How do I make this thing work for me?

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mermaiden: [quote author=DizzyGus link=board=relationships;num=1034747082;start=0#1 date=10/16/02 at 01:02:35]My opinion...

First off I'm not a gay male.  I've been with 3 guys and about 35-40 girls in my 30 years.

You say you are shy.  Well a lot of people equate that with a lack of confidence.  I am not saying you need to be the life of the party everywhere you go but if you want to get dates and get to know people you need to be at least KIND OF an outgoing person.  

How do you dress?  Are you in shape?  Those are things that also can help you display confidence.

I work out a lot and I always dress nicely and I wear cologne no matter what and it is amazing how those things give me confidence when I am around people.  

It also helps that I have a ten and a half inch dick (when I'm HARD of course ) and I know how to use it or so I have been told.  

I think maybe you just need to be more sure of yourself and present yourself better.  I don't mean to offend you by saying that, I am just saying that that is what works for me.  When I am wearing good clothes and I have my hair done just right (I'm a bigtime mop head though  ) and I know that I look good, and when I know that my body is looking buff and that I can screw any girl that I meet until she's screaming the swahili alphabet backwards...it's quite a feeling.  ;D

I learned a lesson in hockey a long time ago...if you present yourself like you are your opponent's bitch then that's how they will treat you and you'll get pushed around all game long.  But if you present yourself as a badass and if you knock your opponent on his ass and tell him that you're gonna be kicking his ass all night then you've got the upper hand.

Same thing when dealing with people...if you present yourself as a shy guy even though you might be a really nice guy, well...that's not going to get you what you want.  You're going to be treated the same way as you've always been treated.  

But!  If you present yourself looking hot and smelling good and with a hot body and knowing you've got a monster swinging between your legs......

You might be surprised at how many people will literally throw themselves at you.

As far as the problem of hurting the girl with your size goes, well I had a girlfriend when I was a teenage guy that taught me all about FOREPLAY and that most girls can't get enough of it.  And that's what I usually do unless I know the chick is already totally horny for my dick.  The more foreplay you participate in the more lubed up she'll be and the more capable of taking in your dick or at least most of it.  Ever since that girl taught me how to eat pussy (suction is a BIG KEY), I have never had a problem causing pain during sex because I make sure to turn the girl on completely.  I have performed oral sex on some girls for over an hour in some cases and believe me when I was done doing that I had no problem sliding in balls deep!  ;D

Somebody else on this board said that 90% of sex is in your mind and your attitude.  I could not agree more!

[/quote]


This is soooo true! Even if a guy wasn't built or hung, if he has confidence he can almost have any woman he wants!!! I've seen it many times where a guy doesn't look like he has much going for him untilhe opens his mouth, then look out! I've seen theopposite too. grat looking guys being dogged by girls because of how they carry themselves.

Great colones, abercrombie fitch 'woods'. the bath shop has a great smelling mens line, very clean and fresh. guys NOTHING beats great hygene folled up with some nice colone.

try it what have you got to loose?

 

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NineInchCock_160IQ: Hey guys. I do appreciate all the advice you've given since I created this thread many months ago, as I have already mentioned in previous posts. Someone above mentioned that they were interested to see if any of that advice had panned out for me, and, well... no, not really. Still single, still lonely, still horny. My inability to get what I (and all guys) want from the opposite sex is truly quite staggering. Check this out:

I was recently in Florida, staying by myself in a hotel room on the beach at Daytona. In addition to the assets already mentioned... I'm tall, fairly attractive, IQ in the top 1 percentile, very well endowed, and all around nice guy... I had just gotten my new car/toy.. a Dodge Viper RT/10.. which I drove around for the week and a half that I was down there.. this all during Spring Break... and I STILL managed to not get laid. Amazing. Someone once told me that if you couldn't get laid in Florida then you just couldn't get laid. I think that probably goes double or triple during Spring Break. Probably quadruple for tall, attractive, highly intelligent and well hung males. And maybe x100 for guys with all of the above driving a Viper roadster. I must have a special gift. oh well... I'm cursed... it sucks. But I still love my car.

 

[benderten2001]

Nine-inch,

It's good to hear from you.
And, thanks for the update.


[quote author=NineInchCock_160IQ link=board=relationships;num=1034747082;start=15#21 date=03/25/03 at 15:32:36]

"...  Someone once told me that if you couldn't get laid in Florida then you just couldn't get laid..."


