How do you base your search for a boyfriend?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by lopo2000, Jan 23, 2012.

  1. lopo2000

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    I noticed something about myself today that whenever I'm observing people, I'd look at his look and body and his apparent bulge, then wondering what it would be like if he's my boyfriend. Then, it hit me, gosh, I should be the kind of person who believes in the "inner beauty" crap and now I want someone with a good look, rockin' bod, and a big cock to be my boyfriend, how shallow is that? I mean, for as long as I remember, I want to be in a relationship with a guy who loves me and who can be romantic and sensual, but time after time, I catch myself wanting hot guys standing in front of me to be my boyfriend.

    How about you? How did you meet your love? Was it infatuation first? Or was he/she a person who wouldn't match your type but you fell in love with anyway? I kind of believe that we can end up being madly in love with a person who initially doesn't conform to our type, but now I think this belief is fading away.

    Another question, does this kind of shallow attitude that I have a result of lack of experience? Will I outgrow it? This question sounds stupid but I hope you can share your experience.
     
  2. Otep

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    When you don't know someone all you have is physical attraction. The fact that you wonder how they will be as a boyfriend instead of just wondering how they'll be in bed shows that you aren't "shallow" in the way you may think you are.

    Also, some people choose not to couple themselves and thus are only concerned with physical features because all they want is a physical encounter. I wouldn't necessarily call that shallow either. It's different than what some people want but for those who don't want a partner, either at the time or ever, physical attraction is all that matters. If you were looking at these people and only acknowledging their existence if they're attractive (like if they're being friendly or if you refuse to have friends who aren't hot) then you begin to hit shallow territory.

    Basically you can still have ideologies like inner beauty while staring at guys bulges.
     
  3. aqua-illusion

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    I day dream sometimes...yes of course anyone would want the "trophy boyfriend" but then reality sinks in....most people who I find attractive will probably not find me attractive so, day dream ends. :) lol
     
  4. lopo2000

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    Thank you Otep. :)

    Aqua, we're the same, high five!
     
  5. rtg

    rtg
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    Yeah, at first obviously what attracts you is their looks (unless you already know them). Any personality comes later usually haha. But for me, once I get to know someone...they become so much more hotter and sexier to me too.

    Oh yes, and I'm terrible for looking at the bulge too and daydreaming all sorts of things.
     
  6. lopo2000

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    I guess it's normal for us to depend on something physical when we have no clue whatsoever about a hot stranger. I agree, once we know someone, he or she can be sexier.
     
  7. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    Well at least you're aware of the fact that your attitude is shallow. That's a good start. It sounds like you don't have a very good self-image if all you're thinking about is how attractive your partner should be standing next to you. Maybe you need to grow up first before you hurt someone emotionally.
     
  8. lopo2000

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    OK, a bit too harsh but I think it's the truth... :/
     
  9. GAKitten

    GAKitten New Member

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    I don't feel your being shallow. Mind set and bit skewed.

    What do mean by this? How we approach realationship is solely based on how we view them and their value in our lives.

    Everyone we encounter has value. if they don't..my next question to you would be , why are you leeting these types of people into your life?

    ** value can be as simple time spent, new experiences, sexual experiences, companionship..etc

    Assuming men whom have large cock and Adons types bodies as empty shallow etc..that i am sure they get stereotyped is a fallacy in many people's thinking.

    Instead accept at face value..your attracted to them . Then the process of getting to know them begins. Give the process a chance...maybe you can have both a hot guy and a loving caring lover.

    Now if you ONLY date men on sex value and it leaves you feeling lonely, depressed and shallow. Then it is up to you to revaluate your techniques and why you picking people who can never be what you need for intimaacy.
     
  10. B_ILIW

    B_ILIW New Member

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    looks are not everything, and that's not being PC, it's a simple fact IMO.

    But i couldn't date a woman i was not attracted to physically. It's kind of 60% looks and 40% personality.
     
  11. B_ILIW

    B_ILIW New Member

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    I think a person has every right to only base potential gf/bfs on looks alone. It may not make sense, but I personally don't consider myself the belief/opinion police lol.. Anybody can have any dating standards they want.
     
  12. lopo2000

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    @GAkitten, I think you're right too. They are attractive, so I'm attracted to them. It's what it is. I hope we're lucky enough to get an attractive partner who's also caring, loving and romantic.

    @ILIW, initially I thought it's 70% personality and 30% looks, but I'm not so sure anymore. :/
     
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