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Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Moi666, Jul 29, 2006.
It's a subject that interests me - as i have never done to my parents!
Here are some resources:
Coming Out Stories
Usually through the front door but often through the garage.
15 years ago I got outed as a raving hetro when my mom caught me fucking my wife!!
you could leave them a voice mail ... or send a postcard ... but, in all seriousness, good luck with coming out ... some parents are very good with it, some not so much ...
Sorry about the joke,I hope someone here can help you.
You could 'hide' a gay magazine under your pillow and forget to make your bed.
That's not far off!
My brother (5 years older than I) can over to my apartment. I was 21 or 22 at the time.
I had forgotten to hide a porn magazine well. It was on the floor between the bed and the nightstand. The back cover was facing up.
In a loud voice... he asks.. "LATIN INCHES? WHAT'S THAT?"
ohshitohshitohshit.. Come Bro, lets go (we were on our way out to see a band at a bar) On the way I came out to him. He was cool; I proceeded to get fairly drunk at the bar.
He was cool with it, and called me the next coupple of days just to leave a message on my machine that it was cool, and he still loved me like a brother - and was glad to know me even better than he had before.
Cheers, big bro!
I told my mother when I was 19 that I was having a sexual relationship with a guy. She said "that's nice dear".
I told my dad a week later. He said: "I know what you're doing and I've been there too but there's nothing like a woman".
In my particular case my dad's mistaken.
I was in High School and 16 years old when I came out.....to everyone including my parents. I have to consider myself fortunate as I had none of the hardships many people experience when coming out at a young age.
I think all parents will have at least some issues when their child comes out. No matter what his/her age. Mom was upset because I would most likely not provide her with grandchildren. Dad was ex-military...enough said. With time everything worked out and I'm glad I did everything the way I did.
Coming out is completely different for each person. One must be absolutely comfortable with his or her sexuality and be prepared for the possibility that some of their personal relationships will change significantly, and not always for the best.
All in all, my experience was good and I really don't have any major regrets about how it all happened. Each person "confided" in is an individual decision in regards to timing and to how far the news will travel. Make no mistake, word WILL travel.
Although not a novel, I hope this helps.
My dad was long dead so it reduced that aspect of it but then there was how to tell dear old mom so I arrived at a family function with a man He was a very open man and displayed affection throughout the afternoon and early evening I never had to say a word. Apparently my still living parental unit (we were never close) asked my grandmother, who I had confided in a year or 2 before. My grandmother confirmed my mom's worst nightmares and tossed me aside and began frequenting more church socials (to find me a wife so she could have grandchildren) 20 years later on her deathbed she still was unhappy with my sexuality and for all I know she is in the afterlife still fuming over how I failed to give her any grandchildren or become a concert pianist (she had strange dreams and goals for me)
So I would say go to a family event with a boyfriend and have him hug and kiss you a few times...they'll get the idea.
Coming out is a VERY touchy subject and task to take.
Phantom is right, it's different for every person, and YOU have to be prepared for the questions that will follow, and provide a solid and Sound reasoning why you are choosing this road.
Some parents are cool with it, some will say "Pack your clothes, your not living under my roof"
Some Friends will say "Cool", Some will fly off the handle and possibly want to do physical harm to you.
I would recommend choosing to tell those whom you feel it important to tell, and refrain from telling others.
So, long story short, tell close family friends, and Don't broadcast it to the world.
I strongly disagree with this statement.
NEVER come out to a group of people at one time... This has to be a one on one task.
THEY already know !
I never had to come out.
Being a "cissy" I was never in ...
With the exception of my mom nobody really cared one way or the other so for me it was the only way and it was a lot better than going at it with them one at a time and dealing with the reaction from each of them individually As I say it was the best way for me to handle it.
There is much truth in that remark above by Nelly Gay! In all probability, they know instinctively...even if you are a muscle boy/athlete. Parents were not born yesterday , after all! My many gay friends over the years have told me more stories about being outed by their parents than the other way around! THEY JUST KNOW! So don't sweat it so much!:wink:
Havent posted in a while but im going through this at the moment myself so i thought i would add my too bobs worth.
I have come out to 4 of my best friends all took it well at first, 1 is being a bit weird at the moment, but the others are all cool. My family is the next step, when the right time comes i will let my sister know because she is the person i am most closest too and im pretty sure she will get it. My parents on the other hand im sure deep down they know, on the surface they dont cos they are always trying to get me to get a girlfriend, and whenever they see gay people being gay on like will and grace and stuff on tv they go on about how wrong it is (maybe a vain way of trying to discourage me )
But yeh, im pretty sure they have a vague idea and in the end will love me enuff to accept me for who i am, i hope, just go with ur gut thats what im doing, ur gut is never wrong
Oh dear god . . .
That was the most terrifying thing I have ever done in my entire existance! Now I know what people are talking about when they say "an outer-body experience"!! The words just kind of tumbled out as soon as i burst into tears (and the word 'burst' is an accurate description!)
GOOD NEWS! Mum was fine: "I already knew" - bit of a dissappointment :tongue:
Yes I know . . . Nelly Gay and donkeyboy9 . . . You were right.
Thank you so much guys! *I'm crying right now* . . . I want to thank you so much you have all been great and i am so happy right now!
Couldn't have done it without you!
Now just Dad to go . . . . . . .
Andres: "Che mama, Fernando is my boyfriend"
Then she tells my dad, he speaks to me and said it's fine (but they want grand children, so they put that "condition", muojojo)
17 years old.
Congratulations and good work, Moi666!