How Do You Define Friendship?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by nudeyorker, Jul 30, 2009.

  1. nudeyorker

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    I have been thinking about my friends lately..." Through Thick and Thin and Sick and Sin". Trust and respect are what spring to mind for me. What's important to you?
     
  2. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Mutual respect, honesty, and commitment. You know you got a good friendship because it's always a solid give and take. You don't have to spend every minute together, but when you do hang out, it feels special -- like you wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
     
  3. TheRob

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    it's hard to say
    personally to be a friend we have to hang out
    as far as good or bad friend I dunno, what I notice a lot is I will be talking to a female coworker (I never notice this with male coworkers) and she will inform me that we are friends
    I am not consulted or anything, I'm just informed her and I are friends
     
  4. D_Amyntas Lillydong

    D_Amyntas Lillydong Account Disabled

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    i've been thinking about a particular friendship lately. i've listened to her problems for over a year now. but she'll end up drooling over some guy who has no interest in her and she is infatuated with that she hardly has any contact with. tired of the fact i think she takes me for granted. which i think is proven by the fact that she has told me if she meets a guy she is totally into she won't make the time to stay in contact with me. selfish bitch. problem is i just met a woman i want to spend time with so now the shoe is on my foot. i'm just going to avoid this pee bag until or if she asks for an explanation.
     
    #4 D_Amyntas Lillydong, Jul 30, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2009
  5. midlifebear

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    Despite all of the usual Hallmark characteristics, I'd add someone you're not terribly fond of, but who you've known all your life and surprisingly, immediately shows up to support you and just "be there" while you're going through rough times and -- again much to your surprise -- doesn't enjoy any schadenfrued because of your misfortune. I've got several acquaintances I've known for more than 40 years to whom I was never mean or treated poorly, but I never felt compelled (because of political/world view/emotional differences) to keep in my Rolledex. But time has surprised me. I've found myself being there for them and even more surprising, they've been there for me. We still may call each other names in front of and behind our backs (vapid bitch comes to mind), but when the pressure of life was almost too much to bear, we ended up being around for support -- all kinds of support: emotional, financial, professional, and just plain friendship.

    And I'm someone who'll permanently write you off my party list if you dare bring a tuna fish casserole to one of my ad hoc parties or brunches. Seriously. That's unforgivable.
     
  6. D_Pubert Stabbingpain

    D_Pubert Stabbingpain Account Disabled

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    Just "being there" like a parent should be when you are a kid, to share the good as well as the bad and offer you unconditional acceptance even if you disagree. And if you can't "be there" at least pick up a phone!
     
  7. invisibleman

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    What if I brought an artichoke heart and farfalle pasta casserole that had seasoned crab and lobster meat, fresh peas and chopped proscuitto in it. Also, had two bottles of well-chilled CAMPARI, some blood orange and pineapple juices and SAN PELLEGRINO sparkling water for cocktails? :biggrin1:
     
  8. nudeyorker

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    You are welcome at my casa or little grass shack any time!
     
  9. midlifebear

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    Invisible man: Do you cater?
     
  10. invisibleman

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    I hope so. I was going to bring a tuna fish casserole but gurlfriend from Spain wants tapas and fresh-grilled fish. :biggrin1:
     
  11. invisibleman

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    Only during the holidays. I cook and bake a bunch of stuff during the holidays. :smile: And IF I charged for what I did cuisine-wise, I think that people wouldn't ask me to cook and bake for them during the holidays.
     
  12. DiscoBoy

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    When I can feel completely comfortable being with a person without one word ever being said. No such thing as an awkward silence with a good friend.
     
  13. crossy

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    A true friend simply is someone who will watch and feed your critters if you are on vacation.
     
  14. D_Portelay Porquesword

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    I have best friend that I have known since we were both 12 years old. We have been through everything.

    The only thing I can say is forgiveness, grace and most of all...letting it go and moving on. Complimenting someone and then turning around in the same breath dragging up mistakes or character assassination helps no one. Regardless if it is the truth or not.

    Life is too short for all of that.

    I have made my share of mistakes. If I had a dollar for every one of them.....I can't imagine.
    My best friends calls at least once a week and he knows EVERYTHING and then some, even so, he always says "I love you" to end each conversation.
     
    #14 D_Portelay Porquesword, Jul 30, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2009
  15. sexplease

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    an enemy stabs you in the back. A friend stabs you in the front.

    I think we consciously (and subconsciously) choose our friends to answer our needs.
    Needs of laughter, joy, belonging, acceptance, sharing and usually non-sexual intimacy.

    I think Kahlil Gibran said it eloquently in his famous book, The Prophet:
    On Friendship, from The PROPHET, by Kahlil Gibran

    And a youth said, "Speak to us of Friendship."
    Your friend is your needs answered.
    He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
    And he is your board and your fireside.
    For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
    When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."
    And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
    For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
    When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
    For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
    And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
    For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.
    And let your best be for your friend.
    If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
    For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
    Seek him always with hours to live.
    For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
    And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
    For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
     
  16. Enid

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  17. Irish

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    I think you got that one backwards. >_>
     
  18. rbkwp

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    Loyalty'
     
  19. D_Pubert Stabbingpain

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    I have 2 friends like that but both have slowly drifted away over the years. One seldom communicates any more and I have to call him and catch him at a good time for us to talk but he never calls and even stopped emails. It seems he has other priorties and he is not out to his family. I think he was once in love with me and simply can't deal with the fact that I was never physically attracted to him. This is the first year he has missed my birthday and he refuses to visit me when travelling close by. I decided to let this go. The other friend I also have to call but he really can't afford to be calling me and he is not into computers so does not email. He and I will always be friends. My 2 ex-LTR's and I are friends but through the years, the drifting apart is down to Christmas Cards and nothing else. That's just the way it goes so I make new friends but the quality of the friendships is not at all like before.
     
  20. B_theOtherJJ

    B_theOtherJJ New Member

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    Unconditional support, and non-judgemental
    "Never make someone a Priority when they only consider you an Option"
     
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