How do I make this thing work for me?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Imported, Oct 16, 2002.

  1. Imported

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    NineInchCock_160IQ: I tried posting once before the site went down, but then all the posts were deleted so I'm trying again..

    Anyway, like almost everyone here I am a well endowed male. I'm not freakishly huge or anything like that.. but I'm probably a good eight and a half inches when fully erect. My problem is this.. though all of my male friends and even people I barely know keep telling me how lucky I am, and what a great thing having a big dick is.. and even though culture seems to reinforce this idea all the time... I haven't really gotten anything out of having a large penis. It's been a nuisance more than anything else. I have a hard time getting dates with girls.. I'm not unattractive but I am very shy and also very busy with school and work full-time. I love sex, am good in bed, and would love to find a nice attractive girl or girls to use me for my big dick. But so far almost all of the women I have been with have had problems with my size.. some complain that vaginal sex is painful, that it makes oral sex difficult, and as far as anal goes.. it's really not even worth broaching the subject. Though almost all of them have noticed and commented on it, only a small handful of the women I have been with have enjoyed my above average endowment- and it has never been a tool that I could use to seduce women in and of itself. That's another thing I get told a lot.. that because of my big dick it should be easy for me to find sex. Simply untrue. Outside of the bedroom my not-so-little friend makes it uncomfortable to wear briefs, awkward wearing boxers, and sometimes dips into the toilet water if I'm not careful sitting down in the restroom. So.. a lot of good it's done me. Anyone else have these problems? Have any suggested solutions? How do I make this supposed blessing actually work for me? More importantly.. are there any cute girls in the Northern VA/DC/MD area who think they can handle a well-endowed man in bed... or is everyone on this site a gay male?
     
  2. Imported

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    DizzyGus: My opinion...

    First off I'm not a gay male. I've been with 3 guys and about 35-40 girls in my 30 years.

    You say you are shy. Well a lot of people equate that with a lack of confidence. I am not saying you need to be the life of the party everywhere you go but if you want to get dates and get to know people you need to be at least KIND OF an outgoing person.

    How do you dress? Are you in shape? Those are things that also can help you display confidence.

    I work out a lot and I always dress nicely and I wear cologne no matter what and it is amazing how those things give me confidence when I am around people.

    It also helps that I have a ten and a half inch dick (when I'm HARD of course ;) ) and I know how to use it or so I have been told.

    I think maybe you just need to be more sure of yourself and present yourself better. I don't mean to offend you by saying that, I am just saying that that is what works for me. When I am wearing good clothes and I have my hair done just right (I'm a bigtime mop head though ;)) and I know that I look good, and when I know that my body is looking buff and that I can screw any girl that I meet until she's screaming the swahili alphabet backwards...it's quite a feeling. ;D

    I learned a lesson in hockey a long time ago...if you present yourself like you are your opponent's bitch then that's how they will treat you and you'll get pushed around all game long. But if you present yourself as a badass and if you knock your opponent on his ass and tell him that you're gonna be kicking his ass all night then you've got the upper hand.

    Same thing when dealing with people...if you present yourself as a shy guy even though you might be a really nice guy, well...that's not going to get you what you want. You're going to be treated the same way as you've always been treated.

    But! If you present yourself looking hot and smelling good and with a hot body and knowing you've got a monster swinging between your legs......

    You might be surprised at how many people will literally throw themselves at you.

    As far as the problem of hurting the girl with your size goes, well I had a girlfriend when I was a teenage guy that taught me all about FOREPLAY and that most girls can't get enough of it. And that's what I usually do unless I know the chick is already totally horny for my dick. The more foreplay you participate in the more lubed up she'll be and the more capable of taking in your dick or at least most of it. Ever since that girl taught me how to eat pussy (suction is a BIG KEY), I have never had a problem causing pain during sex because I make sure to turn the girl on completely. I have performed oral sex on some girls for over an hour in some cases and believe me when I was done doing that I had no problem sliding in balls deep! ;D

    Somebody else on this board said that 90% of sex is in your mind and your attitude. I could not agree more!

    [quote author=NineInchCock_160IQ link=board=relationships;num=1034747082;start=0#0 date=10/15/02 at 22:44:42]I tried posting once before the site went down, but then all the posts were deleted so I'm trying again..