[/quote]


I tend to want to say the obvious---don't believe everything you're told.

Having read your latest post, I wondered if indeed you are trying too hard to impress a woman while neglecting what really would impress her and that's just being yourself?

You were in Florida during spring break. You drove a fancy set of wheels. You found yourself in a very hot location for "attracting babes". And you certainly thought you had THE car to do it, too. Yet, nothing worked (by your own admission).

I'm no expert; I only want to help guide your thinking abit.

I detect two things.

(1) You are (perhaps) not coming across to others as confident and sincere....perhaps almost arrogantly now with your fancy "show of wheels."

(2) You still exhibit (to me) the need to distinguish what it is that you REALLY want....the raw physical act of sex itself (and lots of it)...or, a relationship--maybe a serious one or lasting one.

While in Florida, "what" did you do? Did you initiate conversations? Did you frequent places with the kind of potentials to connect--really "connect".
Perhaps even MORE important here (I wonder)
WERE you personally comfortable in that Florida "spring break" environment to begin with?

I'm admittedly on dangerous ground here. And, you and I may part enemies. I hope not. I really would like to see you break through this barrier you feel you have.
Notice I said that you "feel" you have. If you have such a barrier, it's only temporary. You must tell yourself that everyday....TEMPORARY.

Keep the wheels, certainly. But, drive that car as a man with confidence....inner confidence and not pretense. Get up the courage from deep within and ask a woman (of YOUR choice) out for dinner or whatever...but don't expect the girls to "flock to you". If that date doesn't work out, then try another first date, and so on. Keep trying and keep saying...there's someone out there for me! Many men go through these "doldrums" of finding a woman....whether the man is "hung or not". BTW--just because you're "hung" doesn't necessarily mean a woman is going to make a run just for you. (Did you ever think of it that way, seriously? It's NOT what you thought would be the case, obviously.) And, in real life, guys must carry themselves with a demonstration of self assuredness to win over the female's attention.

Each time you date, you will gain more self confidence at least from the standpoint that you are making the effort and not merely waiting for the woman to make the move on you. Each date will produce the "signals" and the "vibes" of what would be the next appropriate move in your future (i.e. sex or no sex or whatever--)
Must you be reminded (without insulting you of course)
there's so much more to life (and a relationship) than merely sex!)

The only other recourse (if sex is indeed your main focus) is to find a means to "connect" with potential dates who would welcome that kind of attention immediately. And, those sources are "out there" and I think you know it...and you know WHERE you'll have to look. I believe though, if that is what you REALLY wanted, you would have gone after it by now...and would have gotten it. That may NOT be you, however.

I am REALLY going out on a limb here and say that you come across to me as a guy who might want something more than a mere "romp in the sack".
That's something you will have to think through on your own.

One other thing. Your very early (original) posts revealed you had a history of broken (serious) relationships. I believe you are scarred and scared.
But, you are only hurting yourself when you remain fearful to try again. If anything, you can look upon this time in life to start over and begin anew...BRAND NEW beginnings and BRAND NEW relationships which could make your earlier ones pale in quality and lasting value.

It might be that a bit of counseling (not even long-term) could help you realize and overcome what could be holding you back. I won't venture a guess whether it's self esteem or wounded pride or whatever. That, too though is something for you to consider.

You are young, and I believe in you and your potential. You now need the determination to make work what you already have going for you. You hold the key to that...(and no, it's NOT that key to the Viper.)

I really wish you well.

 

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awellhungboi: Gosh, Benderten, next time I have a problem I'm coming to you!

Wise words, well said.

Good luck Nineinch!  Don't give up! Let me share a recent experience, which maybe will be some small help. I go to this coffeeshop every morning, and one of the girls who works there has been (I thought) flirting with me. So, on Sunday I go in there, she's working, the place isn't crowded. We're chit-chatting and having a nice conversation. I feel good about the way I look and am speaking reasonably well and listening to what she's saying. After she gives me my iced americano I say, "Would you like to do something sometime?" She says, essentially, "Thanks, but no thanks." Was I disappointed? Yes. Did I think she'd say 'Your place or mine?' Maybe. Did I think her not wanting to go on a date with me meant I was unattractive or a loser? Absolutely not. Maybe she has a significant other, maybe she doesn't want to date, maybe I'm not her type. Who knows. So, what did I do after her rejection? I went for a walk, allowed myself to feel disappointed and tried to be honest with myself. Then I came home and did laundry. It's Spring in a college town, no shortage of interesting attractive young women around! So, I guess what I'm trying to say is
I'm much better off knowing that she was just being friendly then I would be if I had never taken that chance and was now worrying and wondering about what might have been.

