How do gay guys feel about women in gay bars?

Daisy

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GAY GUYS:

I know that gay people have had to get used to straight people in gay clubs, and gay bars.

How do you feel about women being in a leather bar, for example? Not your mainstream fun gay bars but more fetish oriented gay bars?

Does it annoy you? How do you feel about straight couples in gay clubs?
 
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Doesn't bother me any. To me, gay doesn't mean exclusively men anyways. There are lesbians who have the same fetishes, and I would think they qualify as gay as well haha. If straight couples want to come to gay bars, by all means let em!
 

nudeyorker

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I've never had any problems with most anyone in a bar gay, straight or mixed (except Kathy Lee's old hair dresser). I've only been to a few fetish oriented places and they did not allow woman.
 

erratic

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Yeah, I'm fine with it too. In fact, I quite like having a bit of a mix; wall-to-wall homogay sausage party gets a bit too much like IRL Grindr for my liking. Throw in some ladies, some straight dudes, some lesbians...it starts feeling more like a good night at a small-town gay bar - and that, my friends, is a fucking party.
 

billybones

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I have no issues with anyone in gay clubs. Everyone is there to have a good time. A case by case answer might go like this: Bull dikes tend to really dislike me because they dispise that condescension is part of my humor. Lipstick lesbians tend to like me a lot. Straight couples? Well, 90% of the straight couples you run into in gay clubs consist of a really handsome guy who works out too much and his 'wife/girlfriend' who appears to weigh as much as a Fiat. Odds are by the end of the night the guy will be out on the patio doing pull ups with his shirt off and the chick will be in line at the bar to buy herself a drink. Legitimate straight couples, no issues. It's large groups of single straight women that usually end up being the problem. Not a problem in any way other than they pretend their drunk way too early, they spill their drinks on the dance floor and they distract all the lesbians and I end up getting asked I think she has a chance with one of them.

It's the male strippers that dance over my drink at the bar that I have issues with in gay clubs.

I didn't notice the part about fetish bars. I don't go to fetish bars, so I cant really offer any answer based on experience.
 
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MisterSlave

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I do not mind the presence of ladies in a (gay) bar, however, they should not be offended if they see 2 males engaged in sexual activites. It is a gay bar after all. I have heard stories of ladies going into gay bars and getting all offended. Well, what do you expect. Its like Do I get offended if I go into a regular, bar and se a hetero-sex couple going at it or the like. .. .No I don't mind I accept that.

Anyway, Synopsis. . I don't mind ladies in gay bars. . they should know going in, its a gay themes establishment. . Nuff' said.
 

dccane

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I don't really care, but sometimes you see straight people touristing in gay bars staring at everyone like its a freak show. If people are just coming to mingle and have a good time, then it's cool.
 

rbkwp

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Welcome
Imagine some of the Women who would frequent a leather bar, would more than be able to hold there own.
also ordinary Gay bars all & any would be welcome in my books, rightfully so ..
Wish they were allowed in my early frequenting days.
 

billybones

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I do not mind the presence of ladies in a (gay) bar, however, they should not be offended if they see 2 males engaged in sexual activites. It is a gay bar after all. I have heard stories of ladies going into gay bars and getting all offended. Well, what do you expect. Its like Do I get offended if I go into a regular, bar and se a hetero-sex couple going at it or the like. .. .No I don't mind I accept that.

But that's pretty much how we're expected to digest that behavior every where except the gay bars. It's sweet and isn't young love a wonderful thing? when it's a straight couple. Two guys holding hands or kissing each other goodbye at the airport and they have to look over their shoulders.
 

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GAY GUYS:

I know that gay people have had to get used to straight people in gay clubs, and gay bars.

How do you feel about women being in a leather bar, for example? Not your mainstream fun gay bars but more fetish oriented gay bars?

Does it annoy you? How do you feel about straight couples in gay clubs?

It's a safe space for women to come and have fun without feeling the need to be hit on. Of course, some (attractive?) straight guys like to go there too, so they can feel good about being hit on by other men (and turn them down), and they may hit on the women, but telling them "hey, aren't you gay?" is a pretty good come back (unless....)
 

AtomicMouse1950

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I'm a nudist, and I met a business woman, at a nudist resort. She says she feels safer at a nudist resort, than anyplace else she travels too, being on the road, 300 days a year.


It's a safe space for women to come and have fun without feeling the need to be hit on. Of course, some (attractive?) straight guys like to go there too, so they can feel good about being hit on by other men (and turn them down), and they may hit on the women, but telling them "hey, aren't you gay?" is a pretty good come back (unless....)
 

