how do I confront....?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by mplsingleguy, Nov 15, 2008.

  1. mplsingleguy

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    OK i need some quick advice. At my health club there's this long-standing member who is in his late 50s probably, who chews gum while hanging out naked in the steam room/ sauna. I don't have a problem with him being there- he's probably a founding member of the club and he deserves a gold locker or some dumb thing... and I don't have a problem with his nudity- he's the type that likes to sit bareassed on the wood benches in the dry sauna and flop his low hangers over the edge of the bench- either to display or just to keep out of the way... who knows.

    My issue is his gum chewing. It's like a cow chewing cud. Lots of chomping and such. It's annoying as hell when you're in close quarters with a bunch of semi-naked guys, trying to relax.

    I've been building up steam for a while, waiting for the perfect opportunity to say just the right thing to him, either in private or in front of others, that will convey the point without being nasty, critical, or something that will get this old coot angry with me- but something light hearted that, if heard in front of the other guys, wouldn't make him feel bad.

    Anyone have any good witty comments that would be effective?
     
  2. mplsingleguy

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    As an addendum, I was thinking about asking him if his hearing was getting bad... and maybe he can't hear the ruckous that he's making...
     
  3. nudeyorker

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    I would ask someone on the staff at the club to say something to him in private.
     
  4. tgw

    tgw
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    I second that.
     
  5. Mattness

    Mattness New Member

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    Regarding the sitting on the bench naked - that's a health issue, the Club Personnel should say something - his ass juice is getting on the benches and it's spreading to your lungs nasal passages and you're going to die.

    Regarding the gum smacking? I'm with you! It's SO annoying! A simple thing tool is what I use at the movies when people are talking and making other noise, "Shhhhhh!". It alerts them that they're making noise and snaps them out of their zombie-like state. If he questions why you're "Shhh'ing" him, just say, "Do you have ANY idea how much noise you're making with that gum???".

    Good luck. The gym environment is a tricky one since it's a pay environment and I think a lot of guys think they can do anything they want to do. I one time had this muscleman ask me if I could get off of weight machine I was using so he could use it so he could stay on track with his workout times. I pretty much told him to suck my cock. He didn't like that.
     
  6. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    That's going to be a tough one to do because there is no laws or regulations about chewing gum, lol.
     
  7. chiefone4u

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    You could always ask him if he's having trouble getting the taste of cum out of his mouth... lol

    On second thought... that might not go over to well... probably would be best to mention it to a staff member.
     
  8. D_ShiaLeTubeSteak

    D_ShiaLeTubeSteak New Member

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    I'd simply just say aloud when there's a good few people (sincerley) : "can anyone hear that noise? ..."

    Then look to him, and look slightly aggrivated and smoothly say: "oh, it's you" not rude or anything, but just so it embarasses him slightly, then he'll think twice before sounding like a startrecord !!
     
  9. B_starinvestor

    B_starinvestor New Member

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    I think that if you just make light of it such as a joke about his chewing, he won't be offended and will get the point.
     
  10. Phil Ayesho

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    hmmmm... am I the only one here who thinks the OP is being kind of a pussy?

    Who made you to be the arbiter of what other people can or can't do?

    "To hell with individual liberty.... I shall demand that other people accommodate my inablity to cope with the fact that I am not the lord of creation"

    Sorry, folks... cowboy up and learn to deal with the fact that liberty MEANS having to put up with some things from other people.


    ...Talk about a picayune and petty whine... ooh, he's snapping his gum...

    oh, the horror...

    the horror
     
  11. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Just be thankful that he's not eating at your table in a restaurant. I have a feeling that his mama never taught him any chewing manners.

    Saying something won't do any good. As a matter of fact it might turn a bothersome situation into an intolerable one.

    Bite your lip and let him chew his gum.
     
  12. mplsingleguy

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    being a PUSSY? REALLY?

    I guess you don't sit in a sauna or steam room man. The point is that for most guys it's a closely confined space where you're supposed to just chill and quietly relax- perhaps talk quietly with the buddy next to you.

    which is why I came here to the board to ask my fellow brothers how I could nicely make a comment to spare his dignity and still not have to put up with gum chewing that was not tolerated in grade school.

    Please don't insult me for not want to bullyrag another guy who is older and larger than I am in public. I guess your style would be to be as insulting to him as you were to me, huh?
     
  13. mplsingleguy

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    and since I'm clarifying, let me just say, the issue isn't gum chewing. Lots of guys chew gum after their workout- me included. The issue is that this 60 year old guy is embarassing himself (at worst) or is annoying to most (at least) and I wanted a nice simple way to address it. I don't want to take a pot-shot to elevate myself, I don't want to be rude or insulting. I just want a snappy way to help him "check himself" ... simple as that.

    does that help?

    it's not "snapping" gum... it's open mouthed, wheezing breathing that happens because he's not minimizing his chewing to keep it a private matter- that's what's at issue.
     
  14. Phil Ayesho

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    Hey... YOU asked for feedback....

    And don't be so quick to congratulate yourself for not wanting to 'bullyrag' some 'older' guy.
    You have clearly expressed that what you want is to exert YOUR will on someone else.

    That is the crux of this little social dilema... someone is doing something you don't want them to do and you want advice on how to get your way by getting them to stop doing the thing they want to do.

    This Idea that if you find something personally offensive, or merely annoying, that you should not have to suffer it... is self centered. But, I guess I am old fashioned... I am behind the times regarding this new trend of elevating our minor annoyances to the status of societal demands infringing the freedoms of other.


    As to how I would handle it... no, I would not insult the guy, because I can steel my masculine resolve and manage to tolerate the unmitigated horror of gum smacking.

    ...That's just how tough a guy I am... I know a lot a guys can't take that kind of unrelenting agony... but , me, I just bear down and ENDURE...

    Of course, it helps if you've spent as many years as I have in those shithole saunas in 3rd world countries, where the sound of gum popping is so intense it can literally break bones.

    ...Or maybe, if a couldn't just tune it out... I would shift my sauna time by half an hour.
     
  15. ElectricBlue

    ElectricBlue New Member

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    Ask him what company he's chewing for.
     
  16. D_ShiaLeTubeSteak

    D_ShiaLeTubeSteak New Member

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    yet again we've pounced on the guy who needs help.

    I'd LOVE for anyone who can't side with him to be sat in a confined space for two hours with a gum chewer right next to you.

    Your not human if you can't see how irratating that is. Pussy? No. NORMAL.
     
  17. nashboy

    nashboy Active Member

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    honestly man i dont know what can be done about it. sounds like it could turn into something more annoying for you if you busted him.
     
  18. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Don't go in the sauna when he is there :)
     
  19. SpeedoMike

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    be happy he's not chewing tobacco instead of gum!! :biggrin1:
     
  20. str82fcuk

    str82fcuk Member

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    Of course this is the easiest way out but totally unsatisfactory.

    OP, you mentioned you weren't allowed to chew gum in grade school. What you could maybe do when he is being very loud is say "when I was in grade school chewing gum was forbidden!" and see if he responds. Hopefully you can get into a 'friendly' discussion on that topic that way. You could say it was forbidden because the noise was so distracting that the kids could not concentrate. Say how glad you are to be 'cured' of the habit. Ask him if it wasn't banned in his school. Try not to be too upset when you talk to him.

    I feel for you. This is a difficult problem. Often its not even chewing gum but just people making loud disgusting noises with their mouths or noses. Normally I just have to move away from such uncivilised or unhealthy people. Sucks.
     
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