 

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NineInchCock_160IQ: Well since you went to the trouble of typing out that long and thought out reply I felt obligated to respond in kind.

First of all, I don't know why you're nervous that we should part as enemies. I came here asking for advice, I can take constructive criticism and honest opinions. I'm also a very easy-going guy, I don't get angry at people often, especially online, just not worth it.. and the original post I made so long ago was written partly in jest... the impetus for it being... I have a big penis... we live in a society that tells us this is what all males should aspire to (hell I get about a dozen e-mails a day asking me if I want to enlarge mine)... so what good has it done me, really? :

Moving on to some of the points you made in your post...

I don't believe everything I'm told. And I know plenty of guys who go to FL on Spring Break and never have sex. I just thought it was funny that I had all of the above going for me and I still managed to scare off any potential mates, for whatever reason. I'm not too broken up about it, I still had a good time.

So... I'm not coming across as confident, but maybe arrogant? Isn't that impossible? Oy. what a quandary. Though I think you are right, I am sometimes accused of both a) lacking confidence in myself and b) being egotistical. I deny both accusations.. I consider myself a realist. I know I'm smarter than most people, I know I'm well hung, I also know my limitations, and I know that.. for whatever reason.. I can't seem to get a date to save my life on most nights. I'm not arrogant, I don't feel that I'm any better or worse than anyone else. I could stand to be a little more sure of myself in social situations... I still struggle with social anxiety... I'm working on it... I've been working on it since I was eight... it's a slow and arduous process and I often feel as though I've backtracked but I am working on it.

As for distinguishing what I REALLY want between sex and a relationship.. can't I want both? You are right in your observation that I have been scarred by my past relationships.. and I am a little hesitant to get into anything serious now and a bit more circumspect when it comes to investing myself into anything as blindly and completely as I did my first relationship. But if I find love that's great, I'll run with it. If I find someone who I feel I could have a solid relationship with, I'm open to that. In the meantime... I'd like to have sex more often than I am (almost never). But of course, the point is somewhat moot if I have the inability to find either of these things (meaningless sex or meaningful relationships)

 

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NineInchCock_160IQ: To answer as to what I did while in Florida... well.. mostly I drove around in my car. I had just gotten it, they delivered it to my hotel.... and god damn I love my car. It is so much freakin fun to drive. I would just drive it up and down the strip there.. soaking in the positive affirmation as people would hoarde around me at stoplights.. take pictures and movies of me... chicks flashing me in passing cars... dudes yelling "you da man!!" and "nice car!!".. everywhere whispers of "Viper" "Viper" "Viper" and I could feel all eyes on me... it was awesome. I went to a few clubs.. though I'm not much of a club person.. I typically get bored at those places and leave after about an hour. But I made some friends at one who ironically live right next to me here in Virginia. and I talked to a few girls but that didn't really lead anywhere. I would go out and dance but I'd be dancing by myself. In my car I didn't really have to initiate anything... but I would try to anyway. Girls would come up by themselves and ask for rides, and I would give them rides, and sometimes they would comment that it was amazing that I had that car and yet was still handsome and seemed like a nice guy.. then I wouldn't see them again after that. My favorite story from Daytona about picking up girls is when I had the Viper out on the beach.. and I spotted this positively gorgeous girl walking along with some guy (she later divulged that she had met this dude at a bar and he was walking her back to her hotel room). I drove by and noticed her eyeing my car.. so I went up the beach about a half mile, turned around, came back. She smiled at me. I looked in my rear view mirror as I passed and saw her wave. So I turned around again, went back... she jumped in and we left the other dude standing there in the surf looking stupid. heheh.. good times.. we had what I thought was a pretty decent conversation in the car and had fun driving around but after I dropped her at her hotel she never returned my calls. The closest I came to getting with anyone while I was down there was probably with this excruciatingly hot stripper girl Kelly... I asked her out while she was at work... she hadn't even seen my car yet.. and she agreed. We had dinner together once but the date was cut short and after that kept making plans with each other but she kept blowing me off. I think she liked me but... who knows.. she's a stripper so that sort of comes like reflex. The last girl that I met down there that was promising at all was another girl that I picked up off the beach, who strangely enough was also from Virginia, and we had a good conversation and she gave me her number and told me to call her when I got back... said that is was excellent meeting me... and now that I'm back home and I've left several messages on her answering service I've sort of got the feeling I won't be hearing from her. This happens to me all the time... women act like they are really genuinely interested in me... say things like I'm awesome and they were thrilled to meet me blah blah blah... offer me their numbers without my even asking for them... then they stand me up, don't return my calls, blow me off, etc. Are all women this flaky or am I just really really unlucky? Wow, okay, that was a lot of rambling, hope that I answered your question adequately about what exactly I was doing in Florida.

