How do i get rid of my kink?

[nailz]

I never understood this, from the woman's perspective. Like, what do you get out of it? How do you know when you're done if there's no climax?

My harness is designed with a second dildo going inwards, which doesn't just feel fantastic but also holds things firmly in place. Even with a typical harness the base of the dildo is like right over my clit and slamming into it with every stroke so there's no lack of stimulation on my end
Then there's the mental aspect of being the dominant one, with the guy in a very submissive position being penetrated for a change

I'm not going to go into details, but there's definitely a climax from his end too

 

[Heat]

I think getting a therapist who can help you understand the root of your fetish is a good start. It's connected to something in your head -- both of them. Understanding it's connection will probably not rid you of the want for it, but it might give you the tools for managing it in regards to maintaining a healthy relationship.
And if this relationship doesn't work out, for whatever reason: I strongly suggest that you find a compatible mate from the get-go. It will save you a lot of struggles down the road, as I suspect you are learning.

 

[amazzzed2]

My harness is designed with a second dildo going inwards, which doesn't just feel fantastic but also holds things firmly in place. Even with a typical harness the base of the dildo is like right over my clit and slamming into it with every stroke so there's no lack of stimulation on my end
Then there's the mental aspect of being the dominant one, with the guy in a very submissive position being penetrated for a change

I'm not going to go into details, but there's definitely a climax from his end too

Thank you. I had wondered the same thing. Very interesting and educational.

 

[malakos]

I'd recommend seeing a therapist. No, I'm not saying you're disordered. But psychotherapists can help with all sorts of maladaptive thought patterns, even those that can't rightly be called pathological.

 

[buzzrider7]

I also suggest going the route of therapy to help you uncover what is behind it. It is standard belief in psychodynamic theory, mainly starting with ideas on the subject by Freud, who gave a tongue-and-cheek lecture on it about 100 years ago (http://chnm.gmu.edu/courses/honors130/freud3.html), that kinky behavior almost always stems from unresolved issues and/or trauma in childhood, often having to do with one's parents. Sometimes these issues can seem so minor to us now that they are all but hidden. Doing work in therapy can help uncover what is driving your kink, which is likely substituting as a stand-in for a deeper desire you are not aware of. Once you address the deeper issue, your kink is likely to either disappear completely or at least lose a lot of its grip on you. I have experienced this myself. Interestingly, I wrote about this for a psychodynamics class, stating that most people might actually not want to resolve these childhood issues because they enjoy their kink and want to hang onto it. Clearly not the case for you. Good luck!

 

[GorillaHorse]

Getting off LPSG would probably be the first step.

 

[purplepumpkineater]

Thanks for the super feedback guys, even the hijack (I'm a fan of being pegged too, ha!).

Life has been super busy but I might look at going to a therapist next year.

In the mean time something interesting happened. Last night in bed my girlfriend told me about a guy she used to fuck in between boyfriends. Apparently they've been messaging recently and she told him I would love a threesome. So he's being messaging her ever since, asking to fuck her, asking her when she's going to give me a threesome for Christmas. And, yes, apparently he has a big dick, ha.

She fell asleep but I got rock hard thinking about it and woke her up fucking her (which she loves). This was our first sex in ages. I stayed hard as a rock all night and I was still hard having a shower this morning. On one hand this was reassuring because I was starting to get worrier that something was wrong with my plumbing, but on the other hand it just confirms how powerful this fucking idea in my head is.

So who knows where this will go. The problem is I think she probably mentioned it out of desperation to get some dick (from me). Deep down what she really wants is some passionate but vanilla sex. But, it's opened a little discussion, so we'll see. I'm not going to push it. She may be more comfortable fucking him by herself, which is fine with me. At least that would break the ice.

 

[twoton]

I wish you all the best.

 

[ronin001]

Your Kink, is not all that unusual to hear about, Some relationships thrive on the excitement , while others have a great deal of discontent, once the fantasy becomes reality. Many men / women find out that their Egos, are not as strong as they would imaging they would be

Good luck

 

[Phil Ayesho]

Pegging. He ain't having it. So, I keep that one in the ol' noggin.

omg--- as if i needed yet another reason to be fantasizing about a woman i can't have...



myself... i don't care what wild kink my woman might toss up... if it gets HER going.... then that is going to get Me going.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

to the OP
you don't have to DO it to indulge it.

Maybe if she just TALKS about making you watch her fun some big cocked fella during sex that would suffice... dirty talking doesn't have to turn into actual doing.


otherwise- its an idea in your head--- just start practicing jerking off to OTHER fantasies and give that one a rest.
better yet- find out what HER fantasies are, and start practicing thinking about what drives her wild.

Generally, I find whatever thing gets the woman in my arms to react the strongest always ends up being the thing that I react to as well, because HER excitement is what drives me.

 

[purplepumpkineater]

Maybe if she just TALKS about making you watch her fun some big cocked fella during sex that would suffice... dirty talking doesn't have to turn into actual doing.

Agreed. We've dabbled a tiny bit in dirty talk of this nature, but something holds her back. Either it turns her off or she's worried about something. And the something—based on previous relationships—is usually a fear that it's a way to surreptitiously turn our relationship into an open one so I can go fuck other women; which is not the idea at all. Very difficult to communicate this though. Most women (and men) just don't get it.