    Anyway, like almost everyone here I am a well endowed male.  I'm not freakishly huge or anything like that.. but I'm probably a good eight and a half inches when fully erect.  My problem is this..  though all of my male friends and even people I barely know keep telling me how lucky I am, and what a great thing having a big dick is.. and even though culture seems to reinforce this idea all the time...  I haven't really gotten anything out of having a large penis.  It's been a nuisance more than anything else.  I have a hard time getting dates with girls.. I'm not unattractive but I am very shy and also very busy with school and work full-time.  I love sex, am good in bed, and would love to find a nice attractive girl or girls to use me for my big dick.  But so far almost all of the women I have been with have had problems with my size.. some complain that vaginal sex is painful, that it makes oral sex difficult, and as far as anal goes..  it's really not even worth broaching the subject.  Though almost all of them have noticed and commented on it, only a small handful of the women I have been with have enjoyed my above average endowment- and it has never been a tool that I could use to seduce women in and of itself.  That's another thing I get told a lot.. that because of my big dick it should be easy for me to find sex.  Simply untrue.  Outside of the bedroom my not-so-little friend makes it uncomfortable to wear briefs, awkward wearing boxers, and sometimes dips into the toilet water if I'm not careful sitting down in the restroom.  So.. a lot of good it's done me.  Anyone else have these problems?  Have any suggested solutions?  How do I make this supposed blessing actually work for me?  More importantly.. are there any cute girls in the Northern VA/DC/MD area who think they can handle a well-endowed man in bed...  or is everyone on this site a gay male?[/quote]
     
  3. Max

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    What interests me is that Nineinch wants to be used, and can't find anybody to use him, while on another thread there are guys complaining that they feel used and saying that they hate it.

    I agree with a lot of what DizzyGus has said, though as a married man for longer than I care to say it's a long time since this sort of issue was real for me.

    Before I got any sort of confidence with women I had plenty of people saying that I should wear clothes that accentuated the bulge, that I should thrust my hips out a bit etc ... and other guys thought they were helping me by spreading the news of my penile stats around. Funnily enough, I also had people more or less at the same time giving me dire warnings about how difficult some girls would find it with my size. No wonder I got confused.

    I think the people who say that a huge penis will guarantee a lot of sex with a lot of women are just plain wrong. You might attract a few sizequeens .. they may not be the girls in the end that you want to be with. It would be more accurate to say that a well endowed man has the guaranteed chance of enjoying really great sex if he goes about it in the right way.

    NineInch .. don't give up, the various problems we big guys get are worth dealing with for the sake of the huge pleasure it will give you and your partner.

    Personally, I would leave the size issue completely out of consideration when thinking about relationships ... if you and a girl are serious, especially if she is serious about you .. she will make sure that your size is no obstacle. It may take a LONG time before you can move in and out (or in your case in and in!) easily, but that process of gradual adjustment is just great if you approach it in the right way. All you need to do, maybe, is give some sign early on so that she isn't taken totally aback and put right off when she sees your size for the first time.

    But that assumes a long term relationship ... my own view on one night stands (which your experience seems to support) is that they could be very frustrating indeed for a really well hung guy, unless his partner had been around other big men a lot.
     
  4. Imported

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    blak9: I couldn't have said it better than DizzyGus or Max. But while there are difficulties with having a large penis, I am one to say that the good does outweigh the bad.
    I have been described as shy by some (I don't think so, I'm merely an observer who would rather watch the action of people than comment on them.) but trust me, when the right female comes along she will pull you out of your shyness.
    Also, you really don't want to get used just because of your size. Previously, I commented about two occasions in which I got used. You might feel that that is what you want, but eventually you will want to have a relationship with someone and it will not work out if she only sees you as a big dick or weekend stress reliever.

    Final thought: When you are looking for something you will never find it but once you stop looking... you know the rest.
     
  5. Imported

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    MichaelWith11: I agree with much of what has already been said. And if I may add a few comments....

