How Do I Do This!

BarebottomTX

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I hope this is permitted. I made this post in another forum without much success. Here goes:

So I need some advice. I’m looking for a partner I can take a lot of first steps with. Trust me when I say I know what I want and I’m committed on finding it.

My problem is how? Where does an older chub bottom bear find someone? I have checked out a couple of apps like Grindr and Adam4Adam and there isn’t much in my age range that I find interesting. If I were 20+ years younger I’d probably be set. What I find are some flakes, creeps, and kids wanting a quickie.

I would welcome any advice etc.
 
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Brodie888

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There are a lot of bear and older specific apps out there. Different apps are better in different areas so I'd suggest using all of them then delete the ones that don't perform.

You'll probably find LGBTQ events that have bear sections. Clubs often have a bear event so it's just a matter of looking online. Facebook groups is another option. Just focus on making friends first then the rest should follow.
 
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Andrue

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Try an app like Scruff - there are likely others whose demographics are more in your wheelhouse.
Grindr is really iffy and full of youngsters out for a quickie.

But also look for more social situations in your local area, like bowling or baseball or cooking. Things that aren't specifically "all gay all the time*" but will attract other gay guys and start making friends. Even if none of those folks ring your bell - or you theirs - making friends widens your social circles and you could meet a friend of theirs who you end up matching with at some dinner party.

You know, the way people USED to meet up, before the apps all came around.

* Of course, if there ARE gay cooking or baseball groups in your area, that would be even better! The focus is still on baseball or making the perfect souflée and socializing, not on sex. It's a lot less pressure and you get to know the people before it goes much further. And you get to learn new dishes, to boot.
 

chancesare

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Avoid Grindr, it's for the young, thin guys. I am an older chub top, and although I don't have my pick of the litter, I find plenty of guys for fun. It takes time and realistic expectations. If you are looking for a muscular stud, the handsome daddy with great pecs, the dilf with a big dick . . . maybe you should be hiring.
 
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tito21

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I hope this is permitted. I made this post in another forum without much success. Here goes:

So I need some advice. I’m looking for a partner I can take a lot of first steps with. Trust me when I say I know what I want and I’m committed on finding it.

My problem is how? Where does an older chub bottom bear find someone? I have checked out a couple of apps like Grindr and Adam4Adam and there isn’t much in my age range that I find interesting. If I were 20+ years younger I’d probably be set. What I find are some flakes, creeps, and kids wanting a quickie.

I would welcome any advice etc.

Believe me, If you were 20+ years younger, you wouldn’t be set. Well, you may be set for a few years in a long term relationship/marriage until your partner trade you in for someone younger. That’s the reality for most gay folks.

My dinosaur ass couldn’t get a match on any gay dating apps, except for a few young guys/girls from Brazil, India + Philippine hitting me up looking for a green card. They must have thought that I would be desperate and would settle for anyone looking my way.

like the old saying, put yourself out there (after Covid) and put on a pair of kinky boots and hit the bear clubs + social events in your local area.
 
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9038421

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I hope this is permitted. I made this post in another forum without much success. Here goes:

So I need some advice. I’m looking for a partner I can take a lot of first steps with. Trust me when I say I know what I want and I’m committed on finding it.

My problem is how? Where does an older chub bottom bear find someone? I have checked out a couple of apps like Grindr and Adam4Adam and there isn’t much in my age range that I find interesting. If I were 20+ years younger I’d probably be set. What I find are some flakes, creeps, and kids wanting a quickie.

I would welcome any advice etc.
Never use Grindr, they don’t really do bears it’s jumped up twinks and jocks who like to believe they are the gays gift to the world. Best way is getting out there, I never found anything on the apps (apart from sex) I met my boyfriend at the gym nearly two years ago, got chatting and training together and hit it off. You won’t find love online, you’ve got to meet and it doesn’t happen like Love Island when in 2 weeks “I love you,” utter nonsense.

Join some local gay clubs, or gay groups and meet people. Online it’s all about looks, how you come across is different for everyone and what you say and do can be okay for someone and not for another.
 

cnkckfil

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Go to bigger city.com, growlr app and try silverdaddies as well. Also look for bear pride events. Think gay pride but for the "bear" community which does include cubs and chubs as well.