 

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NineInchCock_160IQ: I ask a lot of women out. Maybe not as many as some.. and due to my social anxiety not as many as I would like... but my lonliness and horniness is certainly not for lack of trying. I have become pretty resilient by necessity, and rejection barely phases me anymore- though of course it's never going to be a pleasant thing. But in spite of my diligence and resilience... I still am just not very socially capable, or I don't know how to pick my targets, or I am too nice, or too honest, or not confident enough, or *something*.

You say that if sex is what I really wanted, then I would have gone after it, and found it. I think you underestimate my talent. Maybe it's hard for the socially ept to understand exactly. Or maybe you mean I could find sex if I was willing to date horribly obese women with genital warts and only a vague idea of what hygeine means?

You also say that I seem like a guy who wants something more than a romp in the sack... well this is true, to a certain extent... but as mentioned previously, barring a perfect relationship with my long-lost soul mate, just a romp in the sack would be nice as well. I've given up on finding something more than that in the near future... focusing on more immediate goals for the time being. If it happens it happens, right? No sense rushing things at 23. You can't force love, and you can't make someone be something that they are not, and you can't settle for someone who's not what you are looking for when what you are looking for is someone you can share a truly amazing relationship with. At least that's my philosophy.

As for counseling... been there done that.. doesn't seem to help. At least not the general counseling that I've gone through as an adolescent. I've considered more focused counseling to deal with the social anxiety, but I'm always very skeptical when it comes to psychiatry.

sidenote to awellhungboi: I agree with you wholeheartedly. Even though rejection sucks, it feels much better knowing that you made an honest try than it does thinking "what if?" the rest of your life.

gah, this was a long post, I had to cut it up into three sections just to get it a legal size... oh well.... obviously that's enough out of me for the time being. 8)

 

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doghorn: NineInch,

I have learned many lessons in dating and love over about 25 years.  Dating is a jungle and is very often painful and frustrating.  But the rewards--that first time a woman you're hot for sucks your cock, or fucks you, or even just kisses you (and the multiple times thereafter)--make it all worth it.

But you're not getting these rewards.  The reason is that something is fundamentally wrong with how you're coming across to women.   Based on what you wrote, I'd say the #1 most likely scenario is that you're being too nice.  I don't think it's practical for me to tell you to just be an asshole, because most nice guys can't magically turn themselves into assholes.  But there's a type of guy who comes across to women as just "too nice," which is a major sexual turn-off, and there's a good chance you're falling into this category.  You will have to reinvent yourself to get over this if you want to get laid by most women.  You can get laid by some women by just being yourself, but why limit yourself to those special few?  Moreover, if you're not actively dating and getting laid, you will have much more trouble landing the big one when you finally meet her.

Some random thoughts, all of which I believe are significant:

- Stop being so nice.
- Go after what *you* want.  Stop worrying about what *they* want!  They will respect you so much more for this I can't even tell you.
- Stop needing women or being desperate for them.
- Don't be afraid to tell them "no."  Women want a man who is in control and who will take control.  If they feel they can easily control you or your emotions, they will lose respect for you.  Loss of respect = sexual turn-off.
- This doesn't mean you can't be warm and friendly.  But be the one in control.  If one woman rejects you, it's no sweat, because you're dating others.

