How Did You Find Love? (gay Relationships)

[zaynmlk1626]

I'm a 29 year old guy, i'm trying to find love, an actual relationship since i was 18. i have met and dated about 20-30 guys all these years. i never ever in my life had an actual relationship with any of them.

I have fallen in love twice in my life, my first love was when i was 21, he was 19 and he was the first guy i ever had sex with. I loved him so hard i would give my life for him. We lived in the same town so he started messaging me on facebook he flirted with me we went out for drinks and that's how it started. Even though there was so much passion, i can not say our personalities matched a lot but we had a great time together. He never mentioned the word ''relationship'' the 5 months we were dating. After 5 months he called to tell me that he just met someone and had a relationship with him. Broke my heart into pieces, took me over 3 years of depression to start feeling a little better.

The second love of my life came a couple of years later, a guy found me on facebook and started flirting with me. he lived in a city way too far from where i live so i did so when he messaged me i replied just to be kind and for fun. We started talking more and more, then skyping and as i got to now him better i started linking him a lot. We had so much in common, i had so much fun talking to him, i was never bored. I started thinking that he was a great match with me and that it would be a shame not to meet him in person. Booked a flight and went to meet him, had the best weekend of my life. Everything was fine when a couple of months later he said he did not want me any more. He never fell in love with me i guess. I did, i had never imagined how the guy i would marry one day would look like, when i met him i knew inside it was him. Broke my heart into a million pieces cause this relationship was meaningful, to me at least. I haven't stopped thinking about him till today. I am feeling depressed till today.

Meanwhile, i did meet other guys, through grindr, instagram, facebook, i did go out for dates i did had sex with some of them. No one ever told me he wanted to be in a relationship with me. Actually the majority of them the next day disappears. I did go on dates that i was not that into the guy, surprisingly he was, he wanted to meet me again. I didn't. I have been to dates that i thought went great and i actually liked the guy, they disappeared.

I am feeling so tired with this whole situation, i am tired searching, meeting,dating, falling in love and nothing good happening in the end. My heart can not go through a big disappointment again. I can not understand how people think. How do you share time feelings dreams etc with someone and then suddenly throws you away like a piece of trash, how does he erase all these feelings and memories? I find gay dating so difficult. Lately i have realized that i chat with guys on social media, i spend time getting to know them and when i propose to go for a drink or something, they disappear. What's going on? Isn't actual dating in fashion anymore? Is it just one night stands? Cause i can not work like that. I did some one night stands when i was younger but it's just not for me.

So if you're gay and in a long term relationship, how did you meet your partner? How did it start and why do you think it lasted? What do you think i should do to meet someone who actually want's something serious? I find dating stressful, of course we all do i suppose, you know, the first date when you meet someone for the first time and you have no idea what you're going to talk about.And i've been through that more than enough times. I hate changing sexual partners all the time just in the thought of STDs, i need someone who i know is there for me, i can share my thoughts and dreams, that i can trust, that i can have fun with. I really want to experience how is it like to be in a relationship. Having a partner, go on vacation in the summer with him for example. I'm 29 and i have never experienced things like that.

What am i doing wrong? Am just unlucky? Am i cursed or something? I don't see why i am single all these years. Why did those 2 guys that i fell in love with liked me first, flirted me and started getting to know me till everything was perfect and then suddenly left me? What is wrong with me? I have so many dating stories to tell that i could write a book. I am tired inside.

 

[Industrialsize]

42 years ago, I asked my current husband to dance at a gay dance club. He said yes. We've been together ever since.

 

[51arledge]

ZaynMLK, buddy I feel for you.
I grew up very shy and in a repressive religion and time in a small town. I felt alone until I went to college and then found my first BF, but we were in college and went our separate ways. I stayed closeted and had only one night stands for 14 years after that and one night stands are a lonely way to live.
Along the way I became an alcoholic, eventually getting into a recovery program. Then I went to a huge event for recovering gay alcoholics and their friends. Then the handsomest man I had ever seen won the raffle prize at midnight. A few minutes later he approached me and now 31 years later we are still a couple.
He has however had a number of major health issues and often I still feel very alone. We've done couples therapy which helped, but he's not always capable of real emotional or intellectual connection.

