How do I get talk to women?

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903371

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I am a 23 year old virigin and couldn't talk to a woman if my life depended on it. Can someone help me?
 
L

likespineapple

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Say hi to them.

Ask them what their interests are.

Do they like to knit?

Do they play any sports?

Are they in school?

What do they do for work?

What's their favorite fruit?

Do they like pineapple?
 
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9

903371

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Not at all, doesn't matter if I am interested in or not. I cannot initiate a conversation with them.
 

Jsamine

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Nothing turns a woman off more than a man who has no self confidence . Grow a pair and start talking to girls. You're gonna get some no's before you get a yes. When you get a yes pretend you're George Clooney and make your move !

xoxo
 
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903371

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When i do initiate a conversation it becomes the most awkward ting ever and just abandon it quickly
 

lovinglife

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When i do initiate a conversation it becomes the most awkward ting ever and just abandon it quickly
So it happens with men too? If yes, you just need to brush up on conversation in general. Start with a topic that you find interesting and just talk. Be enthusiastic about it and usually conversation will flow from there.

If it is just with women, keep in mind that a woman is just another person.
 

MisterVIP

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Two words: HAN SOLO.

Be like that and you're set. Why? Because Han Solo doesn't give a crap what people think about him, he's just himself.

If being yourself isn't good enough for you, ask yourself why and fix it.

Women are just people. You have to understand this first. Don't talk to them like they're better than you because they'll sense you don't value yourself and if you don't value you, then why should they value you?

Relax, don't try too hard, and know that "no" isn't the end of the world, it's just a step closer to a potential "yes". If someone doesn't want to spend time with you, you don't want to spend time with them anyway.

The difference between a confident guy and a non-confident guy is that a confident guy will get "no" a bunch of times and not be fazed by it and just move on to a "yes".

If you have a sense of humor at all, let that shine through.

Etc.
 

LaFemme

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If you can't talk to us at all, then start small. Really small. Say "thank-you" to the cashier when she gives you your change and make eye contact. Work up to smiling at the same time. Do the same with servers at restaurants when they hand you the menu. Male, female, young or old. Smile and say, "thank-you".

When you're heading into the mall at same time as a few other people, hold the door open and say, "you first!" Smile. No pressure to make conversation. Just get use to saying a couple of words to strangers.

When you feel comfortable doing that, you can comment on a book someone might be buying. Perhaps you know the author and can say, "oh, I love that guy's stuff!"

Women are people. Some of us think we are pretty hot stuff, but if you just keep things simple, friendly and light, you'll be surprised at how easy some of are to talk to. But I do recommend just starting really small and not putting too much pressure on yourself.
 

wahtwhat

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If you can't talk to us at all, then start small. Really small. Say "thank-you" to the cashier when she gives you your change and make eye contact. Work up to smiling at the same time. Do the same with servers at restaurants when they hand you the menu. Male, female, young or old. Smile and say, "thank-you".

When you're heading into the mall at same time as a few other people, hold the door open and say, "you first!" Smile. No pressure to make conversation. Just get use to saying a couple of words to strangers.

When you feel comfortable doing that, you can comment on a book someone might be buying. Perhaps you know the author and can say, "oh, I love that guy's stuff!"

Women are people. Some of us think we are pretty hot stuff, but if you just keep things simple, friendly and light, you'll be surprised at how easy some of are to talk to. But I do recommend just starting really small and not putting too much pressure on yourself.

exactly this ^^ just start by what she said :)
 

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Cultivate ways to encourage social interaction. Do something a bit off the wall- don't be afraid to go to regular social events. Try something like Jive dancing (look for Ceroc, mojive, le Roc dancing)- weekly events with instruction for beginners- there's usually always more women than men, and they love dancing. Even spinning classes. Just be reliable, pleasant, nice and trustworthy. Throw in a little humour, get to know their names as you become recognised- don't even think of making approaches to begin with. Tell yourself everybody feels social anxiety, everybody else in the room is not in a group that doesn't include you. Just talk, be nice, don't hassle, and slowly get to know people. It's easier than you think. Just like exercising, but the muscle you have to exercise is social interaction, take it slowly, build it up, take cues from people, don't blurt stupid things out, don't make out of the blue rude approaches, just practice practice practice social interaction with easy chat. Dance classes is a great way to meet girls, have a laugh- remember they will be beginners too!
Whatever you do, do NOT mope at home, wondering why you can't mingle socially. Get out there in the evenings, wait tables, work in a cinema, join clubs, societies, volunteer work with animals whatever, but force yourself out there in your new persona- someone pleasant and nice and respectful and slightly funny, but don't be a clown. Take it gently.
 
