How do I resolve this??

[ranredd]

When I first showed my gf my penis, it was in a car at night. She didn't have much of a reaction. (I'm 7.5 x 5.9) The next time she saw it (again in a car) there was better lighting and I trimmed a bit and she asked if it grew. So from there I asked the question that people tend to DARE not ask. "So, what do you think of the size?" So then she said when she first saw it, she thought it was small-average. So now that hse saw it better she said average-maybe above average. Since I wasn't really sold on the above average part, i asked again when i was drunk on new years. After some arguing and her trying to avoid it, she said it was average. I was bothered and stuff but left it alone. So then we have a weekend in D.C last week and she said I was big. WHAT SHOULD I BELIEVE!?!?!?!

I asked her why the difference and she got mad. Then she said it was different because when asked the second time, she reflected on the first time she saw it. (Mind you, she's felt it up and grabbed and we've had sex plenty of times since the time she said above average) But i just don't buy it. I figure she's lying. The first time she apologized, she apologized that she tried to protect my feelings by saying above average. Now she's saying it's big and said I was average from the first time she saw it. How do I resolve this??? I really appreciate the feedback.

 

[hockeycock]

Who cares, man? Seven and a half is pretty big. Unless she's told you she's a size queen, it sounds like you're just laying your cock anxiety on her. Are you happy with your sex life? Is she? Those are the important questions, not whether she thinks you're huge. If you keep worrying about what she thinks about your size, it'll only hurt your experience in bed.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Stop fucking hassling the poor girl to tell you you have a big cock! That's how you should resolve it. Sheesh - you asked her, she answered. OK - maybe the first time she was trying to play it cool. Forgive her for that. You asked again - she answered again and knew your cock better by then and she said it was average or above - but then you keep fucking hassling her. 'Baby, is my cock big?' - 'Baby, what do you think of it now - you still think it is small?' She has copped on that you are insecure about it and she is feeling backed into a corner by your constant asking. Quit it.

Do you fuck her? (yes) Does she like it? (I assume so) - so let it go.

 

[Industrialsize]

you resolve it by not being obsessed about the size of your penis.....concentrate instead on how you use it

 

[saintedelephant]

I am amazed at the guys here that need someone to tell them that they are big in order to make themselves feel better. Christ, its a forum mostly for men with big cocks, must everyone ask if they are big enough?

 

[ranredd]

I'm sorry guys. I am getting your responses and taking them into consideration. She's has expressed that she's more than happy with our sex life and stuff. And to point out, I think you're right that i am dumping my penis anxiety on her. But this is why I ask how to resolve it. I know it's easy to say "just leave it alone" but it's hard. I mean I just wanna be the best. I don't want her to "settle". I don't want it to be a situation where it's like, yeah he's got a great personality and all this other great stuff and like, well his penis is decent so i'm happy.......

I want to be the full package to her I guess. I appreciate your comments though guys. Trust me I do. I just need a little more detailed help. Thanks

 

[saintedelephant]

Therapy?

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I'm sorry guys. I am getting your responses and taking them into consideration. She's has expressed that she's more than happy with our sex life and stuff. And to point out, I think you're right that i am dumping my penis anxiety on her. But this is why I ask how to resolve it. I know it's easy to say "just leave it alone" but it's hard. I mean I just wanna be the best. I don't want her to "settle". I don't want it to be a situation where it's like, yeah he's got a great personality and all this other great stuff and like, well his penis is decent so i'm happy.......

I want to be the full package to her I guess. I appreciate your comments though guys. Trust me I do. I just need a little more detailed help. Thanks

I don't like to generalise but one thing I have noticed that can be fairly well applied to most women is that we like confident men. If our man seems a little insecure about one thing that's not a problem, we'll try to make him feel better about it, usually. But if a guy appears to be very insecure about one thing (or a few) then it starts to become a turn off.

Your cock is plenty big enough - what you do with it may be enhanced by its size but, as Indie says above, concentrating on what you do with it is the key. There was a thread recently in the women's issue section about 'was the biggest the best' and a lot of women answer no - I'll see if I can dig up the link for you. Reading the responses there might get you some way towards realising that even if yours is not the biggest cock she seen you can still be the 'full package' for her and no settling.

Edit: here is that link:
http://www.lpsg.org/77543-ladies-was-the-largest-best.html

 

[ranredd]

I completely understand that. She's even expressed to me that it becoming a turn off. I mean you're hitting the nail on the head which is why I'm trying to get over all of this. She was attracted to me because of all this confidence I had. And i'm going to admit, that i am to a degree almost cocky. But when i heard what I didn't wanna hear, it shattered my world. So now it's become a progressive problem. I mean let's say I just keep my mouth shut, it doesn't make the feeling go away.

 

[ranredd]

Oh and about the post with biggest not being the best, that definitely was a relief. I have looked through that one a bit already. to be honest with you I've been looking for help and research just by being on this site and looking through most of the threads (and there are a lot of them)

 

[Gillette]

You could always post pics in a thread titled, "Am I big?"

 

[ranredd]

And I guess the thing about being confident and stuff is that you also want a woman that's supportive and able to help with situations like these. Not look at you like some sort of turn off.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Ignore Gillette - she's being a meanie!!

I'm not sure what the best thing to do is. Certainly try not to mention it anymore to your girlfriend. What you can do about the feelings? Try just observing the way she responds to you during sex, take time to notice that you are giving her pleasure and let that boost your confidence. Maybe try complimenting her a lot - telling her her pussy is pretty / sweet, that you love her tits - maybe she'll feel inclined to throw a few compliments back at you. (If she doesn't don't worry though - some people just find it difficult to express in that way).

 

[dreamer20]

So from there I asked the question what do you think of the size?"
I wasn't really sold ...i asked again After some arguing...she said it was average. I was bothered and stuff
then <asked again> in D.C last week and she said I was big...
How do I resolve this??? I really appreciate the feedback.

I agree with MB. Resolve this by not asking this question again. The average size penis is ~5 inches in length. Accept her final answer of "big" instead of causing her to think you are an insecure man who forever pesters her about his penis size.

 

[auncut10in]

Well I am gay so this might not help. But what I would do is when you are having sex with her, give here the best sex you can. Make sure she comes at least 3 times. You have a big enough dick that if you know how to use it, you should be able to make her fall more in love with that tool than she already is. You can't obsess about your size. There will always be someone bigger than you no matter how big you are. And what difference does it make anyway. I mean your dick will never get any bigger than it is right now. So consider yourself more lucky than most and the more you please here, the happier you will be about your dick size.

 

[ranredd]

Thanks everyone. I will definitely implement the new plan and update everyone. I can honestly say that i do the compliment thing because I know how to "fish" for compliments. I just don't get the big part. EVERYTHING else but big. So........


1. Keep my mouth shut and if all else fails, exude confidence no matter the situation

2.Keep reminding myself that she is pleased and that my size is of no concern.

3.Don't worry/Be happy

You guys are great. I love this site.

I'll keep you guys posted in about a week

 

[Phil Ayesho]

Sheesh... what a fragile ego...

you want her to stroke that, too?

This is a huge turnoff for women, fella. It comes across as insecure AND needy... the combo that makes women run the fastest...

The only sex questions you should be asking her is if you did right by her... and if there's anything she would like that you could do or do better...

 

[ranredd]

Yeah I guess it is an ego thing.

 

[ranredd]

BTW if anyone has any additional help, everything is welcomed. Thanks