How do you get over an ex?

[Darkriff]

You know bro, I feel your pain, I've been there myself, and still there actually. I recently decided to divorce my wife. Like you I can't seem to keep myself busy enough to stop thinking about her, but here's what I can tell you, now shhh... it's a secret.

TIME

That's the only thing that's helped me. It starts getting a little easier every day. One thing you need to attempt to force upon yourself is to stay away, or have as little contact as possible. Trust me, like I said I've going through the same thing. Having her around all the time didn't help at all, I just hated her while wanting her back more than anything. Stay your distance, this approach is gonna hurt like hell, it'll suck and you may even fall into a depression, but that's what I did. Do your best to stay with someone, whether it be friends or family, stay in contact so you have someone to talk to, someone to lean on. There's no quick fix, or magical solution, just time.
You don't have to shut him completely out of your life, but keep your distance as much as you can painfully stand and try to continue on, but on a day by day basis. It's been a few months now and although I still miss her like crazy, it doesn't hurt me like it used to. I'm not as emotionally wrecked and depressed. It will get easier..... time.

 

[goodwood]

like everyones says - time. when i called off my wedding i was devastated and heartbroken and getting over her was the most difficult thing i have ever had to do.
i was so deeply hurt and betrayed i didn't know what else to do other than have as much
casual sex as possible, partied a LOT more than i usually did (which was a lot to begin with) and threw myself into my work to keep myself focused on something other than
the beartbreak i was feeling.
good luck to you. you will get over it, promise. hang in there. ; )

 

[sexplease]

you don't "get over" anyone, let alone an ex. Life just goes on. Today's experiences and involvements and dealings just pile on.
The love and pain will always be there, they are just muffled by subsequent living.
The pain of loosing a friend or loved one is as painful and vivid as the day it happened years ago, but our smiles, good and bad memories since is life.
Having a good support group or friend(s) are what makes life bearable in tough and rough times.
and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I lost a dear dear friend this past Tuesday. 20 years of love, laughter and friendship. and I have had a shitty week. But I also have amazing friends who share in some of my memories. It's tough though, because he was home in Norway and I am unable to be with my friends there.
I will make a summer trek to his home, make new memories, laugh, cry and drink red wine for my friend.
But I will never ever get over him.

Good luck with your living, because that is what life is for. Living

 

[D_Doe_Ray_Mi]

I don't fully understand your message but I'll give it a shot. The way to get over him is to get back out there and socialize, mix with others, date a bit etc. Dating doesn't mean much except good company hopefully, doesn't have to include sex especially if you say bye to your dates away from your home or theirs. There is nothing written in stone that says you have to forget him; your mind won't let you do that for a long time to come. You didn't say how long you had been with him, why you are so attached, who broke up with who, and why?

Did you love him? Did he love you? Does one of you or both of you still love the other but simply cannot get it to work? Your post is too vague.

This expressed my take on your situation as well as I could have. Time, as they say, heals all wounds. When my first wife cheated on me, I went numb with anger, betrayal, denial and disbelief. I took her back twice until she began to take me down with her. My way out was focusing on growing my new practice, working out, hanging out with friends and . . . becoming sort of a man-whore for awhile until I met someone who took my breath away. She was wonderful, yet a stepping stone to what was to come. Life goes on and yours will too. Empathy goes out to you and finding your strength to see your next steps.

 

[closetbi]

Here: First, cease all contact. Second, forgive yourself for fucking it up and forgive him for letting you. You have to truley forgive to let go. You can't go on with feelings of wanting more from him by either a) giving him too much respect or b) giving him too little respect. Don't love him, don't hate him. Just realize you dated, and it didn't work out. Try to move on like an adult and treat him like an old friend when you see him, but don't blow up his cell phone or anything. Be chill. Time will work this out.

 

[BJs4You IL]

Did you love him? Or were you infatuated with him? It sounds like he was straight, ie, unattainable. So, if it was infatuation, you will, with time, get over him. Realize he was a great experience, but not who you were ultimately meant to be with. He was like a great vacation. You can remember the good times, but it was for a time. If it was love, then realize love wants the best for the other person, and respects that person's needs and wants. You can keep loving a person and should because love is a decision to do the best for the other person while respecting their freedom. And yours. You are free to want the best for him but to keep living and doing the things that you need to do to be healthy.