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tumasch

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LaFemme said it all, actually. The most important thing is not to put yourself under any pressure. Love (and lovemaking) happens naturally. Believe me, I was in the same situation as you when I was your age. And I always wondered why. Then suddenly, I was 24, I got to know a woman and was blown away... :)
 

KindlyJedi

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Two words: HAN SOLO.

Be like that and you're set. Why? Because Han Solo doesn't give a crap what people think about him, he's just himself.

If being yourself isn't good enough for you, ask yourself why and fix it.

Women are just people. You have to understand this first. Don't talk to them like they're better than you because they'll sense you don't value yourself and if you don't value you, then why should they value you?

Relax, don't try too hard, and know that "no" isn't the end of the world, it's just a step closer to a potential "yes". If someone doesn't want to spend time with you, you don't want to spend time with them anyway.

The difference between a confident guy and a non-confident guy is that a confident guy will get "no" a bunch of times and not be fazed by it and just move on to a "yes".

If you have a sense of humor at all, let that shine through.

Etc.

LOL! Yeah...be like Han Solo: shoot first! ;)
 
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185248

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If there were one thing I could change about my younger years it would be this, your post says it all, young bloke, apprehensive approaching the opposite sex.

Women of your age are apprehensive too, believe it or not :) There is always the lame approach, like drop a bunch of keys in front of the woman you be watching, fake looking through them until she asks what the hell you are doing. Lame answer is to say you are trying to find the key to her heart....:) :)

It's never easy to take the first step at a young age. If a woman catches your eye in a crowd..

1) She was meant to catch your eye

2) Don't let it go by, because you will probably think about it for a long time after.

3) Never let a chance go by...............which reminds me.........Bob Hudson - New Castle Song (1975) - YouTube

Old song, but it still rings true...to some extent, when a woman chats back it's like...oh my god...:

Other than that, smoke a pipe in a night club, filled with legal spirit sweetened tobacco mind you. Worked for me in the '70's, cause no-one else did it. :) :) Do your own thing and be yourself. Be a man.
 
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Astro

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'Smoke a pipe in a night club'? You'll be turfed out on your ear outside Queensland now! He must socially interact at every opportunity. Forget seduction for now, interact! As previous post, go to martial arts classes, go jive dancing classes, go nightschool, do whatever, but don't be a shrinking violet! Don't overdo it so people are scared to get 'caught' by you. Take a genuine interest in others (politely). Ask how people are, ask about their martial arts/dance injuries/recent illness etc. It has been reported no girl ever said afterwards 'he was so boring- I talked about myself for 30 minutes non-stop!' Ask advice, don't overstay your welcome, have a little laugh with people.

The battle of the sexes involves fighting on many fronts. Get your clothes off and look in a full length mirror- what do you see? Flab? Lose it. Facial metal, weird Marilyn Manson hairstyles? Lose them. The US seems to be the last bastion in the world of 'mullet' hairstyles (though Germany doesn't do so bad), lose it! Check your clothes- are they clean and reasonably in fashion, nothing weird? Are you squeaky clean when you go out? No smell? Then you're fit to interact. Be nice, be pleasant , be trustworthy, no jokes, don't be a comedian, let the girl chose you if she wants, but do not chase yet- just be someone nice to know. But don't get your hooks into anyone or overstay your welcome.

But as I said before, whatever you do, don't mope inside. If you're building a house, it doesn't build itself, get out there and lay the bricks! Grumbling the house isn't getting built when you're taking time out.......not useful! You can do it- that is all socialising is! And keep the language squeaky clean too! Get control of your life- you are young, don't waste it!

BTW, I done quite a lot of jive dancing and I'm back into it. Apart from being wild fun, normally if you grab a woman by the waist you'll get hammered, but do it in jive and she's giggling. Every larger village hall and public room in the UK seems to run weekly le Roc classes, they must run elsewhere. Modern Jive, hordes of women (who are as bad as you)- makes for a fun evening.
 
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