 

[talent]

I met my first partner when I was 19 years old and about to finish school. He was an assistant teacher from a foreign country. That alone did make him stand out and attracted me even more. We spent a lot of time together, fell in love and ended up being partners for about 6, 7 years although we only saw each other every three or four weeks or during vacations. We only spent one year living at the same place. It eventually ended because he couldn't commit himself completely.

Over the next 9 years, I had some flings, but nothing really serious happened.

Until I met my partner for the past 9 years, who also lives in a different place, sometimes even a different country. We met on a dating website (while both being on vacation in the same town), met up for sex and spent the rest of the day together. One thing led to another, finally we both managed to live the same place. We are very different, but as people say, opposites attract.

My point is:
There are so many ways to come across that one special person. Just don't worry too much about it, don't take things too seriously. Because anyway, it will happen when you least expect it.

 

[Growing123]

I cannot find anybody. I look in the wrong places. I was so closeted that it's still hard to go to gay bars. Lot's of hiding to myself still. Sit in steam room hoping that I will meet the love of my life. I'm kidding myself. I feel sad admitting this in writing. Why did it take me nearly 30 years to accept myself. Such a loser.

 

[spaj8987]

Not sure if it's proper for me to comment on this since i'm straight and haven't been in a relationship in a while but here's what i think is happening. I think most people approach relationships like casual friendships instead of relationships. With the chance of the interaction becoming serious IF there aren't any other thought to be better candidates out there.

Sort of like a...yeah i like that one but this one has this an that. There's also an expectation of that same treatment. Yada yada want to hurt you and be hurt by you sort of thing.

The times for these reactions to me are different among people. Some want that casual friendship for years...others months an so on. I think problems arise when there's mix matched expectations. Or uneven time frames for when the casual friendship expectation is...expected to change. One person might expect it to change into something serious after four months or with some sort of signal (the other person say...listening to them and doing something according to what they've heard.) while another might have expect it to happen three years from some other signal.

Might sound weird but the advice i keep hearing that makes the most sense to me is..stop looking. Start instead looking for friendships, happiness and bettering yourself. Not in a egotistically narcissistic...i am the world sort of way but a i'm chilling and am looking for others to chill with too sort of way.

Could be wrong but that seems like the most logical way to find love to me.

 

[852838]

I'm a 29 year old guy, i'm trying to find love, an actual relationship since i was 18. i have met and dated about 20-30 guys all these years. i never ever in my life had an actual relationship with any of them.

I have fallen in love twice in my life, my first love was when i was 21, he was 19 and he was the first guy i ever had sex with. I loved him so hard i would give my life for him. We lived in the same town so he started messaging me on facebook he flirted with me we went out for drinks and that's how it started. Even though there was so much passion, i can not say our personalities matched a lot but we had a great time together. He never mentioned the word ''relationship'' the 5 months we were dating. After 5 months he called to tell me that he just met someone and had a relationship with him. Broke my heart into pieces, took me over 3 years of depression to start feeling a little better.

The second love of my life came a couple of years later, a guy found me on facebook and started flirting with me. he lived in a city way too far from where i live so i did so when he messaged me i replied just to be kind and for fun. We started talking more and more, then skyping and as i got to now him better i started linking him a lot. We had so much in common, i had so much fun talking to him, i was never bored. I started thinking that he was a great match with me and that it would be a shame not to meet him in person. Booked a flight and went to meet him, had the best weekend of my life. Everything was fine when a couple of months later he said he did not want me any more. He never fell in love with me i guess. I did, i had never imagined how the guy i would marry one day would look like, when i met him i knew inside it was him. Broke my heart into a million pieces cause this relationship was meaningful, to me at least. I haven't stopped thinking about him till today. I am feeling depressed till today.

Meanwhile, i did meet other guys, through grindr, instagram, facebook, i did go out for dates i did had sex with some of them. No one ever told me he wanted to be in a relationship with me. Actually the majority of them the next day disappears. I did go on dates that i was not that into the guy, surprisingly he was, he wanted to meet me again. I didn't. I have been to dates that i thought went great and i actually liked the guy, they disappeared.

