How Do I Get this Guy to Stop Staring At My Crotch!

[B_HallWildcat]

First off I want to mention that this is a legitimate concern, not me exaggerating a situation to evoke a discussion that is sexually appealing to me (I have noticed that theme on a thread or two here), If anyone has any advise or similar experiences please help

Hey, I have a question/vent/opinion, I don't know, but the bottom line is that recently I have been experiencing situations that I just don't know how to handle. I work in an office and work closely with a core team many of whom are very conservative and most are guys (they are all straight too, not that it matters to me either way).
Anyways, recently I have been sitting around the table discussing whatever business is the subject and I have been noticing that some of the guys are starting to stare at my crotch! I usually am wearing jeans and when I sit down they ride up and tighten round the crotch, like every other person, but apparently it is creating a large bulge or something because I have been getting all these stares recently, but not from women!

Mainly there is this one guy, and he is very weird to me, he is the really conservative, but tries to come off like he is sexually skilled, and he just got married (he is 20 yrs old), he is just awkward. Recently I have noticed that I have been getting a lot more stares in the crotch from guys, mainly that one guy, (and he is definitely not gay, this I promise you), and it makes me very uncomfortable, I am straight and very much in love with my beautiful girlfriend, and don't know what to say to these guy(s) when I catch them staring. I don't act all embarrassed when I catch them, but just continue on naturally.

Basically, I don't know what to do, it makes me very uncomfortable when I am in a discussion and I know that some of the guys (mainly that one) is probably staring at my crotch. It wierds me out so much that I try not to look him in the eye because I don't want to pan over to him and catch him staring, so I just look away. It has been making me so uncomfortable that it's actually bothering me now. It's not like I am wearing tight fitting jeans or clothes that flaunt my junk, he just keeps staring.! I don't know what to do, just try to let it go, or should I talk to him, and if I do, what do I say, I will be working with this guy again for the next year.

 

[Mattness]

If it really bothers you, then say something to him! Embarrasing him will make him stop doing something that makes you uncomfortable. If he was tapping his foot during a meeting, or not looking you in the eye when you were talking to him, or something of that nature, you'd say something, right?

Say something like, "Bob, I'm very uncomfortable with something that you're doing, and you'd want me to say something about it to make our working environment better, right? Well, I notice that you're looking at certain parts of my body a lot when I'm sitting and it's making me uncomfortable."

If he has to ask WHERE, then maybe he doesn't know he's doing it and you can tell him. If he says, "I'm sorry, it won't happen again!" then you don't have to spell it for him.

I have to admit, I've been VERY attracted to some guys, especially ones with visible penis lines and I haven't been able to take my eyes off their crotches when I was working with them. It's a terrible thing that I'm sure makes them uncomfy, but it's difficult to stop! If they said that it was making them uncomfy, I most certainly would try my hardest (excuse the pun) to stop.

Good luck!

 

[invisibleman]

Wear unflattering pants.

 

[smoothrnb]

I agree...If his staring bothers you so much, ask him to stop. Most guys will understand that staring is not welcome and will cease doing it. Just realize that he may not realize this makes you so uncomfortable.

 

[STYLYUNG]

Wear trousers with pleats and in the relaxed style of your size. They are available in work pants. Otherwise, stay with your present jeans but switch to boxer shorts and give the weirdo a real show. Maybe, when he knows what is in there, he will quit his gauking.

 

[fratpack]

It does seem odd that you catch only the guys staring.
I would say make absolutely sure you're right that he is staring. Maybe change seats and sit next to him so he can't really check you out. Wear different types of pants.
Calling somebody out like that in the work place, you really have to be certain of what is going on.

Good luck.

 

[B_HallWildcat]

I appreciate your advise, but I am not going to switch the pants I am wearing, the jeans I am wearing are not tight fitting, or crotch flattering, it would happen with just about any pair of pants that fits me, to wear pants that would remedy this problem they would have to be so big and baggy it would be unprofessional, and too hot, and I already do wear boxers, but I am not sure if my underwear makes a big difference, does it?

As far as addressing him directly about it, I am very cautious to do so, first off, he is in a position above me. second, he is just about the last guy on the planet to ever admit when he is at fault, or made a mistake. Thirdly, when would I bring this up, in a meeting? If I did that wouldn't that just be making a bigger deal about it than it really is, I can just see associates around the office saying, "oh yeah, did you hear about so and so, he got called out in a meeting for staring at that guys crotch" which would just start more drama in an already gossipy office environment. I would talk to him about it in private, but I think that would just be too akward. I don't know.