    First, there's no such thing as too much foreplay. Often I'll be well into the encounter before I even take off my pants. In the early going, concentrate on your partner and let her know that it's all about her, so far as you are concerned. If you demonstrate that you're thinking of her - and not what she can do to your cock - that will set a better tone. I'd also suggest that when your cock does make an appearance, you give her time to get to know it. I have found that if someone is nervous or reluctant because of my size (a touch over 11"), letting her touch or play with or just look at it will make her more comfortable.

    Second, like many guys here, I don't try to hide my size, but I don't make an issue of it. Granted that it's fun to be the Big Man in the locker room, I don't need to have people staring at my bulge while I'm visiting a client or walking in the park. In college, having a big one got me a lot of sex, but that was in the pre-AIDS era; these days I on'ly want to use it with someone I know, and that means having more of a friendship than it does having someone who wants to play with a big cock.

    Third, make peace with the fact that most average-sized guys have no idea there's a downside to being hung, and you won't be able to change that perception. At the same time, they'll never see the look you see on a partner's face when you grow.

    Basically, enjoy the good stuff, don't sweat the small stuff, and focus on being a charming, interesting guy who just happens to have a big cock.

    Michael
     
  6. Imported

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    two_fister: Confidence, confidence, confidence.
    I've found that's the one key to meeting women.
    I don't think it really matters what a guy looks like(being good-looking and buff can't hurt) he can still get a hottie if he's got some game.
     
  7. jonb

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    Pascal's Wager has to work for SOMETHING. If you ask a woman out, or a man for that matter, what can you lose? (If it's a man, make sure he's gay. Go to a gay bar or cruising area or some other gay/gay-friendly place. This is ESPECIALLY important if you live in the Midwest or the South; you DON'T wan to end up with a Bible-thumper.) Now, if you don't ask them out, and they wouldn't say yes, you gain nothing.
     
  8. Imported

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    NineInchCock_160IQ: Thanks everyone for your well thought-out replies. Just wanted to touch on a few things for clarification..

    To the several people who mentioned foreplay to solve the pain during sex problem.. I do like foreplay and have been told I'm very good at it. I've even been told by many women I have been with (including a few who were extremely promiscuous) that I was the best lay of their life and I feel that they were being sincere. Sometimes we do move toward insertion too quickly and this can cause pain but if this happens it is usually because the girl is pushing for it- not me. My biggest problem when it comes to pain seems to be that I like to prolong intercourse for extended periods of time.. 10-15 minutes is a quickie for me.. 20-30 the usual minimum.. but if I had my way I'd go for hours each time. I guess even with a ton of foreplay, after that much sex with a big dick most girls are bound to get a little sore.. also I tend to prefer petite women.. I think this might have something to do with my problem.

    To the several people who mentioned confidence as a key factor in getting dates... yes, I agree. This is probably my one biggest problem.. though it's not really so much a lack of confidence as I feel I suffer from social anxiety. I hear there is medication and counseling available for this but I haven't persued either at this point. To jonb.. I do ask girls out, lots of them actually (or at least I try to), but then the social anxiety comes into play. Once the conversation begins it's difficult for me to focus on what I really wanted to say, I get nervous and typically screw up the whole thing.

    As far as getting used for sex goes.. hey I'm all for it. If I find the right woman at some point, great.. but I'm not holding my breath. I have been in two very long relationships, one of which involved an engagement ring, and in light of those two (failed) relationships my policy is not to rush things. In the meantime.. I'm horny as hell and would love to find a partner or partners for casual sex, even if they were interested more in my member than my personality. I haven't been out on a date since May 1st.. I'm sure the shyness issue is a factor, and I'm also pretty busy working and going to school full-time, whatever the reason though, I'm getting pretty antsy..
     
  9. Max

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    NineInch

    Re confidence and shyness etc. You haven't said (or maybe I have missed it) how old you are.

    I have always been fairly reserved, and there were are few times, say in my late teens and very early 20s when I wondered whether I was attractive to women, despite all the joshing about the crowd that would gather once my "little secret" was fully out.