I am feeling so tired with this whole situation, i am tired searching, meeting,dating, falling in love and nothing good happening in the end. My heart can not go through a big disappointment again. I can not understand how people think. How do you share time feelings dreams etc with someone and then suddenly throws you away like a piece of trash, how does he erase all these feelings and memories? I find gay dating so difficult. Lately i have realized that i chat with guys on social media, i spend time getting to know them and when i propose to go for a drink or something, they disappear. What's going on? Isn't actual dating in fashion anymore? Is it just one night stands? Cause i can not work like that. I did some one night stands when i was younger but it's just not for me.

So if you're gay and in a long term relationship, how did you meet your partner? How did it start and why do you think it lasted? What do you think i should do to meet someone who actually want's something serious? I find dating stressful, of course we all do i suppose, you know, the first date when you meet someone for the first time and you have no idea what you're going to talk about.And i've been through that more than enough times. I hate changing sexual partners all the time just in the thought of STDs, i need someone who i know is there for me, i can share my thoughts and dreams, that i can trust, that i can have fun with. I really want to experience how is it like to be in a relationship. Having a partner, go on vacation in the summer with him for example. I'm 29 and i have never experienced things like that.

What am i doing wrong? Am just unlucky? Am i cursed or something? I don't see why i am single all these years. Why did those 2 guys that i fell in love with liked me first, flirted me and started getting to know me till everything was perfect and then suddenly left me? What is wrong with me? I have so many dating stories to tell that i could write a book. I am tired inside.

I feel like your story could be my own only you got started younger than me and I’m past 29 years old at this point.

Saturday I had a date that seemed to go well. We met for lunch and had a nice time. We decided to meet at the movies Sunday afternoon at 2 pm. At 1:55 with me outside the theatre about to text and ask if he wanted me to get his ticket he text and said he wasn’t interested in me. I wondered why it took him 24 hours to figure that out.....
Also earlier Tuesday night (its early Wednesday here now) the guy I had scheduled at date with for Saturday text and cancelled. Sigh

I’ve become increasingly sad and depressed over this for weeks. I’m not desperate yet have started to feel desperation over this year because all, all but a couple of friends are now in long term relationships.

Three years ago I met a guy here who I found attractive yet he made it clear he didn’t do relationships, just sex. We fooled around maybe a 4 or 5 times, nothing serious since thats not what he wanted but I would have liked to. We did hang out non sexually a few times. Well earlier this year he starts dating someone who I noticed he spent a ton of time with on social media that he said “was just having fun”. Yeah, now they are moving in together.

I’ve heard the “trying too hard” statement and believe it applies to me sometimes. I’ve also found that if I sit around and wait for Mr right then he is unlikely to knock on my door.

Sorry just venting. I’m with mom for a few days for Thanksgiving and I really didn’t think I wouldn’t be bringing someone home for the holidays at this point in my life.

 

[walkies]

I think the key for me was to not look for anything in particular but remain open to the idea of it. I’d been in 3 semi-long term relationships in quick succession and felt that I needed a relationship to help define me, in the end I realised that I was choosing people who weren’t the best for me. Driven by my compassion, and want to help people. These people where in my life until they felt they didn’t need me anymore, and at the time that didn’t make sense to me. After some soul searching I purposely stayed single for some time to learn who I was, I learned to enjoy being me, and I more importantly learned to value myself. Guys came and went and I had my fun (maybe too much at times), but when the right guy appeared I knew it felt right, I didn’t put any pressure on it and didn’t feel the need to jump straight into a ‘relationship’ - we just let it progress naturally. That’s my ramblings for a Wednesday evening.

oh, and we met at a coffee shop, one of the few guys I’ve met/dated/has sex with by actually meeting in real life first and not online. I do think that makes a bit of difference

 

[ashmit]

