How do you feel about this statement? - "Enthusiam...

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Bravo55, Apr 1, 2011.

  1. Bravo55

    Bravo55 Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2010
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Southeast USA
    I understand the underlying idea but was wondering how the women here felt about this statement?

    "Your enthusiasm for her body is more important than your sexual prowess."

    I don't think a complete lack of "prowess" is implied and I know there will be indivualism in the responses, but if you had 10 points to divide between the two how would you?
     
    #1 Bravo55, Apr 1, 2011
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2011
  2. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    34
    Gender:
    Female
    I don't want to get into splitting hairs, so I'm going to attempt to define terms a bit. I suppose you might mean by "prowess" things like the ability to bring her to orgasm via techniques using one's hands, tongue, and penis.

    The hair splitting comes in because I believe many people would define one of the differences between good and bad technique to be "enthusiasm" and it's hard to imagine how one could have an inspired sexual technique but show a lack of enthusiasm towards her body.

    Looking at it from the other side, I suppose than a man could show a lot of enthusiasm for her body, yet have no repertoire to speak of that one could call technique. Okay, seen from that perspective, I'd have to go with enthusiasm winning!

    I have slept with a few men who have had little experience, but were so enthusiastic and observant of my reactions, and just plain passionate, that good sex between us seemed natural, almost magical, and I've been with more experienced men who should have had enough experience that they should have a few "moves" under their belts with whom I was disappointed, and I believe that one big difference at least a few times was that they were not as into me as they could have been.
     
  3. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    I would take 100% technique over 100% enthusiasm any day. Although ideally, there'd be a nice mix of both.
     
  4. syagash

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2006
    Messages:
    74
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Australia, Regional NSW
    Verified:
    Photo
    There is nothing that is a bigger turn off to me than my lover not being enthusiastic, I usually make up for any short comings in the technique dept.
     
  5. LaFemme

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2010
    Messages:
    8,742
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3,891
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Canada
    Verified:
    Photo
    Enthusiasm is going to win over prowess, I think. I'd like to see a mix, but if I had to split, I'd say at least a 70/30 split with enthusiasm in the lead! I like a man who is excited by what he's doing.
     
  6. Opalite

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2008
    Messages:
    1,134
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    At home
    To be completely honest, I really feel the same. Sure, It's great to have a guy thats totally in to you. But some of my worst sexual partners have been the ones that were excited - or overexcited. Sadly, usually the enthusiasm on those guys will only last for as long as their dicks stay hard. In any case, I'd take a guy that knows a trick or two over the enthusiast puppy-types if I had to choose between the two.

    Ofcourse a mix would be the best of both worlds, but where as enthusiasm will get me excited, technique will make me cum. :rolleyes:
     
  7. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    Worship always turns me on. Technique can be mechanical. Just my personal choice.
     
  8. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    Puppies! That's what the enthusiastic but unskilled remind me of!


    Enthusiasm is cute, but not particularly sexual for me.
     
  9. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    34
    Gender:
    Female
    Katt, if premature ejaculation was an issue in my past experiences, then I would also be wary. Instead, the inexperienced lovers that I was referring to had exceptional stamina! That was definitely not an issue.
     
  10. Opalite

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2008
    Messages:
    1,134
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    At home
    I think it's more an issue of how we interpret "enthusiasm"; wether it's seen as a synonym for "passionate", beeing the only one in the room-kind of feeling and perhaps even the "worshipping" helga spoke of OR seen as the direct opposite of skill, overexcitement and therefore clumbisness, or maybe even too focussed to be able to enjoy themselves.. The difference between someone beeing enthusiastic about you OR enthusiastic about sex (with you or in general). It could really go both ways.

    Though my personal experience is that most skilled partners were the more passionate (as it makes sense to have to care enough to even want to try so hard to please the other person), and less-skilled but enthusiast partners were commonly too obsessive about themselves and the experience to really let go. That said; perhaps if I had had different experiences my opinion on the subject wouldn't be such. I don't think theres a wrong or right here.
     
  11. Bravo55

    Bravo55 Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2010
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Southeast USA
    Thank you all for the responses. I really appreciate your perspecitives.
     
  12. curious_angel

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2010
    Messages:
    1,094
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    England
    Verified:
    Photo
    I'm interpreting "enthusiasm" to mean, excited to be with me. Desire.

    I'd rather have an enthusiastic lover with a willingness to learn, than a skilled technician with little enthusiasm.
     
  13. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2009
    Messages:
    7,866
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3,765
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Florida
    Ten years ago my answer would have been different. I like a 50/50 split now! I definitely want the enthusiasm, but I know what I want in technique and he delivers in spades. I know he worships me too because he can't keep his hands off. Sometimes that drives me crazy in a bad way, but at least he still wants to touch!
     
Draft saved Draft deleted