how do i deal with this?

[naturistMale]

lots of posts for you to consider &
you've made your decision.
i wish you the best.
i wish her the best.
a grounded Man faces his pain (like you did) by bring this situation to the group.
and in this process, tears can be part of the expression of that pain. and a that's a "really well-grounded" Man...nobody will give you a medal for suffering anymore than you have already.
3 months from now, give us an update.
i know everyone wants the best for you Mate.

 

[TomCat84]

grandunification, there is a lot of good advice on here, so I'm not going to expand on any of the posts really...but you're getting mad when dudes are giving you their opinions. It isn't an issue of how girls act that will tell you how to respond to this chick. It's an issue of how you should respond to an addict. A few years ago I was VERY much into going out and partying and dancing and drinking. I met a dude who thought he could fix me. You might be that type- someone who thinks they can fix someone. That might be your addiction. But trust me bro- you can't help someone who won't help themselves. Offer her help- but if she refuses it, or doesn't make any progress, cut your losses and leave. I know you don't wanna face the pain, but life is about hard choices and broken hearts. Let yourself experience heartache now so that you don't experience a much more dragged-out version of it. We DO understand love, by the way, and we also understand the way it can blind some people to the truth that's right in their face...when everybody else sees that something is wrong but you can't. We can offer you all the advice we want, but it's 100% up to you what you do. Good luck!

 

[joeweekend]

Don't get involved with an alcoholic. You're not going to save her. She's got to save herself first. But once she does that, she's a different person. Move on.

 

[helgaleena]

Be her friend and when you do go out with her, don't go out for a drink! If she wants to go out for a drink, tell her you can't do it, can't even watch. It will be her choice what to do then. Both of you, be well.