I think what makes a loving relationship work is friendship, compassionate love, understanding , acceptance and gratefulness for having love. I think if we are ready to be vulnerable it's a lot easier to find love.
I am 28 now. I have been in a relationship with my life partner for 9 years.
I met him when I was in school. He was in my class. He was very handsome. I liked him from the first time I saw him. In my country homosexuality was crime at the time and wasn't acceptable in society ( still isn't). He sat next to me first day of the school and then everyday after that. We struck friendship. I used to have wet dreams about him. I didn't know I was gay at the time. The wet dreams helped me realize that I like him in that way. We became very close friends by that point.
He was popular in school. I was afraid that if he finds out that his 'best bud' was in love with him , he will beat the shit out of me. He used to act very macho. He used to talk to me about girls he thought were hot and cars. I was and still am very shy. He used to tease me about it.
Later, Slowly I realized a pattern. He always used to hang out with different guy for few weeks and then just stop. I got a little suspicious. I followed him and his new ' friend' from his neighborhood one day . I followed them to a old abandoned building. I saw him fucking the other guy through a window. Then I realized that he must be doing this will all those guys. I was very angry and jealous. I waited till he came out. They both froze when they saw me. The other guy ran away. When I went near him he started to cry and asked me not to tell anyone. I told him then that I liked him. He said he was in love with me but didn't think I was gay.
Over next few months we started talking about our feelings and sexuality. But I wasn't sure about having sex with him. I thought he will do with me what he did with those other guys. I have anxiety issues. So I was freaking out. I told him this. He said that all those guys didn't mean anything to him. He said he was in love with me all this years and wants to be only with me. He said he hasn't been with anyone since he found out I liked him. It took me long time to trust him but I lost my virginity to him on
his birthday. We commitment to each other.
We decided to go to same college. I was very happy with him. About three years in our relationship he told me that he has started liking some other guy but he loves me a lot and doesn't want to hurt our relationship. He hadn't cheated on me but he said he wasn't able to resist it any longer. I didn't want to loose him. He slept with that guy and lost interest in him in two months. I was very jealous but I didn't want to break up. He felt very guilty. We worked on our relationship and managed to make it work. I realized that it was just a sexual thing and didn't mean anything. He has been with 2 other guys after that in all this years. He told me about it and said it didn't mean anything.
He is very loving and caring towards me. When my anxiety is bad on some days he supports me a lot. When I was very critical with dengue fever he didn't leave my side for 3 days. He was with me when my grandfather died. I think that is what it means to be in a relationship. To love , care and support each other. Granted he cheated on me three times but I overlooked that considering what nice friend and boyfriend he has been.( Not that I tell him this)
In my country a homosexual relationship is not acceptable to Law or society. In such condition I am very happy that I have him. He wants to spend his life with me. I want same. We both live a closeted life but I'm greatful that I have him.

 

[deleted3782]

Might sound weird but the advice i keep hearing that makes the most sense to me is..stop looking. Start instead looking for friendships, happiness and bettering yourself. Not in a egotistically narcissistic...i am the world sort of way but a i'm chilling and am looking for others to chill with too sort of way.

Good advice. I stopped looking years ago. I focus on bettering myself and following interesting pursuits. There are other ways you can spend your energy than throwing yourself out into a brutal dating scene. I suppose you can try to find happiness through someone else, but it is much more important to build contentment from within. It's an investment of time that you make in yourself and your investment will grow over your lifetime. Perhaps you will end up as a stronger person than someone on which whose existence and happiness depends on someone else.

 

[Jcam987]

Happily partnered for nearly 20 years. And in the early days of the internet and the beginning of chat rooms, we met on the internet in an AOL chat room.

 

[aThickDallas1]

I met my husband on gay.com back when it was a thing (2002). I think online dating sites - true dating sites, not hookup apps like Grindr - are a great way to meet compatible partners because you can learn so much about a potential match before you ever even meet them in person.

 

[deleted1074483]

hey Zayn like others have said it always starts with yourself, which when feeling down/depressed is difficult as it becomes a self propelling situation, but you need to focus on who you are, like yourself for who you are first and be comfortable in your own skin. The times I've met guys have been when I've not been looking and just happy being single. I've had 3 long term relationships (over 6-7 yrs each) and some big gaps in between, I met them in person with friends or online, there is no 'magic' to how to find someone, unfortunately.

But if looking on line be honest about what you're after, so if you're looking for a ltr then put that, if you meet up with a guy and want a ltr then don't put out first time, give it time to develop and see if you like each other.

my current bf I met literally on my doorstep - he's a landscaper and was working on the new estate that i'd moved into and over a couple of weeks we got to know each other when I worked at home - he knew I was gay as he'd seen my then fb leave the house and came on to me.

so its about opening up your social circle, mixing with gay friends or at gay events, doing some volunteering with other gay guys that you then get to know naturally and not focussing on whats missing from your life, but whats good about your life.

Easy said I know. And more difficult if you live in a country or area that is not as open to gays.

good luck with it though, and believe in yourself mate.

