how do I tell my wife she's loose?

[Drifterwood]

She knows you have a small dick.

 

[hanko]

Drifterwood, she is fine with my small dick and so am I.

No kids, to answer someone above. Great suggestions though. I like Musclejock's suggestion of bringing up the issue. Very smooth. Will definitely consider.

 

[Olivia]

I have to say you think of past girlfriends, well I bet anything they are loose by now. I mean, I doubt they are still single and childless, and you know when a woman has a child, if they don't do kegels, they will be loose.

 

[Drifterwood]

You have a weird gallery.

But look, if you are a normal size and so is your partner, she should not feel "tight" if she is enjoying sex.

 

[Drifterwood]

I have to say you think of past girlfriends, well I bet anything they are loose by now. I mean, I doubt they are still single and childless, and you know when a woman has a child, if they don't do kegels, they will be loose.

This is such doo doo. I had sex with a 43 year old woman today who has two teenage boys. She was very tight.

 

[trentster]

No offense to the women who posted, but you say things like that, then you wonder why guys don't ask you how they are doing during sex, or don't give you a straight answer when you ask. If something changed in my partner's and my sex, I would bring it up. If you can't be open about something as personal as sex after 4 years, then why are you still going out?

If a woman told me something, like I wasn't getting as hard, or couldn't last as long, I would try to find a way to rectify it. It should be pleasurable for all people involved.

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

You are totally "pulling the mickey" right now, dude. You are going to confuse the OP.

First of all, a relationship/marriage is all about communication. If she is loose now, you might want to bring it up the next time you have a sexual conversation. Just don't say it so boldly. Perhaps, just make the comment about how you heard about this thing called P.E, or kegals, and you think you should both try it out because it's supposed to strengthen the orgasm.

IF you don't think you can pull that off.... well, tread lightly on the subject. You could also use less lubricant?? It would make your cock slip in less easily.

Tact is good. :yup:

No offense to the women who posted, but you say things like that, then you wonder why guys don't ask you how they are doing during sex, or don't give you a straight answer when you ask. If something changed in my partner's and my sex, I would bring it up. If you can't be open about something as personal as sex after 4 years, then why are you still going out?

If a woman told me something, like I wasn't getting as hard, or couldn't last as long, I would try to find a way to rectify it. It should be pleasurable for all people involved.

I agree!
Making sex pleasurable for both partners is vital to maintaining an active sex life. If you can't talk about sex freely - communicate your needs, and each be willing to adjust for your partner's needs and desires without taking shit personally - perhaps you shouldn't be fucking. :shrug:

 

[AlteredEgo]

Hanko, I rather liked OC MuscleJock's advice. You recognized it as good advice as well. It does have one flaw, however, as he is quick to point out himself. It's manipulation. The problem with manipulation is that it doesn't always work. Would you really like to face the risks you know exist if you have this conversation, only to leave it to chance that she will actually bother looking up the excercises? No, your only choice it to tell her how she benefits from the excercises. In fact, I can see very little motivation for any woman to keep up with a kegel regimen if they don't know how they themselves benefit.

If she makes a regular habit of excercising her PC muscles, she stands (not to actually tighten anything, but rather) to improve the elasticity of her vagina, improve her sensitiity, and improve the quality of her orgasms, as well as give her the ability to improve her sexual techniques and better see to your pleasure. If I were you, I'd do more research about what is possible, and if I would bring it up at all it would be in a maner similar to OC MuscleJock's suggestion. However, when I would mention the benefits I could get from doing my own PC flexions, I'd get into the ways in which she could benefit. Then tell her you'd like to do them together if she's game.

As a note, Hanko, have you considered the following? As the two of you continue to learn how to give each other pleasure, as she ages and her own ability to orgasm has evolved, and as her body continues to change, have you considered that perhaps she's not "looser" but instead wetter? Have you considered that your erections are possibly not what they once were? Have you considered what your contribution to your problem might be, or have you only automatically pointed a finger? Consider these things.

 

[B_horribleperson]

dont forget to tell her that her that those pants make her ass look fat

 

[OCMuscleJock]

Hanko, I rather liked OC MuscleJock's advice. You recognized it as good advice as well. It does have one flaw, however, as he is quick to point out himself. It's manipulation. The problem with manipulation is that it doesn't always work. Would you really like to face the risks you know exist if you have this conversation, only to leave it to chance that she will actually bother looking up the excercises? No, your only choice it to tell her how she benefits from the excercises. In fact, I can see very little motivation for any woman to keep up with a kegel regimen if they don't know how they themselves benefit.

If she makes a regular habit of excercising her PC muscles, she stands (not to actually tighten anything, but rather) to improve the elasticity of her vagina, improve her sensitiity, and improve the quality of her orgasms, as well as give her the ability to improve her sexual techniques and better see to your pleasure. If I were you, I'd do more research about what is possible, and if I would bring it up at all it would be in a maner similar to OC MuscleJock's suggestion. However, when I would mention the benefits I could get from doing my own PC flexions, I'd get into the ways in which she could benefit. Then tell her you'd like to do them together if she's game.

As a note, Hanko, have you considered the following? As the two of you continue to learn how to give each other pleasure, as she ages and her own ability to orgasm has evolved, and as her body continues to change, have you considered that perhaps she's not "looser" but instead wetter? Have you considered that your erections are possibly not what they once were? Have you considered what your contribution to your problem might be, or have you only automatically pointed a finger? Consider these things.

