I'm not really making any comment on the morality of the OP's desires, but what exactly makes one a deviant (that's how it's spelt btw) because one enjoys having sex with a married man?
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How do I find straight married guys who want a cock sucker??
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I'm not really making any comment on the morality of the OP's desires, but what exactly makes one a deviant (that's how it's spelt btw) because one enjoys having sex with a married man?
Evidently it's a myth that wives are the ones who stop married sex. Men just don't talk about it and refuse to talk to their wives about it or seek therapy to solve the problem.
And, here's the shocking truth. When couples totally stop being sexual, in over 90% of cases, it is the man's decision, made unilaterally and conveyed non-verbally.
Also, Sex-Starved Wives | Psychology Today
Why do men cheat? Well, evolutionary psychologists claim that men are just predisposed to it, and they have evidence. There's an entire article on how just being an attractive man is enough of a reason for cheating:
studies show that more attractive men have a larger number of extra-pair sex partners (sex partners other than their long-term mates).
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I'm presuming this is is in response to Phil's post right? Well sauce for the goose and all that with regards to threadjacking :tongue::wink:
Yup, I should have posted my response to Phil.
I was posting in response to this:
Which I don't disagree with, except for the last paragraph which I disagree totally with because I don't believe that lack of sex excuses cheating. You address that issue with your wife, you find a solution like opening up the marriage, or you seek a divorce. You solve the problem honestly. There's still no excuse for dishonesty and cheating.
But then RedDude brought up the myth that lots of wives are denying their husbands sex, driving them to cheat, so I responded to that. While it's a popular subject for comedians and TV comedies, actual statistics reveal exactly the opposite is true.
I was posting in response to this:
Which I don't disagree with, except for the last paragraph which I disagree totally with because I don't believe that lack of sex excuses cheating. You address that issue with your wife, you find a solution like opening up the marriage, or you seek a divorce. You solve the problem honestly. There's still no excuse for dishonesty and cheating.
But then RedDude brought up the myth that lots of wives are denying their husbands sex, driving them to cheat, so I responded to that. While it's a popular subject for comedians and TV comedies, actual statistics reveal exactly the opposite is true.
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Yeah well as I pointed out to Phil a new thread about the morality, psychology etc of cheating might well be in order and indeed might be very interesting. Unfortunately I'm not sure this thread is that thread :wink:
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Sorry, you posted your post up above while I was still writing mine! I didn't see it! The last one I saw was AE's post!
I believe this. I believe that an attractive woman, no doubt getting hit on, might have better reason to not get involved and have been raised and socialized with better defenses to resist philandering men.
I believe men, who can not get pregnant, may be careless about the consequences and may have been raised and socialized with lots of myths about proving one’s virility.
When the conversation turns as has this to calling married men who let gay guys blow them straight or not, remember that there’s obviously no risk of pregnancy and truth be told not much risk getting a disease by getting blown.
In other words, some married guys might think it's a freebie.
It’s pointless to discuss whether married guys who let guys suck them should be called straight. My hunch is that the population of married men who do this contains a spectrum of very different and mostly unrelated dynamics.
Some married men really are gay. They marry and live hidden lives. They might be among the most likely to act out by visiting book stores and arcades which are active during the work day and very anonymous. Most likely these guys see themselves as gay and then lie about it.
Some married men may remember satisfying experiences as adolescents or young men, getting serviced by their buddies, maybe gay or not, or the neighborhood “perv.” The familiarity with the experience makes it easy. They don’t see it as their being gay, they see it as conventional that “straight” guys can get serviced by a fag. It is these guys who might be most attuned to the notion that gay blow jobs are the best.
Some married guys are a variation; they had buddies with whom them messed around and it continues, often with the same guy or guys, or because things fall apart they seek out a replacement. Some of these guys might self identify as being bi, but mostly, I bet they identify as straight and compartmentalize the "stuff guys do."
To the extent that a married guy who identifies as straight keeps the “cock sucker he uses” at a social distance, he may not cross the barrier to identifying as bi. That can be why he doesn’t want to call and “make a date.” Just showing up to get serviced – while rude – maintains a barrier he needs. Glory holes maintain a barrier. Anonymous sex, meaning no exchange of names or personal information, maintains a barrier. I think the married guys who maintain the most barriers are the least likely to see themselves as bi much less gay.
If someone lets the office fag blow him, I think the barrier is broken. Even if he is married and even if the “fag” is subservient in the office, it’s hard to maintain the 100% self image when you have to have some social interaction with this person other than unzipping.
When the OP raised this issue, I took it that he wanted to play the role of “anonymous fag” or the “cock sucker that is used” or something like that. After it happened, I took it the experience was demeaning. Besides, the way he set it up exasperates his awareness of a wife who is being cheated on.
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Wrong. About 10% of the population say they have had more sexual experience(s) with a member of the same sex than with the opposite sex. That is not the same as 10% being out and out gay. And even if it were, the 10% you are attempting to refer to are not all male.
I looked this up and I'm about right - the data is old and I'm a little off - but not as off as Phil - How many gay people are there?. Kinsey's subjects in the 50s show that more than a third of the population have had a homosexual encounter of some kind - even with the time difference and difference in attitudes now the likelihood of that equating to 80% of the male population being occasional and practising bisexuals is as damn near 0 as makes no odds.
The data for Britain is a bit clearer because of the smaller population and even there is it quite clear nowhere near 10% identify as exclusively homosexual. I would say American and Britain would be roughly equivalent - parts of America would have a far higher gay and bi population than others.
