How did you meet your bf?

young_n_horny

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I've been wondering for a while how do all you other gay guys out there meet your bfs? I've tried countless times to attempt dating someone but it always turns out that they just want sex. What about those of you who dated while underage for drinking/clubbing? A few friends have told me they met their boyfriends at gay clubs and the such which I still can't get into yet. It just seems the dating pool is quite small despite living close to one of the biggest gay areas in the US.
 

nudeyorker

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I met my first real bf at a Vietnam War Rally. The next one rear ended my car on The 405, I met the next one at cookout at the beach. I met one sitting next to him on a long flight... I could go on and on... (My husband and I met in a department store and were fixed up on a blind date a year later)
 

FuzzyKen

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The first two were met in disproval of physics where two objects tried to occupy the same space at the same time and the third one that has been my life-partner was met on the internet through a group called Bear.net which no longer exists. We have been together over 13 years now. If you want to talk more PM me and be patient. I will get back to you on this and maybe give you some ideas you have not had before.
 

D_Lee_Iacuckold

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So hard nowadays. It's like you meet someone and everything is going great and then reality hits. Too busy, too scared, met someone else, just sex, etc...the list goes on. I guess patience and some luck. But I believe in faith and destiny and that the time will come. Some say you got to put yourself out there, others say don't look for it. I've done both, close but no cigar. It makes me wonder if its me, but ehh, who knows lol.
 

montana101

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Yeah man I'm in the same boat, under 21 and living in a city with not a ton of options. Well that is to my understanding; each time I bring up the fact that there aren't enough guys to date or meet here, my friends say stuff like, "We are in the most gay friendly city in the South." If it was such a gay city, why am I not dating them and when I finally meet a guy and begin to like him he tells me he has no feelings for me and then starts seeing another guy within two days of giving me the shoulder. (it wasn't cold just honest) I keep hoping that if I move to a better city, have a better toned body, and then have a great job making good cash. The guy I want will be out there. Yet, I don't and can't wait that long.
I'm just lost surrounded by people.
 

D_22

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So hard nowadays. It's like you meet someone and everything is going great and then reality hits. Too busy, too scared, met someone else, just sex, etc...the list goes on. I guess patience and some luck. But I believe in faith and destiny and that the time will come. Some say you got to put yourself out there, others say don't look for it. I've done both, close but no cigar. It makes me wonder if its me, but ehh, who knows lol.

I thought you were with someone fairly recently. It didn't end well? :frown1:
 

D_Lee_Iacuckold

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I thought you were with someone fairly recently. It didn't end well? :frown1:


He was TOOOOOOO BUSY!!! work and partying was more of a priority. He wasnt ready emotionally and mentally, so instead trying to work it out, I just let him be. I do think in the future that I will see him again, so I havent officially given up, just giving space.
 

Catharsis

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I can empathize. In America, being under 21 pretty much limits my ability to meet new people in a casual situation, and it's very frustrating.

If you live in a metro area that contains a large gay population, then I'm assuming that there are plenty of LGBT support groups or resource centers or something of that sort. I'm sure they hold some weekly events and gatherings you could look into.

That has been suggested to me after trying to meet new guys online didn't work out for me. Not that I couldn't meet "quality" guys from the internet, which seems to be what most people complain about, but instead I had trouble meeting any guy from it. I won't go into detail - but regardless, the internet is still another resource for you to use.

As far as the support groups go, the only local one I could find is right on campus for me - and my job interferes with all the meetings and events that apply to me, so I've been a bit bummed about that. I still plan to spend some of my free time in the center, although I don't expect to meet any guys from that.

Needless to say, I'm interested in this topic and any insight that others might be able to provide. It really makes me wonder how some gay couples found each other... And I'd like to know for myself.
 

D_22

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He was TOOOOOOO BUSY!!! work and partying was more of a priority. He wasnt ready emotionally and mentally, so instead trying to work it out, I just let him be. I do think in the future that I will see him again, so I havent officially given up, just giving space.

I hope everything works out for you, man. You seem like a great guy and a damn good catch.
 

D_Blue_Barry_Eel

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Was worried it'd just be guys who just wanted sex here too, though the guy I'm interested in (and hopefully with soon, though he doesn't want to officially be in a relationship yet as he's only just come to terms with accepting he's gay and stuff) was just a friend who I met through another friend last year.

So yeah, pure chance seems to be it unfortunately.
 

young_n_horny

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So hard nowadays. It's like you meet someone and everything is going great and then reality hits. Too busy, too scared, met someone else, just sex, etc...the list goes on. I guess patience and some luck. But I believe in faith and destiny and that the time will come. Some say you got to put yourself out there, others say don't look for it. I've done both, close but no cigar. It makes me wonder if its me, but ehh, who knows lol.

You basically just wrote everything I've dealt with. The one guy I actually grew feelings for is the biggest flake ever/too scared for another relationship. Met another guy that said he didn't want a relationship and only sex, yet two weeks later met someone else and jumped into a relationship with them, and things just get worse from there. I'm really wondering if I'm the only guy in my area that wants a relationship at my age (I'm only 19). Though I live all of 20-30 minutes from West Hollywood which makes me think just maybe there might be someone else out there that I'd be attracted to with the same train of thought as myself.
 

D_Lee_Iacuckold

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You basically just wrote everything I've dealt with. The one guy I actually grew feelings for is the biggest flake ever/too scared for another relationship. Met another guy that said he didn't want a relationship and only sex, yet two weeks later met someone else and jumped into a relationship with them, and things just get worse from there. I'm really wondering if I'm the only guy in my area that wants a relationship at my age (I'm only 19). Though I live all of 20-30 minutes from West Hollywood which makes me think just maybe there might be someone else out there that I'd be attracted to with the same train of thought as myself.

All I will say is that your definition of "relationship" will change as you get older. You are still quite young and the responsibilities of adult hood, in terms of mental/emotional/financial capacity has probably not set in yet for you, nor has it probably set in for a lot of people around your age group. I am by no means soooo full of wisdom because I'm 26 and I still don't know what the hell I'm doing lolol.

But I do know what I can give and not give to any one person at this moment in my life, but also know what I want and need. So I've learned to let go of people sometimes. I will only want to be in a relationship with someone where I compliment the other person and the other person compliments me. I feel like love is becoming more of a "business" as I get older LOL, but geez, its so relatable.
 

D_22

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All I will say is that your definition of "relationship" will change as you get older. You are still quite young and the responsibilities of adult hood, in terms of mental/emotional/financial capacity has probably not set in yet for you, nor has it probably set in for a lot of people around your age group. I am by no means soooo full of wisdom because I'm 26 and I still don't know what the hell I'm doing lolol.

But I do know what I can give and not give to any one person at this moment in my life, but also know what I want and need. So I've learned to let go of people sometimes. I will only want to be in a relationship with someone where I compliment the other person and the other person compliments me. I feel like love is becoming more of a "business" as I get older LOL, but geez, its so relatable.

One of my good friends was actually asking me last night about my recent "relationships" and mentality concerning them. He asked if I even wanted anything and I told him that at this point I wasn't too sure what I wanted but I knew I wanted to be with someone in some form. People usually have this thought that I'm hard to please or that when someone comes along, I don't show my interest and just let them go when in actuality when someone comes along, I do work and go as far as I can to see if something could come out of it, but some people just don't seem to click with me besides the attraction aspect and it's hard to be myself with some people. But I still try to see if something could work and once it can't work, I don't dwell too much and I move on. I've learned from it, the good and bad stuff, so it is what it is. The ones that I do end up finding myself clicking very well with always end up having a boyfriend or girlfriend.