AtomicMouse1950

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My daughter has several gay men friends, and they've taken her to a few local gay bars. She says she always has fun there. It's not every day, that there are straight women at a gay bar. For the most part, I think a gay bar would be the last place a straight person would want to go to. I have no problem with lesbians at a gay men's bar.


prefer men only but I'd choose a bar to go where its just men to begin with
 

tiamold

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Straight women in gay bars are usually annoying. They get drunk and are disrespectful.
I don't go to straight bars and get drunk so its just courtesy.
 

rardo

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Straight women in gay bars are usually annoying. They get drunk and are disrespectful.
I don't go to straight bars and get drunk so its just courtesy.

Most people get drunk in most bars I should have thought, regardless of sex/sexuality. Segregation, be it mentally or physically is so ridiculous. Do you not get drunk in any bars, or do you specifically not get drunk in straight bars? I for one am the same no matter where I am.... Myself, and happily so.
 

Daisy

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Aren't some of the women in a gay bar called lesbians?

I never understood why gay only seems to apply to men.


Sklar
But you knew what I meant didn't you? Yes there are lesbians there but as a straight woman I want gay guys to give feedback about how they feel when straight women go to gay bars. Perhaps I should have clarified that.

I do not mind the presence of ladies in a (gay) bar, however, they should not be offended if they see 2 males engaged in sexual activites. It is a gay bar after all. I have heard stories of ladies going into gay bars and getting all offended. Well, what do you expect. Its like Do I get offended if I go into a regular, bar and se a hetero-sex couple going at it or the like. .. .No I don't mind I accept that.

Anyway, Synopsis. . I don't mind ladies in gay bars. . they should know going in, its a gay themes establishment. . Nuff' said.

I am not only not offended by man/man love I think it's incredibly hot. If people are offended by it I can't imagine why they go to a gay bar in the first place.

Straight women in gay bars are usually annoying. They get drunk and are disrespectful.
I don't go to straight bars and get drunk so its just courtesy.

I can appreciate that but I think all drunk people can be annoying.

Im actually really surprised and encouraged by the majority of the feedback. I think it's great that guys are open minded enough to say "everyone is welcome as long as you're cool" I certainly don't go there to gawk, I just love gay men in general and I have a good time whenever I go to gay bars. I'm gald to know that most guys seem open to that.
 

concupisys

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i worked the bar for a few months in a gay male strip club, and the only night women were allowed to be there was sunday.... i asked the manager why one night, and he said that they had tried letting ladies in on other nights but the fact remained that they simply didn't spend any money there.... since sunday was already relatively slow, they made that night ladies' night just because it made the bar look more full....

as for straight women in gay 'male' bars, i personally don't have an issue (since i don't go to the bars as a rule) but i can see how there might be issues.... lots of times, gay men go to gay male bars because they want to meet/hookup/date guys.... when the place is overrun with straight women hanging out with their gay male friends then it can create somewhat of an uncomfortable environment for the guys to meet and hookup.... straight women can sometimes hover over their gay friends because they tend to be more flamboyant and want to dance.... girls LOVE that.... but in certain bar environments i can see how that might not necessarily be acceptable.... i figure if gay guys want to go to bars to hookup with other guys, they should leave the straight girls at home.... if they just want to dance and have fun, the more the merrier....
 

jdfun

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Basically, here's the deal, ladies are more than welcome to show up, but a few basic pointers:

1.) Don't manhandle every gay guy because we're safe, you're drunk, you're feeling bored/insecure/horny or any other reason. It's a gay bar, most guys are there to be guys and not deal with awkward clingy physical girl moments, this is doubly true with thinking you can just randomly grope a gay stranger. Yes, many of them don't care/won't be bothered but many will. Further, just because you are in a gay bar doesn't mean there aren't straight men. Or predators. Being in a gay bar probably makes you a bit more safe but it doesn't make you invulnerable.

2.) Pick an appropriate scene. Do you want the stereotypical guys with no shirts and ripped abs dancing to horrible disco house music with glitter on? Go to the trendy/twink/hip/fashionista bar that caters to it. Want to relax with a beer after work in a low key no pressure scenario? Hit up the gay dive bar. There's no reason a woman can't show up to, for example, a bear bar, but I think I would caution women to generally steer clear of most serious leather bars and bars notorious for having hook up activity on the premises. This isn't because women can't handle these scenarios, but more because it is far more likely you will be out of place and make gay guys trying to enjoy a dirty night in drunken semi-privacy a little weirded out. Remember, the gay bar is often a refuge for guys who don't have a lot of places to meet other available guys and escape from judgmental environments. I live in a city with a huge gay population, but we still have far less "bump into a stranger get asked out on a date" moments at coffee shops, libararies, work, whatever than you do, so respect that the bar is kind of a big deal for a lot of people, and we've got no problem with you tagging a long.

3.) Don't make us habitually babysit you everytime we go out because you got too hammered to function. See #2 for "this is kind of a big deal" for why.