 

[reyes12]

There isn't any solution. be yourself. you may meet someone or you may not

It's a sad truth

be kind to yourself and others. Thats what counts.

I'm a 29 year old guy, i'm trying to find love, an actual relationship since i was 18. i have met and dated about 20-30 guys all these years. i never ever in my life had an actual relationship with any of them.

I have fallen in love twice in my life, my first love was when i was 21, he was 19 and he was the first guy i ever had sex with. I loved him so hard i would give my life for him. We lived in the same town so he started messaging me on facebook he flirted with me we went out for drinks and that's how it started. Even though there was so much passion, i can not say our personalities matched a lot but we had a great time together. He never mentioned the word ''relationship'' the 5 months we were dating. After 5 months he called to tell me that he just met someone and had a relationship with him. Broke my heart into pieces, took me over 3 years of depression to start feeling a little better.

The second love of my life came a couple of years later, a guy found me on facebook and started flirting with me. he lived in a city way too far from where i live so i did so when he messaged me i replied just to be kind and for fun. We started talking more and more, then skyping and as i got to now him better i started linking him a lot. We had so much in common, i had so much fun talking to him, i was never bored. I started thinking that he was a great match with me and that it would be a shame not to meet him in person. Booked a flight and went to meet him, had the best weekend of my life. Everything was fine when a couple of months later he said he did not want me any more. He never fell in love with me i guess. I did, i had never imagined how the guy i would marry one day would look like, when i met him i knew inside it was him. Broke my heart into a million pieces cause this relationship was meaningful, to me at least. I haven't stopped thinking about him till today. I am feeling depressed till today.

Meanwhile, i did meet other guys, through grindr, instagram, facebook, i did go out for dates i did had sex with some of them. No one ever told me he wanted to be in a relationship with me. Actually the majority of them the next day disappears. I did go on dates that i was not that into the guy, surprisingly he was, he wanted to meet me again. I didn't. I have been to dates that i thought went great and i actually liked the guy, they disappeared.

I am feeling so tired with this whole situation, i am tired searching, meeting,dating, falling in love and nothing good happening in the end. My heart can not go through a big disappointment again. I can not understand how people think. How do you share time feelings dreams etc with someone and then suddenly throws you away like a piece of trash, how does he erase all these feelings and memories? I find gay dating so difficult. Lately i have realized that i chat with guys on social media, i spend time getting to know them and when i propose to go for a drink or something, they disappear. What's going on? Isn't actual dating in fashion anymore? Is it just one night stands? Cause i can not work like that. I did some one night stands when i was younger but it's just not for me.

So if you're gay and in a long term relationship, how did you meet your partner? How did it start and why do you think it lasted? What do you think i should do to meet someone who actually want's something serious? I find dating stressful, of course we all do i suppose, you know, the first date when you meet someone for the first time and you have no idea what you're going to talk about.And i've been through that more than enough times. I hate changing sexual partners all the time just in the thought of STDs, i need someone who i know is there for me, i can share my thoughts and dreams, that i can trust, that i can have fun with. I really want to experience how is it like to be in a relationship. Having a partner, go on vacation in the summer with him for example. I'm 29 and i have never experienced things like that.

What am i doing wrong? Am just unlucky? Am i cursed or something? I don't see why i am single all these years. Why did those 2 guys that i fell in love with liked me first, flirted me and started getting to know me till everything was perfect and then suddenly left me? What is wrong with me? I have so many dating stories to tell that i could write a book. I am tired inside.

 

[deleted3782]

This article ended up on my landing page this morning and I remembered this thread. I agree with the sentiment "Love is more than a feeling; it's a choice"

From the article: "If you're not in a relationship, propose doing this experiment with someone you've always thought was interesting but have yet to take the leap with. What do you have to lose?

And if you're in a relationship, skip the fancy dinner or other high-pressure, conventional thing.

Instead, grab a bottle of wine and make the choice to commit to the magic of the questions. Allow the vulnerability of the answers to carry you even closer together. Take on the challenge of revealing yourself even more deeply to the person you cherish most in the world, and revel in the soul-deep connection that can ensue."

Read the full article here:
Want to Fall in Love With Your Partner Again? Science Says to Ask Them These 36 Questions - Inc. - Pocket

 

[Magic_Micke]

Dedicating my first post on this site to you Zayn!