- The above are things you can't learn just from a few words.  So:
- Find the Tom Leykis radio talk show in your market and listen, especially on Thursday afternoons (called "Leykis 101").  I suggested this before, but from what you wrote I doubt you have done this.  It's not a magic cure for what ails you, but it's something and you'll come away with some very handy tips.
- Even better, buy the book How to Succeed with Woman by Louis and Copeland.  Here is an Amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...102-4488749-9688140?v=glance&s=books&n=507846.  The book comes across as very mercenary, and may be too extreme for you, but you can use the principles to succeed in a more normal dating life (the authors are showing you how to be continually bedding new women every month by playing on their emotions or even by tricking them - but it is also chock full of essential advice for someone who needs to build a dating foundation).
- I have learned what the radio show and book teaches over many years of my own trial and error.  But why learn all these lessons yourself?  I've had a very successful dating life despite not being rich or having  great looks (a nice package, intellect, or other attributes helps with confidence, which is pretty important to display when you're meeting women).
- Your great intellect is not going to be of much help right now.  I also have a high IQ, and some very attractive women have dated me largely because of this.  But they've been intelligent women who were in their late 20s and early 30s and who got bored of good looking guys who couldn't keep up with them mentally.  Younger women don't have this priority, and all women need and want a man who pushes their sexual buttons first and foremost.  Your intellect and other desireable qualities are icing on the cake to them.

I'm wiped out from a long day of work and am out of thoughts, but at least check out the above book.  Once you start getting laid, your confidence will snowball.   Good luck and please post again and let everyone know how it's going (even if it's not - at least then we can continue with encouragement and suggestions).

Ron

 

[benderten2001]

NineInch,

I'll (try) to keep my further comments brief.

I wanted to recognize the tremendous courage and candor you have shown throughout your posts.

For the record, I certainly don't have all the answers for you! And, as to MY being "socially ept"....FAR FROM IT at times. Like you, I am overcoming a lifetime of inhibitions and self-esteem issues myself. I am CONSIDERABLY older than you and would really hate for you to go on any longer than necessary before you can resolve some of the matters you are dealing with.

I learned first hand it is such a waste to be "hung up" when you're hung! (I hope that makes sense!)
What I mean is that you (and I) have so much going for us and we need to find our way through life to enjoy the relationships out there that await us. It is more than the "great advantages" I suppose we have sexually being larger than average. As men, we desire friendships and nurturing from women. That's how we're "wired to be". Finding the avenues in life to bring that our way isn't easy for many men. You and I happen to be in that situation. But, I am determined to overcome it.

The advice I gave to you earlier is what I personally am practicing right now from week to week. I am having some success in beginning to feel better about myself.

I have to say some of what you described in your Florida trip was encouraging to hear about, anyway. You need to give yourself credit for at least not being shy and being able to have lasting conversations and meet people. Think about it! That is a major step of progress given your lifetime of social shyness. You just need some additional instances of reassurance and affirmation. In time, if you continue seeking new friendships and not giving up, I believe you will get there, too.

As to being fearful of counseling, I understand that.
Your earlier experiences with counseling occurred during a different phase of your life, though. You're an adult now and there could be other hidden issues you are simply not in touch with that are the source of your current challenges moving on. --Just a thought.

I really want you to go forward in life as soon as possible. You come across as a great guy beneath all those issues which you WILL come to terms with eventually I believe. Continued best wishes to you.

And don't stop staying in touch with us here. There are hopefully other posters far wiser than I who might come forward yet with other insightful ideas meant expressly for you.

 

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H8Monga: [quote author=NineInchCock_160IQ link=board=relationships;num=1034747082;start=0#0 date=10/15/02 at 22:44:42]I tried posting once before the site went down, but then all the posts were deleted so I'm trying again..

Anyway, like almost everyone here I am a well endowed male.  I'm not freakishly huge or anything like that.. but I'm probably a good eight and a half inches when fully erect.  My problem is this..  though all of my male friends and even people I barely know keep telling me how lucky I am, and what a great thing having a big dick is.. and even though culture seems to reinforce this idea all the time...  I haven't really gotten anything out of having a large penis.  It's been a nuisance more than anything else.  I have a hard time getting dates with girls.. I'm not unattractive but I am very shy and also very busy with school and work full-time.  I love sex, am good in bed, and would love to find a nice attractive girl or girls to use me for my big dick.  But so far almost all of the women I have been with have had problems with my size.. some complain that vaginal sex is painful, that it makes oral sex difficult, and as far as anal goes..  it's really not even worth broaching the subject.  Though almost all of them have noticed and commented on it, only a small handful of the women I have been with have enjoyed my above average endowment- and it has never been a tool that I could use to seduce women in and of itself.  That's another thing I get told a lot.. that because of my big dick it should be easy for me to find sex.  Simply untrue.  Outside of the bedroom my not-so-little friend makes it uncomfortable to wear briefs, awkward wearing boxers, and sometimes dips into the toilet water if I'm not careful sitting down in the restroom.  So.. a lot of good it's done me.  Anyone else have these problems?  Have any suggested solutions?  How do I make this supposed blessing actually work for me?  More importantly.. are there any cute girls in the Northern VA/DC/MD area who think they can handle a well-endowed man in bed...  or is everyone on this site a gay male?[/quote]