    Just to encourage you .. I found it was just like the cliche about London buses (or possibly buses anywhere) ... you wait for ages in vain, then three or four come along in a bunch. I reckon that the younger you are the more the "terms of trade" are weighted against you as a male, there seems to be loads of competition, none of the girls seem to want to know you, etc. etc. But the terms of trade appear to reverse completely the further you get into your 20s and the less you are anxious about it ... for some reason I found myself increasingly in demand without any need whatever to 'chase' them or to get into any social anxiety at all.

    Maybe you need just to get on with your life, not to worry about whether there is a girl around, just lead a full life in all respects and let it happen. Enough agony uncle from me :)

    I think the size thing is a completely different issue.
     
  10. Imported

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    blak9: Thanks for that insight Max. It wasn't even my question but I feel that I have learned a lot just reading what others had to say.
     
  11. Imported

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    NineInchCock_160IQ: Re: Max

    I'm 23 years old. and have noticed like you that sometimes women and relationships seem to show up in groups.. though the buses around here don't seem to do that so it must only be an appropriate analogy in London. I think this is a combination of the fact that being in one relationship might give one the self-assuredness to act confidently towards other females, that when looking for a relationsip and you happen upon something that works sometimes it results in you finding more than you were looking for, and also being 'tied down' may make men overestimate their chances with other women since they don't have the perogative to act on perceived attraction. i.e. you are with one girl.. think another one is flirting with you but don't act on it because of the first girl you are with, and because of this you never find out that the girl you thought was flirting with you actually has no interest in you whatsoever. As far as getting on with my life goes... I am doing precisely that. As mentioned in my two previous posts, I am both a full-time student and full-time worker.. I have goals I am working toward and a full and busy schedule.. my love life and sexlife are both sadly lacking, but I'm not sacraficing anything else important in an attempt to rectify this.

    and you're right.. the size issue is a different topic completely from the shyness/dating/relationships issue. But, while I do appreciate the advice I've been receiving, if you'll take a glance at my original post.. my question was not about how to overcome shyness or even how to find dates.. it was: how come having a big dick is supposed to be a good thing and yet it has done nothing for me? and if it can do something for me, then how do I make it happen? So far haven't seen any replies that really addressed that.
     
  12. Imported

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    blak9: I think that the only things "good" about having a big dick is that you are seen by society as being very masculine and being the object of other male's envy (if you're into that type of thing), and you don't slip out during sex. If you think that having a big dick entitles you to a satisfying love/sex life, well, that's not real life.

    Having a big dick is like having a good singing voice. You won't get discovered until someone uncovers your talent. It's also like a trophy. It's impressive to look at but otherwise it just sits there (if not stimulated). It can't really do anything for you.

    If you are just looking for a good fuck that will appreciate the size of your dick, there are plenty of those out there in clubs, on the streets, bars, etc. How do you make it happen? Show that thang off. Don't hide your bulge. Sure, that will turn off a majority of women, but, assuming that you aren't looking for a relationship, you will find a size queen (or two, or three).

    I still probably didn't answer your question, but I tried.
     
  13. Imported

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    hugeManOnCampus: I'm really having a problem at shool cuz mine is 7 and 1/2 inches soft and just about any time that it rubs against my leg or any girl thats hot walks by...well, you know. Ummmm... how can i solve this? email me
     
  14. Imported

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    thatsme: I am 23 and suffer from severe social anxiety, so I can relate to this. I am single now but had a GF for almost 4 years, only because she asked me out.

    honestly, the fct that I have withdrawn from college 4 times hurts me more than my lack of success with people. I figure its best to work on myself and not really worry about other people.

    I used Paxil but that made my erection spongy and almost made ejaculation impossible.

    I can relate to being big ( not huge, but a legit 8), good looking, intelligent,etc but not having success with people.

    I have found sometimes not talking much can help though. Sometimesd you appear aloof and girls will be interested in finding out what the mystery is about you. But the key is to be strong and silent, not just silent. Walk tall, head high, face forward. Walk like you have it.

    Its amazing how peoples perception is influenced.

    But I relate to all that stuff. I actually think i will never have another girlfriend to tell you the truth.
     