As so many previous posts have stated, the big fat cliché of focusing on yourself first and foremost is probably the best advice. When you are comfortable enough of being with yourself, other people will notice that and maybe try to get onboard. Don't see dates that don't lead to relationships as failures, learn from them about yourself, what attracts you and what are your dealbreakers. Remember, you are also one step closer to finding The One =)

On the topic of where to meet him, I would suggest not closing any doors, including the Internet. My guy found me on Grindr, and we've been together 1,5 years on Sunday.

Good luck man, he's out there and worth the struggle.

 

[zaynmlk1626]

ok, it's been quite a while since i made this post and many of you did show interest in it, which i really appreciate, so now i think i need to update you about my current situation in my personal life, a lot has changed since i created this thread.

due to the fact that i was an emotional mess i decided to visit a therapist about over a month ago, we talked and i felt better, she also wrote me out a prescription in order to make me feel better. i had to take some pills for a month. it's been over a month now so i don't have to take this medication anymore.

when i talked to my therapist and i realized i had to to take pills for a month i decided that December would be my ''calm down month'', i was really persuaded that with the help of the pills, i would try to feel better with myself, relax enjoy life, family, friends, work and i would not think about dating or guys or anything about my sex life. that did not happen. 2 weeks after visiting my therapist and i was starting to feel a lot better, i matched with this guy in tinder. at first i was like ''i am not dating anyone this month'' so i didn't even message him, he did. we started chatting and he looked like a really nice and kind guy but still i wasn't interested in going on a date with him. he wasn't that cute anyway.

i'm not sure how but after a few days he persuaded me that we would go out for a drink, i have to mention here that i never told him about my situation, my medication and that i wanted to avoid dating anyone this month. well he was a total stranger and i did not feel comfortable talking about it with him. on the other hand i was like ''what the hell, i am just going out for a drink, it's so simple, i don't have anything to lose anyway'' plus i was flattered that he would drive all that way to come meet me since we live in different cities.

anyway, we went on a date, the truth is i liked his personality, he was really kind, down to earth, i was not bored with him, we always had something to talk about, he made me feel very comfortable and relaxed. it was a good date, we made out in the car after the drinks, he did not pressure my for anything more than that which i really appreciated. in general he seemed like a pretty decent normal guy and he also said that he is looking for an actual relationship, like me. i did not believe that of course cause in my experience, most guys say that when they just wanna have sex with you. a few days later we went on a second date, again it was really fan, i enjoyed spending time with him, still i can not say i was really sexually attracted to him, he would turn me on, but it's not that i would die to have sex with him. i'm not sure how to explain that, i think i was more emotionally attracted to him due to him great personality, than physically attracted to him. on the other hand i could feel he liked me a lot and i was not wrong.

after our second date things were kinda weird, in my mind anyway, i would text him but he would reply after hours, i would call but he would not pick up etc, which automatically due to my traumatizing experiences with previous relationships, made me think that he is an asshole, he is not that into me and he is just messing around with me. what i did, as an emotional wreck i was, i decided to go out and meet this other guy that we matched on tinder way earlier but never talked. he was really really sexy and i liked him a lot. i did go out with him, also a great date, this guy made me horny just by even looking at him. nice guy, smart, we also had really fan, we laughed a lot, after our drinks we stayed in my car and made out, gave blow jobs to each other, i was really sexually attracted to that second guy. i started feeling weird, good weird and bad weird, i felt really lucky that i had met 2 different guys that liked me in such a sort time, on the other hand it made me feel like a slut and it kinda felt like ''cheating'' on the first guy, which was not my intention at all.

a few days later the first guy contacts me again, he said he was really sorry he disappeared but he had some family problems etc and it had nothing to do with me, he said he likes me a lot and really wants to see me again. i felt really bad meeting with the second guy after i talked to him. of course what i was thinking was that he was messing around with me and that he would not meet me again, this is why i met with the second guy, i never told him, i felt really guilty inside. i still do. well, we've been over 6 dates with the first guy now, he is really into me, he is really kind and funny and we have a great time together. he also proposed that we go on a trip at the weekend stay at a hotel and spend some time alone, finally have sex since we both live with our families and we did not have the chance to have actual sex yet. i can still say i am not very sexually attracted to him, i am mentally attracted to him though. i can also admit that i can not stop thinking about the second guy, i can not forget how much sexual tension was between us, plus i also had great time with him besides sex. that second guy even though he said he was also looking for a relationship, he did not contact with me for days. i did text him we chatted for a while but that's all. i'm not sure what he's thinking and if he's willing to meet me again or not. i feel guilty inside. the first guy is a really nice person and i don't want to be an asshole to him, the sexual attraction is low though, the second guy is still in my mind.