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

If you can't commit to getting him to stop looking, then maybe you need to stop paying attention to it. Keep your distance around the guy. Keep all conversations related strictly to work; otherwise, leave him be. I would say, get flattered that your cock is getting attention, but you're too self-conscious to let that slide.

 

[D_Gallely Greenweeny]

i would say just dont show a bulge. simply adjust your slacks once you sit down that way there is no bulge and no staring

 

[vegasbill]

Cat:

I've noticed that the 20 something guys seem to check out guys junk alot more than others... not sure why this is, maybe because Gay and Bi-sexuality is more acceptable now.

Because I'm Bi, I don't mind the looks. I even notice some of the 20-25 y/o women checking me out.

Personally, and this is just me, I would NOT SAY A WORD. This is afterall your job. And if you are correct, the guy might try to say that you "approached him in a sexual manner" and that is all you need in todays workplace for a reprimand or having to attend a sexual harrassment lecture.

And God Help you if you are wrong.

Leave it alone, be flattered that the guy thinks you are hot. You need not be insecure about your sexuality, you know what you are, and all the stares in the world will not change that one bit.

 

[dreamer20]

...and when I sit down they ride up and tighten round the crotch,...apparently creating a large bulge or something because I have been getting all these stares recently...

Mainly there is this one guy, and he is very weird to me, he is the really conservative, but tries to come off like he is sexually skilled, and he just got married (he is 20 yrs old), he is just awkward.

It weirds me out so much that I try not to look him in the eye because I don't want to pan over to him and catch him staring, so I just look away.

HallWildcat as this person, who I will refer to as Bill, is in a position above you I would recommend handling this situation cautiously. You claim that he comes off as being "sexually skilled." Does that mean he has been discussing his bedroom antics with you? Is he a person who is just awkward on the whole in his dealings with the staff? You are going to be working with him for a long time. Do the two of you have a good rapport? If so this is what I suggest.
Arrange to have a chat with him somewhere, perhaps over a drink, to talk about this thing that is bothering you. But pose the question as an observation first. e.g. I noticed that some people in the office have been staring at my crotch at times. Have you noticed that too? I find it quite strange. I noticed you doing it too. Maybe it's spring fever. Hah! Hah! Then you can change the subject. You would've managed to get the situation out in the open in an amusing way as opposed to appearing paranoid about a few looks from the office staff. I hope that that will put you at ease. And this should amuse you:


6

 

[CUBE]

That is one way guys...the other way would be say, "You like that...you should see it out from behind these tights pants..lets go baby..you know you want it." Then gesture for him to lower himself. That fucker won't even come to work the next day. YES! NO... seriously, my first thought when I read this was how do you end up sitting so much with your waist exposed. I'm always sitting...in my office...restaraunt...business meeting...behind a table. I wouldn't say anything to anyone...just change your sitting posture maybe. Cheers

 

[muscleboy9]

Show and Tell in the Meeting Room

"Several of you have been staring at my crotch during these meetings."

There is something inside my jeans that you want to see, so today we are going to have Show and Tell."

"Then you can stop staring at my crotch, and we can all get on with more important business." :smile:

 

[chicagosam]

Walk over to him when he is sitting down, drop your pants and say "would you like a better view?"

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

Some of these suggestions are obviously not meant seriously, some of them would make your position at work more uncomfortable. Maybe the guys aren't aware they're doing it, it could be an unconscious 'checking out the competition' thing as you assert they're all straight. Women wouldn't do it in the work place because we're more aware of when we're checking out a guy's package.
Next time you catch someone looking you could perhaps look at them so they know you're aware of where they're looking, then look down and brush off your crotch saying 'what, have I got something on my pants,' this would bring to their attention what they're doing and if they are aware of it letting them know you've spotted it without being aware. Try this, if that doesn't work I'm afraid you're going to have to resort to saying 'Jeez man have you got penis envy or something?' I think making a joke of it is less likely to have awkward repercussions.

 

[36DD]

Wear a skirt and really give them something to look at! Just kidding! Seriously, I hardly ever wear pants so I've never had that happen to me, but you could just call them on it, they'll be so embarassed they won't do it again...or you could just ignore it.

 

[punishingone666]

you could always threaten him with a sexual harassament suit. that typically works on most people.

 

[D_Harry_Crax]

I've noticed that the 20 something guys seem to check out guys junk alot more than others... not sure why this is, maybe because Gay and Bi-sexuality is more acceptable now.

Ditto.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Growl at him...

 

[blue_eyed_devil]

If it bothers you that much then tell them to stop starring at your crotch. I think that they will probably get the message if you tell it to their faces.
MK