How do I find/meet other gay non-queeny/feminine guys?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Dennis Anyone, Mar 28, 2009.

  1. D_Dennis Anyone

    D_Dennis Anyone New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2008
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm just into those type of guys...the ones that act like "guys"

    But how can I find them if I can't tell that they are gay or bi?
    I mean I'm not really attracted to the girly type guys (not trying to sound mean, they just aren't my type)

    I'm gay...I like guys...not a guy who acts like a woman. (again it's just my taste)

    So yea any tips? How do I find them and how do I let them know I'm gay without giving them the sense that i'm looking for them? LOL

    Wow this must sound weird
     
  2. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2007
    Messages:
    2,031
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    The eternal question.
     
  3. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Messages:
    10,576
    Likes Received:
    25
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Warwick, NY, USA
    Leather.
     
  4. ActionBuddy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2006
    Messages:
    7,031
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,412
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle (WA, US)
    Ummm... Butch it up... and learn how to talk about sports and car engines?... lol.
     
  5. rytheguy

    rytheguy Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2005
    Messages:
    50
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Glendale/Flagstaff AZ
    same problem.... I can totally relate
     
  6. AZNEWGUY

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2009
    Messages:
    246
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Gilbert (AZ, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    I just look for them online. Try manhunt or craigslist or something similar. Just tell them you are only into masculine guys and they will find you. Have them call you before you meet to see if they are what you are looking for. Some guys say they are masculine and are not when you meet them.
     
  7. MarkLondon

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,986
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London, UK
    Bear bars? Truck stops (lol)? Locker rooms?
     
    #7 MarkLondon, Mar 28, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2009
  8. MarkLondon

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,986
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London, UK
    Sadly, Jason, all too often I've found leather men are over-compensating.
     
  9. uncutblond34

    uncutblond34 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2005
    Messages:
    471
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Knoxville, TN
    I've had the same problem meting masculine guys. I agree with MarkLondon, some leather guys are over the top with the butch thing. I'm a guy who can restore an old car and put on a dinner party the same evening.. and I like other guys who can do the same thing..LOL It'll be interesting to see what kinds of answers come up here..
     
  10. tornpickles

    tornpickles New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2008
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    I'm st8 but my guess would be....hmmm
    gay bars and look for the more manly bunch because I don't think many st8 guys would be there...
    the gym...if a guy is checking you out, in all the "private" places, maybe he's gay...
    If you notice any guy checking you out a whole lot, i mean not just looking at you a few times because maybe they think you they know you, but really checking you out, that's probably a clue

    I don't look at guys a whole bunch unless I like their clothes or shoes or something but even that's not a whole bunch of checking someone out...If they look a little disgusted because your checking the guy out, he's probably str8...a lot of st8 guys hate that and will look pissed or like WTF

    Hope that helps... I may be wrong on all my opinions but I'm just trying to help you out...
     
  11. MisterMark

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2002
    Messages:
    2,090
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Palm Springs, CA
    Place or respond to ads online. Seems to be lots of guys with girlfriends who want some male/male action on the side.

    Hang out with straight crowds and hope that one of the guys likes you. (This could be frustrating.)

    Go to a gym that attracts the kind of guys you're looking for.

    Admire "non-queeny" guys but accept that a lot of gay guys have some feminine qualities, so you might not get exactly what you want in a partner.
     
  12. hugecigarstud

    hugecigarstud New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2008
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    You will develop this ability as time goes on. I can spot a gay man with great accuracy - mostly by watching their eyes when they don't know I'm watching them. Gay men seem to scope out the room more often then straight men and there is often this "lingering" when our eyes meet where a ton of information is transferred between us.

    Most of all, just be confident in yourself and don't worry about it. You'll find guys when it's your "time" to find them. Be an attractive partner, physically and in your personality...that's all you can do.:wink:
     
  13. Awsome09

    Awsome09 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2009
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Damn Right!!! One of the worlds most eluded questions!!
     
  14. Lex

    Lex
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    Haha. Love bears--that being said, there are plenty feminine bears to be found as well (regardless of muscles or face fur).
     
  15. teutonicos

    teutonicos Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2008
    Messages:
    203
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    between Munich and Salzburg
    Don´t walk through the world with your eyes wide shut (lol),if you like someone look him into the eye,not on the bulge,and you´ll notice the way he looks at you.If he is interested maybe he´ll turn around.Smile when you like somebody,don´t be ashamed to show that you are interested.You have nothing to loose.-Good luck !
     
  16. Chase1600

    Chase1600 Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2005
    Messages:
    411
    Likes Received:
    7
    I’m here for you Mr. Insall, in all the way. Just kidding, kid, I’m an old codger and we need to find you a real man your age.

    They are there. When you are first coming out in may be hard to find. Mixed in with the fems in some bars and urber-butch posers in others are some regular guys.

    Is there a gay paper in San Antonio? Are there gay sports leagues? If so events might be reported in the gay paper and you could show. You might take to a gay baseball or football player. In some communities there are gay support groups, such as a gay community center. There might be outdoor groups organized under the umbrella of a gay community center – along with the support group for drag queens – just joking.

    Maybe there are groups of guys who bike, go on camping trips – if so, let me know, I’ll share a sleeping bag any day – maybe fishing, or whatever.

    In any case, they are there for sure. As someone else mentioned, refined your eye for them.
     
  17. BJ89

    BJ89 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2009
    Messages:
    61
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ecuador
    i use to ask myself this question alot when younger. but i figured out it was just me wanting to have masculine butch guys around so i could feel more masculine and "Straight acting" just so i could say i am not like those "queens" etc. etc. i got over myself and accepted who i am. i act girly and totally love shopping and drink fruity cocktails with lil umbrellas in them but i love sport! love playing sport even more and absolutely love HK Monaros. dream car. so would love to get one and do it up from scrap. or i'll settle for a transam ;)
     
  18. SlickWilly

    SlickWilly Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2006
    Messages:
    181
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Valencia, CA
    It's tough... even in L.A. Trying to meet someone and/or hook-up in a bar seems next to impossible any more. I work out 3x per week & several guys at a gay, clothing-optional resort (Palm Springs) told me I had a great body (I think it's so-so). But if I go out to a bar, I'm pretty invisible/ignored. No one seems to notice you if you're over 40 in West Hollywood... it's definitely youth-oriented & mostly populated by twinks. But I really don't want to deal with the bathhouse scene either... I agree with the comment about online hookups... am thinking of trying it myself.
     
  19. Dave NoCal

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,995
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    256
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sacramento (CA, US)
    If you are in San Antonio, as someone suggested, you may need to start hanging out in Austin. I sure would.
    Dave
     
Draft saved Draft deleted