How do gay men define "virginity"?

[utropia90]

Obviously, gay sex is a lot different than straight sex. Most straight people consider themselves no longer a virgin once they've had penetrative vaginal sex.

But for gay men who aren't into anal, but rather just oral sex, handjobs, rimming, body contact, etc - are they still considered "virgins"?

I ask this because I have only had anal sex once, despite hooking up with a total of 4 guys in my life. The other 2 were oral, one of them was really just some body contact while making out and jerking off, etc.

Last night someone asked me if I was a virgin. I said no, considering I did do anal once when I was 25 (almost 26). But my first sexual experience was at age 23 with a guy who gave me oral, so when I was asked how old I was when I first had sex, I said 23. Is this technically a "lie"?

 

[deleted817718]

As a bisexual man who lost his virginity in same sex relationship, I consider the point my virginity was taken was the first time we had anal sex and my boyfriend came in me, and he lost his virginity at the same time making love to me.

 

[goldscorpguy]

As a bisexual man who lost his virginity in same sex relationship, I consider the point my virginity was taken was the first time we had anal sex and my boyfriend came in me, and he lost his virginity at the same time making love to me.

Exactly the same here. I considered my bisexual virginity as taken the day I first had a cock inside me. All the other oral and stroking fun did not count in the same way.

 

[deleted817718]

Exactly the same here. I considered my bisexual virginity as taken the day I first had a cock inside me. All the other oral and stroking fun did not count in the same way.

It was 3 years after I lost my virginity that I first had sex with a woman!

 

[deleted1074483]

I would have thought that a gay man who was a 'side' aka not into anal may consider themselves not fully a virgin if they've done everything but?

would the american system of bases help??? at what base does a gay man consider he's no longer a virgin?

but I think most people gay, straight or otherwise would say they lost their virginity when they had penetrative sex?

 

[Nacksendora]

Obviously, gay sex is a lot different than straight sex. Most straight people consider themselves no longer a virgin once they've had penetrative vaginal sex.

But for gay men who aren't into anal, but rather just oral sex, handjobs, rimming, body contact, etc - are they still considered "virgins"?

I ask this because I have only had anal sex once, despite hooking up with a total of 4 guys in my life. The other 2 were oral, one of them was really just some body contact while making out and jerking off, etc.

Last night someone asked me if I was a virgin. I said no, considering I did do anal once when I was 25 (almost 26). But my first sexual experience was at age 23 with a guy who gave me oral, so when I was asked how old I was when I first had sex, I said 23. Is this technically a "lie"?

Im 24 and a virgin, you may ignore my opinion if you want to, based on that.

In my opinion losing my virginity happens once i have some kind of sexual encounter, be it a bj, a handjob or even anal. Once you had your first time, you will begin to compare it with others

 

[goldscorpguy]

Im 24 and a virgin, you may ignore my opinion if you want to, based on that.

In my opinion losing my virginity happens once i have some kind of sexual encounter, be it a bj, a handjob or even anal. Once you had your first time, you will begin to compare it with others

I think your opinion as a virgin is very important and definitely not to be ignored.
I can see that any type of first sexual encounter can be a momentous occasion and can be seen as a loss of innocence. I wouldn't change my own opinion that virginity for me relates to penetrative sex, but I certainly respect your view.

 

[chrisrobin]

The first time you get fucked you lose your cherry - virginity.
A first time fucker who shags his lady for the first time takes her virginity.

 

[Nacksendora]

The first time you get fucked you lose your cherry - virginity.
A first time fucker who shags his lady for the first time takes her virginity.

So males(straight or gay) never lose their virginity unless they get fucked?

 

[ArabicBottom]

To me, it has to be when I got my ass penetrated and fuck to completion for the first time. Before that I sucked guys off or had them “fuck” between my thighs. Even had guys penetrate me but stopping.

That said, virginity is an arbitrary concept made up by men to put a value and control women. It can be what you want it to be because at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter

 

[sgtrock]

As a heterosexual I’m not sure I agree with your definition of virginity and/or loss of it.