Wait... you're complaining about not getting girls then you complain about being used for your size by girls and you wrap it up with an advertisement sounding as shallow as the girls who have probably used you? ??? Try looking for someone who can handle your love than your size.

Was that better?

 

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NineInchCock_160IQ: [quote author=Hapi Papi link=board=relationships;num=1034747082;start=15#29 date=03/29/03 at 22:19:32]

Wait... you're complaining about not getting girls then you complain about being used for your size by girls and you wrap it up with an advertisement sounding as shallow as the girls who have probably used you? ???  Try looking for someone who can handle your love than your size.

Was that better?[/quote]

You obviously misread the post... which would explain your confusion.

 

[13788]

H8Monga: Oh I see :-[ You said you wanted a girl TO use you. I inserted a "not" in there when i read it. Sorry.

But you know you're lucky regardless if a girl can't take it. It's eye candy and it's what they want. Even if you can't get it all in or they say they're having discomfort, they still have bragging rights. And I am surprised word hadn't spread; usually that happens. Come to Richmond, there are loads of girls I know who would probably love to give you a try.... just don't do anal....

About the other stuff, don't wear briefs... I tend to picture them for kids and geeky folk (if I've offended you, I'm sorry, damn the media!). Boxers... well I've upgraded to a larger size of boxers so I wouldn't be uncomfortable and I don't have your problem (I just hope my new boxer-briefs aren't too big and would drop off me). The toilet thing, well you got me there... I wouldn't want that but is it hard to lay it elsewhere?

Is it that important to be used? Wouldn't it be better to find love?

 

[13788]

AnonyMs: Do not underestimate a woman's radar for knowing that all a guy is interested in is getting into her pants.

 

[13788]

NineInchCock_160IQ: [quote author=AnonyMs link=board=relationships;num=1034747082;start=30#32 date=03/30/03 at 05:45:22]Do not underestimate a woman's radar for knowing that all a guy is interested in is getting into her pants.  [/quote]

Oh yes. Women are just amazingly astute. I am reminded of this every time I go to any club/bar/rave.. watching the interaction between members of the opposite sex there.
Typical Neandertal male who frequents these places: "hey, I just got my dick pierced... wanna see?"
woman he's chatting with: "okay!"
Neandertal: "wanna go out on the dance floor and 'dance' so I'll have an excuse to rub my dick all over your ass?"
woman: "okay. wow, you're so witty!"
Neandertal: "say, I'm bored of dancing.. wanna go back to my room where we can say hello to my roomates and fuck in the bathroom?"
woman: "sure, you seem to really respect me for who I am"
2 weeks later:
woman: "I don't understand why I can't meet any decent guys!?"

: pardon the sarcasm. Obviously the above was a little bit of an overstatement.. but it gets on my nerves that I see similar things happen all the time. Women all say that they are looking for nice, sensitive, intelligent guys... but what they go after are the assholes with five word vocabularies, tatoos and big pecs. Nice, sensitive, intelligent guys are there but they get ignored. As for women's ability to discern if a guy wants to get in her pants... here's a hint: EVERY guy wants to get in your pants, we're biologically hard-wired to want this, if your radar detects otherwise... it's defective. If we say we don't we are either in a complex stage of denial or we're lying. If we're able to convince you that this is not something we want then either you are in a complex stage of denial or we are really good liars. I happen to be a very shitty liar, oh well, no saavy radar-employing women for me I guess. Even if I am nicer than most guys, and much more generous in terms of what I'm willing to offer in a relationship, and legitimately interested in finding something above and beyond a physical relationship... just not afraid to admit that I would settle for pure physicality, and not afraid to admit that even in a more complex relationship the physical would still play an important role.

