How do I tell him?

[dancinfool]

So my boyfriend and I have been pretty sexually active for the last few months. I love it, but when he gives me head, he tends to use his teeth a lot by accident. I know from experience that when giving head to a guy with a large penis, its easy to use your teeth by accident. I just dont know how to tell him without hurting his feelings that he needs to be careful. I get sensitive for a few days whenever we hook up!

Any suggestions?!?!

stephen

 

[Hockeytiger]

You can't tell him without hurting his feelings, PERIOD. Telling your lover things he doesn't necessarily want to hear is part of being in a relationship. You are actually running the risk of hurting his feelings more by having waited this long to begin with. Open, uninhibited communication is a key element to a successful relationship. Just stop putting it off and tell him.

Let me give a personal example that comes pretty darned close to your situation. When my wife and I started being sexually active with one another back in college, she, very early on, told me that she preferred a different technique when I performed oral sex on her. Yes, it was a blow this jock's over-inflated ego. But I'm glad she did it. I now absolutely trust her, because she had the courage to be honest with me. I want to be the very best lover I can be for her. I'm sure that your boyfriend feels the same way. Give him that chance by being honest with him. Obviously, you should be a little diplomatic about it. Exactly how, is really up to you. You know him best so you should know the best way to get your point across. Don't allow the fear of hurting him a little bit discourage you from doing what you must do as a responsible sexual partner.

 

[Irvy]

Yeah, if I were doing something that was hurting my bf, I'd be hurt if he didn't tell me just to spare my feelings. You know him best, just tell him in a way that lets him know that you love him giving you head, just without the nibbling!

 

[txquis]

reminds me of saying softly, "gentle, gentle"
when the teeth would get in the way.

Just pick out some signal besides a blood curdling scream LOL.
He will be happier knowing he isnt hurting you.

 

[Pecker]

A Lerner & Loewe moment - if this were a musical comedy, dancinfool would be breaking into song:

"How do I tell him? How do I tell him he bites?"

(you talented poets may feel free to add to this one...) :nopity:

 

[dancinfool]

Originally posted by Pecker@Sep 22 2005, 05:01 PM
A Lerner & Loewe moment - if this were a musical comedy, dancinfool would be breaking into song:

"How do I tell him? How do I tell him he bites?"

(you talented poets may feel free to add to this one...) :nopity:

[post=345720]Quoted post[/post]​

HAHAHA

thank you for that

(i'm a musical theater buff)

 

[dfox7.3x5]

So, Dancinfool, how thick (and long?) are you??

I have fairly prominent teeth in a mouth that should have been larger. One of my friends is long and quite thick and sometimes has to scold me about being careful. Fortunately I've never really hurt him.

 

[MsLulu]

Ok, as a woman who gives oral sex, I never got my feelings hurt when a guy said "hey, do it with less teeth!" or "ouch." I certainly don't want to HURT him (unless he likes it.)

I'll never forget the time a guy showed me how to do it on him. He put my finger in his mouth and simulated exactly how he wanted it done. When I, in turn, did that on him.... woooo..... baby. I was proud of myself. Maybe use a method like that? People WANT to be educated on how to do things well. If they get their feelings hurt over something like this, then maybe they're a bit oversensitive. It's not like you're going to say "STOP USING YOUR TEETH YOU MORON," you're nice about it.

Trust me, I think he would WANT to know if he was hurting you.

 

[steve319]

Stephen, I feel sure that you are a compassionate and generous enough person that, however you choose to handle it, you will make him feel supported and affirmed. Knowing that you are hurting your partner is bad, but finding out way on down the line is worse.

The important thing is that you two get to the point that you can talk about these things openly and honestly. Take it from a man who has found out the hard way, failure to communicate in a relationship, covering up hurt (of any sort) to spare feelings, and sublimating your own needs for extended periods is a dead end road. In the end, you just end up sabotaging the chances for something meaningful in the long term.

Maybe, in partnership with some of the wonderful suggestions given here already ("gently" is so good), you could casually mention your own concern about accidentally scraping his member with your teeth? (I'm assuming you reciprocate on oral duties). Maybe asking for his suggestions on improving your technique could open the doors to this discussion.

Good luck! :hi:

 

[B_RoysToy]

There have been so many worthy suggestions in this thread, but I'll add one other. If, after an oral job on you, he has left teeth marks of any kind, don't hesitate to let him see the damage along with the remark "I'll need to give it a day or two before I'm able to use it". The finger sucking demonstration (as earlier explained) for you both would be an apt way to approach the desired technique, too. Let us know how you tackle this and the results you achieve, my friend.

Luke

 

[DC_DEEP]

How about, "That feels GREAT, except for the teeth."

 

[dancinfool]

thanks guys (and girl&#33 for all your help. i'm just going to hell him if it hurts next time and see if it helps.

i've tried the finger thing- we do it to eachother and its a huge turn on for both of us- however it doesnt seem to help. im 6 inches around and he has a pretty small mouth, so it certainly is understandable- my first boyfriend was 7.5 inches around and it hurt my jaw- so its not as if i blame him for doing it, i just dont know how to tell him without hurting him- i guess we'll find out!

 

[bigtwin]

hey dancinfool, you can also learn to laugh about it. It doesn't have to be some serious mindblowing soap opera of a discussion about how he nicks you with his teeth.
By the way, once upon a time, shortly after we were engaged my wifetobe was giving me a handjob during foreplay. Her ring got turned around and the diamond with setting gouged me on an upstroke. That smart and she drew blood! To this day, the ring finds it way to the night stand during sex.

 

[Love-it]

Originally posted by bigtwin@Sep 24 2005, 09:20 AM
By the way, once upon a time, shortly after we were engaged my wifetobe was giving me a handjob during foreplay.  Her ring got turned around and the diamond with setting gouged me on an upstroke.  That smart and she drew blood!  To this day, the ring finds it way to the night stand during sex.

[post=346152]Quoted post[/post]​

Does that mean, "A Diamond is not a man's best friend."?

 

[DanielForever]

i put my lips over my teeth

and if my husband bites i say 'fuck, you bit me you clod'

he doesn't get hurt feelings

:freak:

 

[dancinfool]

I guess he learned on his own- it was like a whole new mouth! lol
thanks for all your help

 

[Pappy]

Or maybe he reads the posts here!!

 

[Alley Blue]

Originally posted by Pappy@Sep 28 2005, 06:34 AM
Or maybe he reads the posts here!!

[post=347100]Quoted post[/post]​

Yeah, maybe he's one of the lurkers!
This is one of the many reasons why I don't bother putting a pic up.