  15. Imported

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    HotCock007: I think nine has the problem that may occur in most guys that are well hung and good looking ( I suffered from this too!). And that is by having a large penis and being attractive, will alone, bring the girls running! Well I have news for all you guys who think like this! Simply change your attitudes! women may fantasise about size and some may act these fantasies out. But generaly women want a man who is interested in them, moreso than a man who is more concerned with the size of his cock and the way he looks. Sexuall plessure is all in the mind! So instead of trying to turn women on with your looks and equipment, try getting to know what turns the lady on! Natural lube is the best!
     
  16. Imported

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    sammygirly: ...compelled to answer this although I normally leave this kinds of threads alone...for obvious lack of the topic material  ;D

    Like Max, I see two very different and very clear issues here.  Your penis size isn't really the issue at all.  They have given you some very good advice and support for your social anxiety and I really hope you can work on that.

    Now um, as for a big cock attracting tons of women and your desire for that...

    Have you tried hanging it out of your pants all the time like fishing tackle?  That way, women will be able to see clearly what you'd like them to, and you'll find easily the ones who will use you accordingly.  Harsh?  Maybe, but you know - why would you want a woman who is only interested in what's in your boxers?  Ok certainly, there are enough size queens out there who can satisfy this need if you like - but I'm afraid it won't help your self esteem issues like you may think it will.  How much better about yourself will you feel if you can get women - but they don't recognize your personality at all?  Don't know who you are or what you want?  Don't understand your dreams and goals?  Don't care what's between your ears?

    What do you expect your large penis to get you in life?  Or better yet, WHY do you expect it to get you anything?
     
  17. Imported

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    Finedessert: "Have you tried hanging it out of your pants all the time like fishing tackle?"

    Sammy if he did that and walked backwards in West Hollywwod, California, it would be called " Trolling for Queers"

    I say that with tongue in cheek, being a Gay man myself.....lol.

    Grandpa
     
  18. Imported

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    sammygirly: ~cracks up~

    You're too much sometimes Grandpa. Luv ya.
     
  19. Imported

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    two_fister: if he really wants it to "work" for him has he gotten it a resume? perhaps some job training programs? maybe consider an advanced degree for the penis..just some ideas. ;D
     
  20. benderten2001

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    NineInch first posted this question in October 2002.
    (it would be nice to hear from him as to how things are going at this point). I have reread every post and agree that some really great advice has been offered overall.

    Sometimes, I (like NineInch) have often wondered just how does having a large size REALLY help me and how can I put it to use? I'm certainly not settled yet with a "significant other." 'Seems I stay on the lookout for THE RIGHT woman (and I admittedly am most particular.)

    So, what about it?
    How does size help me and how can I put it to use?

    I am finding that my size alone....will not necessarily do anything for me in and of itself. Yes, it's a part of my physical presence; my physical being...but my "size" is NOT all there is to me. My size can be used as an advantage LATER ON; but getting me started in a MEANINGFULL relationship is going to depend entirely upon...the INNER me.-- How I feel about myself, how I come across to others, and what goals I have set in seeking someone to share my life with.

    Ulitmately, everyone will have to decide at some point what he or she REALLY wants in life as to a relationship.
    "Quickies"--- opportunities for one-night stands, etc. abound. For many, this arrangement though, eventually becomes old. Lasting, more meaningful relationships (the kind I have settled upon that I truly desire) require time to build and the lasting quality results from evolving friendships between two individuals. Later on, in consummating that relationship, I can see that it will be, at THAT precise moment, that my "size" can then come into the picture (perhaps in its more appropiate time-frame.) Afterall, by that stage of the relationship, the matter of size will not have been used (superficially) to merely get the relationship going. Instead, my larger-than-average size will become (up to then) a somewhat understated "bonus" in the relationship--most certainly NOT the primary focus. And, needless to say, by then I will need to evaluate the situation and determine how to use my larger size to effectively pleasure my partner (i.e. techniques) and be sensitive to HER needs (instead of aiming to merely satisfy my own selfish desires.)

    Again, (as is so often the case in life's journey) factoring in "how size matters" really becomes more of an issue of setting into priority what's most important. Sure--size counts. But, boasting of a big penis can be a rather weak foundation when trying to build a quality, lasting relationship...should that kind of relationship be of great significance. There are exceptions. But many women seem to consider the man's values first, --before his size. And, that's the basis behind the course I am currently pursuing for myself.
     
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