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

[quote author=NineInchCock_160IQ link=board=relationships;num=1034747082;start=30#33 date=03/30/03 at 09:50:11]As for women's ability to discern if a guy wants to get in her pants... here's a hint: EVERY guy wants to get in your pants, we're biologically hard-wired to want this, if your radar detects otherwise...  it's defective.[/quote]

Gee, uh, thanks. After your past few entries' attempts to draw attention to the nice guy finishing last, you just singlehandedly backhanded all the rest of us. So much for hope.

Just remember, your experiences don't necessarily mirror the experiences of the nice guy population at large. I know I'm still single and doing my best to enjoy it. I like female attention and all, but I'm plenty busy otherwise; I just date when I can, and if I'm not finding Miss Right, oh the fuck well.

 

[13788]

NineInchCock_160IQ: [quote author=DeeBlackthorne link=board=relationships;num=1034747082;start=30#34 date=03/30/03 at 16:13:04]

Gee, uh, thanks.  After your past few entries' attempts to draw attention to the nice guy finishing last, you just singlehandedly backhanded all the rest of us.  So much for hope.  

[/quote]


I'm not sure what you're upset about here. Maybe that I seem to be championing nice guys but then went out and revealed to the public at large that all guys, somewhere deep down at least, desire sex from females. Even "nice" guys. If this is what you're mad about, then it must be because we have fundamentally different views of the world. Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with sex.. or wanting it from your partner.. sex is a great thing that should be equally enjoyed by both males and females. I feel pity for the people who are too neurotic to really enjoy sex for its own sake- whether because they need to attach love to it, or because they need to feel like they own whoever they are having sex with, or because sex to them seems "dirty", or any number of other reasons. So.. from my point of view.. sex is healthy and good.. so the two-dimensional definition of what constitutes a "nice guy" that is so prevalent in junior high-school due to brainwashing from our abstinence-pushing authority figures.. (that definition being any guy who will go out with a girl and not have sex with her and be perfectly happy about this...) in my mind this simply doesn't apply. To me, what seperates the nice guys from the assholes has nothing to do with desire for sexual gratification. In my opinion it's got a lot more to do with a willingness to be honest about wants and needs, to be open towards and respectful of what your partner wants, to consider your partners' feelings before deciding on your own actions, and in sexual relationships- making sure your partner is receiving as much pleasure and gratification as you are.

Of course I could have misinterpreted your post and you might be angry with me for some completely different reason... you weren't being very clear. If it had something to do with my post causing you to lose hope... you should thank me. In the real world, hope is a liability.

 

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mindseye: [quote author=NineInchCock_160IQ link=board=relationships;num=1034747082;start=30#35 date=03/30/03 at 17:42:04]I'm not sure what you're upset about here.  Maybe that I seem to be championing nice guys but then went out and revealed to the public at large that all guys, somewhere deep down at least, desire sex from females.[/quote]

I'm not speaking for Dee, but this is different from what you said previously. You lunked the 'biological hard-wire' copout.

I'm hard-wired to need sleep, food, and relatively warm temperatures. The suggestion that I[sup]1[/sup] socialize in no more an evolved manner than rutting mammals, that my brain is subservient to my hormones, is a pretty rotten generalization.

Guys who blame biology for poor manners are like the guys who decided blue balls was an excuse to force themselves upon women.

---

[sup]1[/sup] who, by the way, am a guy who doesn't even deep down desire sex from females -- thanks for that slap...

 

[jonb]

Well, there are cultures where women are the active gender. In these cultures, men usually wear makeup, scars, tattoos, or any similar adornment.

There are also cultures with third or fourth genders, which has become a sort of "pop anthro" for gay intellectuals.

Oh, nature/nurture. We could speculate all day about if all men have this biological drive or if it's expressed differently in different cultures or if it's been selected for by some cultures and selected against by others.

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

[quote author=mindseye link=board=relationships;num=1034747082;start=30#36 date=03/30/03 at 18:05:05]
who, by the way, am a guy who doesn't even deep down desire sex from females -- thanks for that slap...[/quote]

My sentiments exactly, Heath, And the sentiments of many on this board. In all honesty, I've never met a heterosexual man who wanted to fuck every woman he meets.

 

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BIGBOYDAVE: [quote author=NineInchCock_160IQ link=board=relationships;num=1034747082;start=30#35 date=03/30/03 at 17:42:04]

somewhere deep down at least, desire sex from females.  Even "nice" guys.
Humm I myself and I'm sure lots of Gay Guys on here and elswear would disagree with you on this Point and I know lots of Gay Guys who would never even concider it