I'm more familiar with that feeling than you know. My first panic attack happened driving through Ohio when I realized that I didn't know anybody within 500 miles.
NYC has always intimidated and fascinated me. My first introduction to it was during the 70s when I started paying attention to news. All we heard was how scummy, expensive, and violent the city was. There was Son of Sam, 42nd Street porno shops, junkies, and hookers, and queers (oh my!). We went to Radio City for the Christmas show one year and my cousin (all of 8 or 9 years old) was assaulted. You never went down in the subway even if you could comprehend how it worked. In my young mind, it was one step away from Escape From New York.
It's taken a lot of time and effort for me to get used to the city and become oriented within it. I now use the subway though at night I usually have to be with someone, and I have a good idea of where's safe to go and where isn't. It helps enormously to have names and phone numbers of people I know with me. My cell phone makes me feel much safer. I have friends and family who live in the city so if something happens, I won't be alone for long. It also helps that city is much nicer and safer than it ever has been.
Principessa
Expert Member
Okay, but how is your tummy?
It's OK now. Thanks for asking. I had a miraculous recovery brought on by graham crackers, sleep, and ginger ale. I think much of it was stress-induced.
Principessa
Expert Member
Stress? Right before Christmas? When you get to see your entire loving family. Say it ain't so. How is that even possible? :tongue:
I am glad you are feeling better. Hope you have a nice stress-free holiday.
The bank tried to repo my car on Monday (which the bank claimed had been settled) so I had to go begging to my father for $1807.43 and the guy I'm a home health care aid for went into the hospital on Saturday so I haven't worked at all this week and will be lucky to even have a job as he will possibly go into a home. This is a private job so no benefits/no days off pay. On top of that I may be sued for other outstanding medical bills as well. Fortunately I owe less than $10,000 all told, but I'm making very little doing the home health care gig and I've had other priorities of late so I can't say I didn't see it coming. It's just that everyone is hitting me all at once and I thought getting another job would be easier than it is and that my internet business would be doing better by now. Alas, it too is another victim of the recession.
Oh and I haven't talked to my mother in-person since I came out to her. No invites to the house or to dinner despite her pleasant note. Tomorrow will be the first time I'll see her.
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Principessa
Expert Member
Meh, it's all good. I may be stressed but I'm not whining about it. While there are some unfortunate circumstances that have led me to where I am at this point, I accept responsibility for the great majority of it. It won't last forever though. So much of the last two years has been about hitting rock bottom in one way or another that this is just another mountain to climb (hence my new avatar which precisely describes my state of mind for the past year).
Thanks for the kind thoughts. My karma bank welcomes any deposits at any time.
Thanks for the kind thoughts. My karma bank welcomes any deposits at any time.
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