It is Manipulation on the DL ...which I did admit HOWEVER...you might say ...going with what I had already said, that strengthing those muscles for females help them squeeze and grab the cock when its inside...NOT that she needs to do that *rolls eyes* ...SEE thats the hard part...how do you suggest THAT part if you haven't planted the seed about it. You know..if she asks...and you answer her incorrectly..you'll be sleeping on the couch for weeks!!!

 

[D_eeglefleegle]

Are you sure you're her only partner, and does she have any larger toys that she uses? BTW, I've had two kids, and I'm tighter now than I was pre-baby. Kegels work.

 

[StraightCock4Her]

You're being dumb for even thinking that bringing this up would in ANY way help your wife or yourself!

What would it accomplish?? It would just hurt her feelings! And she can't do ANYTHING about how tight she is...

 

[AlteredEgo]

It is Manipulation on the DL ...which I did admit HOWEVER...you might say ...going with what I had already said, that strengthing those muscles for females help them squeeze and grab the cock when its inside...NOT that she needs to do that *rolls eyes* ...SEE thats the hard part...how do you suggest THAT part if you haven't planted the seed about it. You know..if she asks...and you answer her incorrectly..you'll be sleeping on the couch for weeks!!!

That's a bit redundant, is it not? All manipulation is "on the DL". :tongue: That's what makes it wrong. It's also what makes it risky. People are usually very angry about it if they catch on. I still say if he's going to risk being caught at manipulation, he shouldn't just leave it to chance that she'll be sufficiently interested in looking into kegels on her own. You say the risk is in talking to her in depth about improved sexual technique. I say it's riskier not to. What if she's not interested enough in the subject to do her own research? If he only has to bring it up once, it's just something that caught his fancy. If he has to bring it up twice, THEN she's going o wonder if he's tring to tell her something hard to hear. That's just my opinion.

 

[ShowOff]

What could you possibly have to gain from saying anything?

Men are horrible, disgusting, unfair creatures, and the only reason she's loose is because of you! How dare you think you can ask her to help improve your sexual gratification! How dare you?!

Given the forum this was posted, this might be the funniest post I have ever read.

 

[OCMuscleJock]

That's a bit redundant, is it not? All manipulation is "on the DL". :tongue: That's what makes it wrong. It's also what makes it risky. People are usually very angry about it if they catch on. I still say if he's going to risk being caught at manipulation, he shouldn't just leave it to chance that she'll be sufficiently interested in looking into kegels on her own. You say the risk is in talking to her in depth about improved sexual technique. I say it's riskier not to. What if she's not interested enough in the subject to do her own research? If he only has to bring it up once, it's just something that caught his fancy. If he has to bring it up twice, THEN she's going o wonder if he's tring to tell her something hard to hear. That's just my opinion.

I'm saying it's better to put the issue on yourself to TRY to convey the idea. By coming straight out and saying something like that you'd really hurt her. At least this way you are at least trying to spare her feelings. It's not manipulation unless it works to your advantage. Ask any woman on this site...they'd rather not have someone come right out and say, hey...you got a loose hole...care to do these exercises to tighten it up so it feels like it used too back when we first started dating? I could have just as easy suggested that the OP start pumping a bit before he has sex...that way he can take some of the burdon off her and still make it tighter for him If I cant make you tighter...I'll make myself thicker to accomodate! HE was wanting to know the best way to tell or hint to her about this stuff... so far my way has been the most usable and safe. Despite what could be a bad turn of events if she catches on...either way if it goes bad...it was no worse than coming right out and saying it directly. Because he'd tried to save her feelings my way.

**all this could end up on DR. Phil and be a big boom for LPSG ...the DRAMA!!!

 

[B_Jennuine73]

My suggestion would be to fuck her with a dildo. Be in total control, tell her when to squeeze, when not to squeeze, when to try and push out. Bring her to orgasm that way and then talk about what felt really good for her. She'll probably tell you when she was squeezing and pushing out. Ask her if she wants to try that during sex.

Also I suggest trying to feel the difference in resistance yourself when she is squeezing and pushing out that dildo. If she feels a big difference, she will want to do it herself. Without you saying anything which might offend her.

I do agree with the previous posts about communication though. I just think this would be a fun way for both of you.

 

[hanko]

Well, great advice. To answer sexymama, no large toys, no other partners. She is not that loose.
I like the dildo suggestion. Problem is that when I am there, she wants me and no dildos inside of her unless it is vibrating on top of her while we're having sex. So that'll not work.
Thanks for all the comments.

 

[psidom]

she is most likely "tented" and opened up not "loose"

this is kind of like a female erection and is very natural,
this is her way of her pussy telling you she loves you,
just as the hardness of your erection tells her how special she is.

do not call it "loose" but aroused.

 

[crossy]

I would probably start with PE to increase your girth. When you get to 7 or 8 inches of girth then stop. She will go wild with that new friction.

 

[polesmoker]

If you are not sexually satisfied by all means tell her. If he were a woman asking this question everyone would tell him to demand pleasure. To the OP, educate yourself about the kegels and then tell your wife all the things you have learned. Get a g spot lesson while you are at it.