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Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Amyntas Lillydong, Jun 30, 2008.
For the women. How does a woman determine whether a man becomes a lover or a friend?
probably the same way a man chooses.. lol
only more picky of course
I don't think women are much pickier than men, honestly. We just have to endure the rejection in our faces.
A woman never knows she has been rejected, because a man rejecting a woman simply means he doesn't bother to make a move.
So I have been rejecting women my whole life. Not because I wanted to but because I have no social skills and I'm scared to make one. Hmm, sucks how that works.
No, the ones you are rejecting are the ones you don't give second glance to.
Lots of things determine this: personality, kindness, sense of humor, attitude, integrity, character, etc.
If he has any of the above, he is put into the friend category.
im on fire today, folks.
so very true. and when i found a guy who had these he soon became a lover as an added bonus. and he had these so well that i made him my hubby , didnt want to let him get away as he was very hard to find LOL.and after 15 yrs, he still has them today.
I had a good female friend in College that would go to dance clubs to meet guys... in HER opinion only a man that could move his hips dancing was worthy of a fuck She said..if he can move like that here...imagine what he can do in bed. hahahha
Can you move your hips like that? I can't. I need a massage. hmmm
All my male friends seem to be gay so its a clear cut case of them being just friends
Being a guy, I don't know with any kind of authority, and certainly every woman is different. There are some women who would ignore Brad Pitt and pounce on Steve Buscemi. So who knows for sure. But in conversations with various women, here's what I've noticed that seems recurrent:
1) individual sexual chemistry - the guy is physically attractive to the woman and both she and he seem to "spark" in each other's presence, with little or no effort, and in ways that are very specific personally
2) trust - there is something about the guy that makes the woman trust him with the privilege of bedding her; this goes two ways - 1) trust that he "gets" her feelings and understands them and respects them; 2) trust that he knows what the hell he's doing - or is teachable, with great potential
3) strong vulnerability - the man is strong ("masculine") in general, but vulnerable around the woman
On a side note, I've also noticed that sometimes the reason a woman moves quickly to bed with a guy is because he's attractive to her female friends or she perceives that he will be (if he hasn't met her female friends yet). Sort of the "locked-in trophy boyfriend" mentality.
If you can buy and sell the other guy - you're in.
If you can punch the lights out of the other guy - you're in.
With women, it's purely a power thing.
Strongest partner produces strongest offspring.
LMAO! I love these theories. Who says women dont know when they have been rejected! Honey I could tell you some stories! Oh yeah we know. We know all too well.
Punch is primeval. Money is social.
Most women do not have to make the advances a guy does. You may have a few stories. Losers like me have dozens, maybe hundreds.
Other than sexuality ruling out a few, I'm not sure how I choose other than initial sense of pheromones/chemistry/attraction, w/e. Usually I allow my immediate initial feeling for the guy, and whether I can tell if he is into me or not, rule. If we are both feeling each other, the romance door is open. If I'm not feeling him, or if I feel he isn't into me, but still a person I want in my life, I just no longer see them as a possibility romantically... unless something changes between us.
Twice, that I can recall, romantic/sexual chemistry built over time and we moved to lovers. More than twice, the intial attraction waned and we moved to friends. :shrug: But usually I know immediately if I want the person in a romantic way or not and am direct about my feelings, so it can move fairly fast...
Yes we all win some and lose some. Being rejected is a part of being a human being.
all women choose differently. some women are picky and have specific requirements. others are superficial and only go for looks. and then there's women like me who are open to anything. i can't speak for everyone, but i can say we all choose men in our own ways.
Yep . Woman are in a easier position . They are in the position of accepting or rejecting the guys . Guys must do the first move most of the time .