Hey ladies,
Since there's only a small number of you I talk to privately, I figured I'd ask openly.
Recently I had an issue with my friend and his ex. The friend and I have known each other for nearly 20 years and have no romantic connection at all.
In the time my friend and his partner were dating, I made a comment referring to him as handsome in his IG, liked a few photos and when we called himself fat, I simply said "Nah, you're not. You're good babe."
I learned after the fact (and after some incredibly childish, insecure and jealousy laced messages from his ex) that these were deemed inappropriate in her eyes.
Things are fine now between she and I. The friend and I not so much. As this was something that should have been conveyed to me.
Anyone that knows me, knows that by me calling someone hun/sweetie/babe etc, it's not at all sexual. I use those named for 95% of my friends and family as do my friends use them for me. I think I have privately dropped "hun" on at least a few ladies here in a passive manner.
What all this long ass rambling is essentially asking, is, am I the asshole? I apologized to his ex as were this actually brought to my attention as an issue, I would have been more than accommodating and changed my mannerisms so as not to make her uncomfortable.
Do the partnered ladies here find issue if a female friend of your other half compliment them or casually use affectionate names?
I know a lot of her issue stems from severe trust issues and insecurity, and she was fine once we spoke, but it doesn't negate that it was an issue to begin with. Do you think I should change how I speak?
This was enough adolescent drama for a lifetime for me. I'm too damn old for it.
Since there's only a small number of you I talk to privately, I figured I'd ask openly.
Recently I had an issue with my friend and his ex. The friend and I have known each other for nearly 20 years and have no romantic connection at all.
In the time my friend and his partner were dating, I made a comment referring to him as handsome in his IG, liked a few photos and when we called himself fat, I simply said "Nah, you're not. You're good babe."
I learned after the fact (and after some incredibly childish, insecure and jealousy laced messages from his ex) that these were deemed inappropriate in her eyes.
Things are fine now between she and I. The friend and I not so much. As this was something that should have been conveyed to me.
Anyone that knows me, knows that by me calling someone hun/sweetie/babe etc, it's not at all sexual. I use those named for 95% of my friends and family as do my friends use them for me. I think I have privately dropped "hun" on at least a few ladies here in a passive manner.
What all this long ass rambling is essentially asking, is, am I the asshole? I apologized to his ex as were this actually brought to my attention as an issue, I would have been more than accommodating and changed my mannerisms so as not to make her uncomfortable.
Do the partnered ladies here find issue if a female friend of your other half compliment them or casually use affectionate names?
I know a lot of her issue stems from severe trust issues and insecurity, and she was fine once we spoke, but it doesn't negate that it was an issue to begin with. Do you think I should change how I speak?
This was enough adolescent drama for a lifetime for me. I'm too damn old for it.