How do you deal with unwanted sexual attention tactfully?

[D_Sir_Auquhorthy_Asspuddle]

I believe I told him..."honey, I can't believe this, what on earth are you doin running around ringin on my phone and door all the time! Where's your manners!?"

 

[TomCat84]

I've never had a woman hit on me outright- except for the random drunk straight girl making out with me at a gay bar. Then again, I think I'm pretty clueless when it comes to detecting sexual advances from women. Men are usually so much more direct.

 

[Redwyvre]

Unwanted sexual attention sounds like sexual harassment to me. Take it to the HR dept. and let them know you feel uncomfortable. If it's in some other random setting I agree with what everyone else has been saying, if you don't feel playful and flirty most women will quickly get the hint and will probably move on even before you do. If not tell them you're GAY!

 

[crescendo69]

Not a problem much anymore. Too old, broke and ugly. But once..

I was sitting at a table talking to a friend, and some not-my-type guy started standing right next to me, pushing up against me, almost with his groin. I turned my head toward him, and, recalling an old Groucho Marx line, I said, "If you stand any closer you'll be on the other side of me!". He left.

 

[buddy629]

Yes. It does. I do not like being hit on by women. I just take it as a complement, and that's all. Usually thank them for their flattery, and leave it at that. If, after I come out as 'gay' to them (as if I actually need to tell them, they should be able to figure it out on their own), and they still hit on me, I usually try to avoid them like the plague. If that doesn't work, i begin to be rude or bitchy to them when they continue their unwanted attention. If it still continues, I let them have it.....as in "stop flirting with me you stupid bitch, I'm not, and in no way, will ever fuck you....EVER!!! You bug the shit out of me. Knock it off for Fucks sake!!!".

 

[atlclgurl]

I just grin, shake my head "no" and say "Sorry, I'm seeing someone." Which is not (technically) a lie...after all, I'm looking at HIM (seeing someone) while turning him down.

 

[B_Bjen2848]

be direct, mixed signals = drama

the more aggressive they are, the more direct you need to be

playful flirting = smile, thank their compliment but show you aren't interested

asking for number = sorry, i am not interested

if she keeps asking = ignore

 

[deleted3782]

It seems to me that there are two issues here...an external stimulus and internal response.

External stimuli happen...and as long as they are harmless - like a woman flirting with you at a bar - there need not be an negative internal response. If it is a harmful action - such as your report at work - that's something that does need to be dealt with through proper channels.

If you are having a negative internal response to harmless sexual attention...I would think you could condition that into a positive. You could, for example, smile but don't encourage her further, or acknowledge the attention as a compliment and remove yourself from the situation. Unless she is touching you, or making an idiot out of herself by licking her lips and rubbing herself...it would seem to be fairly harmless. Is there any way that you could respond to the attention in a way that you don't grow uncomfortable? Is there some way you can walk away from the experience thinking "I still have it" instead of "OMG, I feel victimized"? In other words, you can't control her, but you can, hopefully, control you.

 

[earllogjam]

I don't feel victimized when this happens and it doesn't happen a lot but when it does it's more awkward than anything else. Ignoring it is the easiest but I don't think best way to handle the situation because they will just continue or worse follow you around.

I am flirt blind so by the time I figure out that the person is being more than friendly it passes into that area or being uncomfortable.

I think the smile and just mentioning that I'm seeing someone is probably the best polite way of handling this as atkckgurl mentioned. It's better than just ignoring it or being confrontational about it. What do you all think?

 

[B_troyboy123]

on th enote of the topic , there this girl she virgin and she wants us to do the dirty in a nutshell , but i dont want a relationship with her or anythign , but i think she might any thoughts?

 

[nudeyorker]

on th enote of the topic , there this girl she virgin and she wants us to do the dirty in a nutshell , but i dont want a relationship with her or anythign , but i think she might any thoughts?

Tell her how you feel. And you might add that the first time and the first person should be really special because she is going to remember it for the rest of her life.