Sorry to wander off topic - but the 'simple maths' is based on 9 parts supposition, 1 part bullshit.
scottredleter
Sexy Member
Yeah, as a gay man, I really don't get it, but I'll tell you that craigslist is full of guys claiming to be straight married men who want to get with other guys. If I hook up with someone for sex, I don't really want to know if they claim to be straight or if they are married... I feel like that is their business. I don't get what the turn on is. A part of me thinks that some guys think that a married guy os less likely to be hiv + ... of course if he's out there having sex with other guys, that just isn't the case...
andrew999999999
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I joined a a couple of gay sites (manhunt.org and adam4adam.com) and looked for guys on there. I also joined a gay sauna, so when I'm in the mood for some fun with men I go there.
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I see it not so much a turn on as a "guarantee" the guy won't be buying me drinks at the bar, sending me numerous texts, asking me to dinner and a movie thinking he is becoming a bf. They know the score and like the arrangement. Nothing more.
B_subgirrl
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Phil Ayesho
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Wrong... self reportage varies with the anonymity of the poll.
Kinsey- who conducted the largest and longest survey, with the greatest level of anonymity, found that 30% of adult males have had at least one homosexual experience in their lives, ranging from involuntary molestation's, to voluntary experimentations, all the way to full on secret homosexual affairs.
And that is only the men who would admit to it. Any decent behavioral researcher will tell you that the 30% figure of actual admission to such acts, when factored with the social opprobrium toward such acts, probably reflects a true figure greater than 40%.
They will also tell you that for every person who indulges in a taboo sexual activity, there is probably another person who thinks about it, but does not indulge it for lack of opportunity, or fear of discovery.
And sorry, but the evidence of history and nature, is the most telling.
Cultures that predate judeo-christian homophobia reflect a much greater comfort with the idea of male to male sexual "play", as opposed to mating for the purpose of progeny and inheritance.
Near relatives, both chimps and gorillas, have been shown to engage in homosexual activity... but almost never Exclusively... indicating a clear bias toward "bi" orientation where homosexual contact is an outlet of convenience or camaraderie that does not stop the same individuals from mating with females.
Deny it all you want... but take an informal poll of the membership on this very site.
What percentage lists 100 percent either way, versus what percentage lists some bisexual admixture of interest?
Anthropologists understand that what a culture SAYS about itself is always a lie.
Human male sexuality is predominately hetero-preferring Bi.
If you want to argue against that, where is your argument?
First of all you rage dump about your ex-wife, then you drag this off in to discussions about Kinsey's findings on male sexuality.
Stop threadjacking, and if you want to dicuss whatever the hell you want to discuss then do so in an appropriate thread or start a new one. Is that clear Phil?
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B_RedDude
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I wasn't really referring to ongoing, outright denial of sex, but more to the idea of using sex as sort of a quid pro quo. I don't mean explicitly, necessarily, just as a general relationship negotiation tool.
I tried to indicate the distinction by editing the post text I was quoting in the quote box.
Working late one night, I heard my boss on a phone call with his wife. Afterward I said to him, "You married guys sure do have to jump through a lot of hoops to get a little pussy." His reply was, "Story of my life". This type of thing is really what I was referring to.
I tried to indicate the distinction by editing the post text I was quoting in the quote box.
Working late one night, I heard my boss on a phone call with his wife. Afterward I said to him, "You married guys sure do have to jump through a lot of hoops to get a little pussy." His reply was, "Story of my life". This type of thing is really what I was referring to.
D_Phil_R_Upp
Expert Member
Reading through this whole thread.....Chase1600, thank you for your response. Didn't want to quote it due to length but it was very thoughtful.
I think there's a few things that have really hit a nerve here. The subject of monogamy and cheating (as mentioned above that's probably a whole thread of its own) for one.
I also think it's a matter of identification. We all self-identify, but I see men on sites like Craigslist who identify as straight and yet are always posting for male partners. It's complex.....we don't all fit into clean little compartments.
A significant number of my play mates over the last decade have identified as straight. However, we keep it safe for the most part (you can't get much safer than just watching). And most of the men I've met are honest with their partners or wives and have an open relationship. I asked for what I was looking for online (again, usually Craigslist) and was as open and honest about my wants and expectations as possible. I want to be with a grown ass man who owns his own behavior and takes responsibility for his actions, whatever those actions may be.
That all having been said, I totally get when str8 men are frustrated with the advances of a gay man, or feel frustrated at an ad posted like that. It must be especially frustrating on the Web, where the number of replies from guys probably outnumber women 10 to 1.
I think there's a few things that have really hit a nerve here. The subject of monogamy and cheating (as mentioned above that's probably a whole thread of its own) for one.
I also think it's a matter of identification. We all self-identify, but I see men on sites like Craigslist who identify as straight and yet are always posting for male partners. It's complex.....we don't all fit into clean little compartments.
A significant number of my play mates over the last decade have identified as straight. However, we keep it safe for the most part (you can't get much safer than just watching). And most of the men I've met are honest with their partners or wives and have an open relationship. I asked for what I was looking for online (again, usually Craigslist) and was as open and honest about my wants and expectations as possible. I want to be with a grown ass man who owns his own behavior and takes responsibility for his actions, whatever those actions may be.
That all having been said, I totally get when str8 men are frustrated with the advances of a gay man, or feel frustrated at an ad posted like that. It must be especially frustrating on the Web, where the number of replies from guys probably outnumber women 10 to 1.
You must to search older men, many wives lose interest in sex, they are more discreet have experience, and want no more involvement, it is an easy way to solve their needs in sex.
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