i am going on a trip with the first guy this weekend to a really cute hotel on the mountain. i am sure it's going to be really fun cause we always have fun together, i will try my best to have sex with him. i am kinda worried how is it going to work, since his penis is quite large and i'm not sure if it's going to fit, i always had this problem with ''big'' guys. he also has a ''difficulty'' in ''cuming'' it takes him quite a while to cum which is also a problem for me, say i can finally take his large penis inside me i'm not sure how long i will i be able to be fucked till he cums. this weekend is a ''test'' i guess. it will help me realize if this ''relationship'' can go on. the guy is quite crazy about me now, he even said ''i love you'',i really appreciate his feelings about me and i by no means want to hurt him, actually last night we were together and suddenly the second guy called me when it's been days since we did not talk. i did not answer of course, i was making out with the first guy that time, while i was listening to the phone ringing, making out with the first guy, i could also listen to a voice in my head ''you're a slut, you're a slut''

i'm not sure what i should do. i think that i will be, after this weekend though. i would also like to listen to your opinions too. how do you choose between 2 guys when the first one is the perfect boyfriend material but the second one makes your dick hard just by looking at him.

i would also like to add that emotionally i am feeling a lot better now, i am happy, i think it's the therapist, the pills and the fact that 2 guys like me at the same time, i would never expect something like that to happen. i've been single for 5 years and a lot of things are happening at the same time in the last month, it's kinda stressful.

who would guess i'd become a ''gay Carrie Bradshaw'' at this point of my life.

even though i tried, that month was not a very ''calm down month'' after all

 

[brody]

ok, it's been quite a while since i made this post and many of you did show interest in it, which i really appreciate, so now i think i need to update you about my current situation in my personal life, a lot has changed since i created this thread.

due to the fact that i was an emotional mess i decided to visit a therapist about over a month ago, we talked and i felt better, she also wrote me out a prescription in order to make me feel better. i had to take some pills for a month. it's been over a month now so i don't have to take this medication anymore.

when i talked to my therapist and i realized i had to to take pills for a month i decided that December would be my ''calm down month'', i was really persuaded that with the help of the pills, i would try to feel better with myself, relax enjoy life, family, friends, work and i would not think about dating or guys or anything about my sex life. that did not happen. 2 weeks after visiting my therapist and i was starting to feel a lot better, i matched with this guy in tinder. at first i was like ''i am not dating anyone this month'' so i didn't even message him, he did. we started chatting and he looked like a really nice and kind guy but still i wasn't interested in going on a date with him. he wasn't that cute anyway.

i'm not sure how but after a few days he persuaded me that we would go out for a drink, i have to mention here that i never told him about my situation, my medication and that i wanted to avoid dating anyone this month. well he was a total stranger and i did not feel comfortable talking about it with him. on the other hand i was like ''what the hell, i am just going out for a drink, it's so simple, i don't have anything to lose anyway'' plus i was flattered that he would drive all that way to come meet me since we live in different cities.

anyway, we went on a date, the truth is i liked his personality, he was really kind, down to earth, i was not bored with him, we always had something to talk about, he made me feel very comfortable and relaxed. it was a good date, we made out in the car after the drinks, he did not pressure my for anything more than that which i really appreciated. in general he seemed like a pretty decent normal guy and he also said that he is looking for an actual relationship, like me. i did not believe that of course cause in my experience, most guys say that when they just wanna have sex with you. a few days later we went on a second date, again it was really fan, i enjoyed spending time with him, still i can not say i was really sexually attracted to him, he would turn me on, but it's not that i would die to have sex with him. i'm not sure how to explain that, i think i was more emotionally attracted to him due to him great personality, than physically attracted to him. on the other hand i could feel he liked me a lot and i was not wrong.

