Ive been in love five times.
I can tell you the almost the exact time of day, precisely where I was standing, that it was a Saturday morning had to have been one of two Saturdays the last one of September or the first one of October of that specific year so very many years ago that I realized I was in love with someone.
I had never been in love and then it happened, in a split second I knew what it was and all these years of experience subsequently being in love, Ive never doubted; it was the real thing.
It did not work out, he moved on, I got over it well enough, but think I will never not love him although there were others.
The next time was maybe it was a rebound - was more lusty, but I dont think less love and definitely not less valid. I respect sex and passion.
A few years lapsed before the third time and this one was awkward; like each time it came on quickly enough there really was love on my part it was recognized, rejected, but I was not rejected, there was an obvious mutual attraction, and the relationship was awkward.
The fourth followed not too much later I was deliberately trying to avoid any involvement that plan failed - and it was OK.
However, none of these worked for shit.
A few more years passed. I was over 30 maybe 31 - I had given up on me, convinced I would never actually love anyone who would ever accept me because I had to be that screwed up I happily settled on a solitary life which fortunately did not exclude an abundance of casual sex.
That was when I met the love of my life and finally got it exactly right and we had a terrific romance until he tragically died.
I know there have been people in love with me. I have never successfully responded by being able to reciprocate. For me, Ive got to initiate it. Not everyone is that way fortunately.
There were a couple or three other infatuations I dont know why they werent quite genuine love two of them were successful sexual affairs but it wasnt really the full bazooka.
I dont really know if there are words that can describe what you feel butterflies is one used by prior posters and Ill concur. Certainly, once you realize you are in love with this person, you will not look at many of their foibles as flaws but rather charming because thats the way your love is and that makes it great. If they have complicating shortcomings, I dont believe I would be blind, but they will not irritate like they might do otherwise.
It seems to me it happens rather quickly at least for me wanting to fall in love with someone because they would be a great catch isnt something that seemed likely to be possible for me.
I certainly do not have a type. After the third, frustrating attraction, I decided I needed to avoid good looking guys; that had been my problem, I roomed in college or hung with hunks and it had been a disaster. Number four I thought when we met was perfectly resistible.
I misjudged.
The feeling hits rather quickly; you might describe it as feeling all tingly but I dont think that is precisely the point.
Once in love, I might get excited just to hear his footsteps, the sound of his car approaching, hoping to hear his voice on the phone.
If a successful relationship really does get started and the love is reciprocated, some of the giddy infatuation must surely settle down, but I think there remains unalterable a growing intimacy in which you think less and less of your own self separate from the person you love and more and more as if the two of you are really one.
Im not sure I ever fell out of love. Maybe number three was the closest to that.
