How do I make him confident in the bedroom?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by rtg, Jan 6, 2012.

  1. rtg

    rtg
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    So I've been dating this guy on and off for a few months now...we've never slept together, we've just stuff with our hands a few times lol. He's very shy and not confident at all about sex...I like the fact that he is respectful of me and is not pressuring me into sex...but we will prob have sex for the first time soon (I haven't seen him in a few weeks cos he's been away) and want to know of any tips or tricks that I could use to try and make him more confident and less shy in the bedroom?

    I'm pretty confident in the bedroom and like to be dominant, but I don't wanna do all the work...and you know, confidence goes a long way... Just wondering if anyone else has had this experience and how did you get your guy/girl out of their shell?
     
  2. gustavorofer

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    Take his clothes off. Suck his dick. Let him know he is pleasing you. Make him suck your boobs, tell him his doing a great job.

    It might be he doesn't have all that experience, really, so just make him feel confortable, let him know he's not doing anything wrong. If he needs help, try helping without letting him know he's being helped. He'll think that's all his doing and probably open up for more action.

    It would help more if we knew some of the guy's background - is he a virgin? How many sexual partners has he had? How long did those relationships last. I ask cause I see you're 24 (my age), and I, to this day, am no 100% confident when I'm having sex for the first time with someone (although I'm not completely shy, deep inside I have this doubt "will she like it if I do this or that? Will she take this or that as an offense? &c).

    Hope that helps.
     
  3. rtg

    rtg
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    Hey, thanks heaps for that....that helped heaps! I guess I don't wanna scare him off either by just tearing his pants off and sucking his cock haha...he was even pretty shocked whenever I've just touched his cock lol. I don't want him to think I'm a slut or anything..even though we have been dating for a lil while.

    Anyways, he's 26...he's not a virgin I know that for sure...I think it's just cos he's so shy and he's probably worried about not being able to please me (he's said to me before that he hopes he will be able to when we finally have sex). When we've done stuff before and I would tell him that it felt awesome (and it really did) he didn't really believe me and thought I was just saying it. Maybe he's has some bad experiences in the past? Or maybe he is just so shy and nervous about it cos he really likes me (I know he does cos I'm awesome haha).
     
  4. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    He is what he is. If you don't want a shy lover, start seeing someone else.
     
  5. rtg

    rtg
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    I'm not that shallow. It's not a problem, I just want to try and make him feel comfortable and not so nervous is all.
     
  6. rogan88

    rogan88 New Member

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    I think you should just rip his pants off and suck him dry lol
    That would certainly work on me, i would feel much more relaxed knowing that the girl was up for sexual fun. It eases the tension and nerves alot when a girl is very forward.
    Plus it makes it more fun:tongue:
     
  7. rtg

    rtg
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    Thanks Ronnie...maybe I might try this then....since it seems like the popular choice lol
     
  8. gustavorofer

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    Or maybe he's used to hear/read all the time that "women fake orgasms", "women pretend to like this", "women pretend to like that", "it's so fucking hard to give a woman a real orgasm" and stuff alike (more or less like that song, "I never cared for you", lol). That is a HUGE problem when what a man wants in bed is to actually please his woman (which seems to be his intention, and which is my intention everytime I have sex).

    I think women don't worry about that because a men's orgasm is evident, in a way (although a man can cum with a real orgasmic sensation or with just a "feel-good sensation", there's no doubt left wether or not it's over).

    So, there are a couple more appointments.

    P.s.: When I said "suck his dick", I didn't mean to suddenly drop his pants. I imagined something like you both sitting in a couch, making out, or in a bed, and, since you said you already touch each other's genitals, you'd slide his pants down and start it. He will NOT ask you to stop it, unless he's really, really shy.
     
  9. rogan88

    rogan88 New Member

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    Yer trust me it will work, hoepfully:rolleyes:.
    If hes really shy he just needs to be relaxed more and it should do the trick.
    im not saying hes suddenly going to become a freak in bed, but he should become a bit more confident knowing his girl is up for fun.
    I always wonder aswell what a new girl likes, just wanna please them usually.
    Im pretty forward anyway and will go straight down on a girl, usually cos im really horny.
     
  10. rtg

    rtg
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    Cool thanks guys :) He's also been like self-conscious about cumming...I don't know why...I tell him he should cos I'd love it, but yeah, think he gets nervous even more then. I just wanna please him too haha.
     
  11. rogan88

    rogan88 New Member

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    I guess just take it slow with him, he will be fine after a while, may take a few times for him to cum with you.
    how big is his cock?
    Maybe you should tell him its a nice one :tongue:
     
  12. rtg

    rtg
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    Yeah true, thanks for the reassurance :) It's probably average size...I'll have to ease into the 'i think you have a nice cock' talk with him though i think haha. Guess I just gotta chill out and go with the flow and it will happen when it happens haha.
     
  13. rogan88

    rogan88 New Member

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    Yer ease into telling him that. Good luck with it lol
    Also he might need the reassurance of telling him his cock is nice.
    Whats average size? i consider myself at average at 7.5 x 5.5 :confused:
     
  14. rtg

    rtg
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    haha as i've posted in a couple of other threads....i have no idea what size any penis is as i've never measured one, nor have i ever asked a guy what size he is...i think guys care more about that than girls do. i just know if it's average or whatever by looking at it or feeling it lol.
     
  15. rogan88

    rogan88 New Member

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    hahaha fair enough. i think your right men care alot more about it, thats why you should give him a confidence boost and say he has a lovely fat cock lol
     
  16. ManlyBanisters

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    Way to diss all the men with genuinely average cocks.

    Average is between a 5 and 6, lengthwise - average girth I'm not so certain on 4.25 to 4.75 I think - I'm open to correction there.

    One thing I do know that 7.5 by 5.5 is a big cock, in anyone's books.

    Now, maybe you do have an average cock and you are just embellishing your stats, I have no way of knowing - not to mention that it's not my place to say and I don't really care anyway. What I do care about is the 97% of men reading this whose cocks are less then 7 inches thinking 'shit, if 7.5 is average I must be small!' - Many men have enough damn anxiety about their cock size without reading inaccurate shit about what is average.
     
  17. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I second this.

    It's not shallow to acknowledge that you just don't have personalities that mesh well in the bedroom.

    Do you really want to set the two of you up for years of unhappiness?
     
  18. rogan88

    rogan88 New Member

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    Sorry didnt mean to cause any offense. I will have pics up soon.
    Iv just never thought that i was that big, cant actually believe that I am considered big, if so it makes me really happy. Im not stating any facts about averages, i just dont consider myself big.
    All i mean is that i think a girl should tell a guy if she thinks he has a big cock, it will help bundles with his confidence :)
    Sorry for any offense
     
  19. dolfette

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    i dated a guy like that once.
    i would kiss him, then back away.
    stroke a little, then pull back.
    give him a taste but leave him wanting more.
    eventually desire triumphed over nerves, he threw me down, stripped me off, duct taped me to the bed, explored every last inch of my body with his hands and mouth and ravished me all damn night.

    ...but i have no idea what pushes your boy's buttons. we don't know him, so all of our suggestions could either drive him wild or drive him away.

    i suggest you play it by ear, watch his reactions and adjust accordingly.
     
  20. rogan88

    rogan88 New Member

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    yer good advice from dolfette, bit of teasing will drive him crazy.
    But she is right, we dont know what he wants. He might not go wild and duct tape u to the bed loll he may just be too shy to do that.
    Spot on about judging his reactions.
    It also depends what you want, how do you want to be treated in bed? do you want him to lick you all over and be rough or do you want him to be gentle?
     
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