Generally, I find whatever thing gets the woman in my arms to react the strongest always ends up being the thing that I react to as well, because HER excitement is what drives me.

Indeed, which is why none of this turns me on unless I know it's turning her on.

 

[purplepumpkineater]

Well I have some great news.

I’d well and truly lost my mojo. My girlfriend’s been getting super frustrated. She’s been super patient but also encouraged me to see the doctor about it, it’s been that bad.

Then I went away this weekend without her for the first time. She had the weekend to herself and was planning to go out with some girlfriends. She messaged me to say she’d been to a yoga class in the morning and was super horny because the yoga instructor was really hot and they’d been flirting after the class. She said she was at her wits end and asked me if I would mind if they had sex, adding that she wouldn’t bring him home to our bed.

No prizes for guessing my response. I even told her I’d prefer if she actually bought him home. But for whatever reason that didn’t end up happening.

Then on her last night alone she messaged me to ask if I’d mind if she had sex her ex boyfriend. She explained that she’d told him about the situation, that I had this kink but that we hadn’t had sex for a long time. And he agreed to come sort her out. Of course I said.

So her ex, quite a bit younger than me, came over and fucked her brains out in our bed, smoked a joint together (she doesn’t usually smoke), then gave her a full body massage.

She’s tired but really happy and, whatta you know, I have my mojo back. I’ve been getting hardons all day and can’t wait to eat her out, fuck her and fall asleep together. So fucking weird. But might just be salvation of our relationship!

 

[purplepumpkineater]

She’s gone to work and told me to change the bed linen when I get home. I think she could be quite good at this, haha.

 

[marriedasian]

if the cuckold relationship works for you then i'm more than happy for you. being able to find and accept yourself for who you are is a rare gift indeed. the only caveat is to make 110% sure that this is what you want and who you are as some things are a one-way street and there's no going back.

who knows, she may be the one to give you want you need. in the past few weeks, i've had the chance to meet a couple who has a live-in bull and the husband is very happy with the relationship and the situation at home. husband is truly happy, wife is happy, and bull is happy to serve. husband and wife has a little boy and bull helps around the house too. again... if it works, roll with it and accept all consequences from it.

 

[Itsmeandyou]

Whatever works....... DO IT !

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

Well I have some great news.

I’d well and truly lost my mojo. My girlfriend’s been getting super frustrated. She’s been super patient but also encouraged me to see the doctor about it, it’s been that bad.

Then I went away this weekend without her for the first time. She had the weekend to herself and was planning to go out with some girlfriends. She messaged me to say she’d been to a yoga class in the morning and was super horny because the yoga instructor was really hot and they’d been flirting after the class. She said she was at her wits end and asked me if I would mind if they had sex, adding that she wouldn’t bring him home to our bed.

No prizes for guessing my response. I even told her I’d prefer if she actually bought him home. But for whatever reason that didn’t end up happening.

Then on her last night alone she messaged me to ask if I’d mind if she had sex her ex boyfriend. She explained that she’d told him about the situation, that I had this kink but that we hadn’t had sex for a long time. And he agreed to come sort her out. Of course I said.

So her ex, quite a bit younger than me, came over and fucked her brains out in our bed, smoked a joint together (she doesn’t usually smoke), then gave her a full body massage.

She’s tired but really happy and, whatta you know, I have my mojo back. I’ve been getting hardons all day and can’t wait to eat her out, fuck her and fall asleep together. So fucking weird. But might just be salvation of our relationship!

Is it just me, or does it seem odd that you two haven't been having sex, but she tells you she's at her wit's end when you aren't there for a few days? How is it different for her than when you're there and not giving her sex?

Keep in mind that she might just be test-driving her next boyfriend. I've seen these situations turn that way often enough when one of the couple isn't into the swinging or cuckolding scene.

Play safe.

 

[Itsmeandyou]

Nailz perspective seems like it is the BEST of BOTH worlds for EVERONE.

 

[amazzzed2]

Well I have some great news.

I’d well and truly lost my mojo. My girlfriend’s been getting super frustrated. She’s been super patient but also encouraged me to see the doctor about it, it’s been that bad.

Then I went away this weekend without her for the first time. She had the weekend to herself and was planning to go out with some girlfriends. She messaged me to say she’d been to a yoga class in the morning and was super horny because the yoga instructor was really hot and they’d been flirting after the class. She said she was at her wits end and asked me if I would mind if they had sex, adding that she wouldn’t bring him home to our bed.

No prizes for guessing my response. I even told her I’d prefer if she actually bought him home. But for whatever reason that didn’t end up happening.

Then on her last night alone she messaged me to ask if I’d mind if she had sex her ex boyfriend. She explained that she’d told him about the situation, that I had this kink but that we hadn’t had sex for a long time. And he agreed to come sort her out. Of course I said.

So her ex, quite a bit younger than me, came over and fucked her brains out in our bed, smoked a joint together (she doesn’t usually smoke), then gave her a full body massage.

She’s tired but really happy and, whatta you know, I have my mojo back. I’ve been getting hardons all day and can’t wait to eat her out, fuck her and fall asleep together. So fucking weird. But might just be salvation of our relationship!

So I realize that this is almost a year later, but I'm very interested in how all of this worked out for you?