after our second date things were kinda weird, in my mind anyway, i would text him but he would reply after hours, i would call but he would not pick up etc, which automatically due to my traumatizing experiences with previous relationships, made me think that he is an asshole, he is not that into me and he is just messing around with me. what i did, as an emotional wreck i was, i decided to go out and meet this other guy that we matched on tinder way earlier but never talked. he was really really sexy and i liked him a lot. i did go out with him, also a great date, this guy made me horny just by even looking at him. nice guy, smart, we also had really fan, we laughed a lot, after our drinks we stayed in my car and made out, gave blow jobs to each other, i was really sexually attracted to that second guy. i started feeling weird, good weird and bad weird, i felt really lucky that i had met 2 different guys that liked me in such a sort time, on the other hand it made me feel like a slut and it kinda felt like ''cheating'' on the first guy, which was not my intention at all.

a few days later the first guy contacts me again, he said he was really sorry he disappeared but he had some family problems etc and it had nothing to do with me, he said he likes me a lot and really wants to see me again. i felt really bad meeting with the second guy after i talked to him. of course what i was thinking was that he was messing around with me and that he would not meet me again, this is why i met with the second guy, i never told him, i felt really guilty inside. i still do. well, we've been over 6 dates with the first guy now, he is really into me, he is really kind and funny and we have a great time together. he also proposed that we go on a trip at the weekend stay at a hotel and spend some time alone, finally have sex since we both live with our families and we did not have the chance to have actual sex yet. i can still say i am not very sexually attracted to him, i am mentally attracted to him though. i can also admit that i can not stop thinking about the second guy, i can not forget how much sexual tension was between us, plus i also had great time with him besides sex. that second guy even though he said he was also looking for a relationship, he did not contact with me for days. i did text him we chatted for a while but that's all. i'm not sure what he's thinking and if he's willing to meet me again or not. i feel guilty inside. the first guy is a really nice person and i don't want to be an asshole to him, the sexual attraction is low though, the second guy is still in my mind.

i am going on a trip with the first guy this weekend to a really cute hotel on the mountain. i am sure it's going to be really fun cause we always have fun together, i will try my best to have sex with him. i am kinda worried how is it going to work, since his penis is quite large and i'm not sure if it's going to fit, i always had this problem with ''big'' guys. he also has a ''difficulty'' in ''cuming'' it takes him quite a while to cum which is also a problem for me, say i can finally take his large penis inside me i'm not sure how long i will i be able to be fucked till he cums. this weekend is a ''test'' i guess. it will help me realize if this ''relationship'' can go on. the guy is quite crazy about me now, he even said ''i love you'',i really appreciate his feelings about me and i by no means want to hurt him, actually last night we were together and suddenly the second guy called me when it's been days since we did not talk. i did not answer of course, i was making out with the first guy that time, while i was listening to the phone ringing, making out with the first guy, i could also listen to a voice in my head ''you're a slut, you're a slut''

i'm not sure what i should do. i think that i will be, after this weekend though. i would also like to listen to your opinions too. how do you choose between 2 guys when the first one is the perfect boyfriend material but the second one makes your dick hard just by looking at him.

i would also like to add that emotionally i am feeling a lot better now, i am happy, i think it's the therapist, the pills and the fact that 2 guys like me at the same time, i would never expect something like that to happen. i've been single for 5 years and a lot of things are happening at the same time in the last month, it's kinda stressful.

who would guess i'd become a ''gay Carrie Bradshaw'' at this point of my life.

even though i tried, that month was not a very ''calm down month'' after all

I would say. The first one seems to be a nice guy, so see how the weekend goes, and try be honest and talk to him about the sexual issues that worries you, perhaps it's all just in your head. Good luck.

 

[groundsmen]

42 years ago, I asked my current husband to dance at a gay dance club. He said yes. We've been together ever since.

Love this gents! gives me hope.

 

[groundsmen]

Oh man, i'd say, take the pressure right off, cool it right down and I bet you will have plenty of offers from guys. Also, go with the flow, guys can be hard to tie down/text replies/commitment/and the list goes on. It sounds like you are working on yourself, and that's the best place to start. Men will love the new you.

Also, you're in Athens - there are tonnes of hot guys!!! tonnes. and tonnes.

I, have realised that I have lost the actual love of my life and want more than anything to get him back, but i cant do a thing about it. He was magic and my perfect fit. But that's life.