If we adhere to society’s definition that is one thing but did I lose my virginity the first time I made out with a girl and got my fingers wet and a hard on created by the passion? I say yes. Sure it wasn’t penetration but it was sex to a degree and it was after all my first time (freshmen year) in this experience.

Before I put my thoughts down I looked it up so maybe this would help.

There is no strict definition of sex
To some people, the word “sex” means sexual intercourse — that is, the kind of penis-in-vagina sex that people with typically male and female body parts can have together, sometimes for the purposes of creating children.
But it’s pretty clear that this definition doesn’t quite capture the whole idea of sex or of being sexually active. Instead, it raises all kinds of questions.
For example, would you call it sex if you had almost-sex, oral sex, or anal sex? What about sex using sex toys? Or internet sex? What if someone isn’t sure if they had sex? And, honestly, how long does sex have to last in order for it to count as sex?
That’s just the beginning. Some more examples are as follows:
Plenty of same-sex couples might say they’ve been sexually active together for years without ever having penis-in-vagina sex.
We can’t use baby-making potential as part of the definition of sex, because with in-vitro fertilization (IVF) you can get pregnant without ever having sex.
And what about people who were forced or coerced into having sex — should we call that sex, or should we call that something else?
The bottom line is, there isn’t a single definition of sex that we can all agree on. And if we’re all using different (or changing) definitions of sex, it’s hard to agree on whether or not someone has done it.
Losing your virginity is an idea, not a physical change
Even if we don’t agree on what, exactly, counts as sex, most people have some idea of what it means to be sexually active. And the fact remains that when you enter into a sexual relationship with someone, it’s still a big deal.
So I am sure you will agree that there are many ways of looking at this and the least of which is the old fashion view on virginity and loss of.

 

[goldscorpguy]

I would agree but question the line "losing your virginity is an idea not a physical change". When a woman loses her virginity, traditionally her vagina has been penetrated and her hymen broken.
As the original question was "how do gay men define virginity" this obviously doesn't apply. When a man is anally penetrated there is no physical change to his body. So, I guess in real terms, the answer to this question is open to interpretation.

 

[sgtrock]

Not sure but if something or someone penetrated any of my bodies orifices hasn't it been changed?

I do agree it comes down to interpretation.

 

[deleted1074483]

So males(straight or gay) never lose their virginity unless they get fucked?

personally i'd say either way, you can be a top virgin or a bottom virgin, but if penetration is part of the act by one on another and one or both are 'virgins' then yes they've lost their virginity.

and noting all of @sgtrock's comments which are fair and thought provoking.

 

[Itsmeandyou]

I believe that once you are fucked, you aren’t an anal virgin anymore. Did I miss something?

 

[Bluthesergal97]

I consider virginity to mean that you’ve had sexual contact whether it be anal or otherwise

 

[deleted13888921]

The same as straight sex...penetration. Either you fuck or got fucked.

 

[Longwood8]

I had a conversation about this with friends one night and the consensus was when a penis enters a vagina and in any other instances like oral, or ass, then it's not sex, but just getting off doing sexual acts. But reading other's takes on the topic, it seems to be something not in the confines of the standard definition.

 

[deleted13888921]

I had a conversation about this with friends one night and the consensus was when a penis enters a vagina and in any other instances like oral, or ass, then it's not sex, but just getting off doing sexual acts. But reading other's takes on the topic, it seems to be something not in the confines of the standard definition.

According to the dictionary:
noun
the state of never having had sexual intercourse: he lost his virginity in college.


• the state of being naive, innocent, or inexperienced in a particular context: his political virginity.


ORIGIN Middle English: from Old French virginite, from Latin virginitas, from virgo (see virgin) .

 

[Longwood8]

According to the dictionary:
noun
the state of never having had sexual intercourse: he lost his virginity in college.


• the state of being naive, innocent, or inexperienced in a particular context: his political virginity.


ORIGIN Middle English: from Old French virginite, from Latin virginitas, from virgo (see virgin) .

Thanks. I should have included the definition, since I referenced it.