How do you get over him?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by cloudedwithchaos, Nov 17, 2011.

  1. cloudedwithchaos

    cloudedwithchaos New Member

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    This is gonna sound sad, but my ex boyfriend and I broke up four months ago. I just can't stop thinking about him. I love him with all my heart. I miss being with him. He's an ass, but I'd give anything to get back together with him.

    Any tips on forgetting him?
     
  2. MarkLondon

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    Find someone else. Who's better than him.

    Easier said than done, I know.
     
  3. wappingite

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    Occupy yourself and be social. Find and emphasise what makes you happy as an individual. Do need to forget him though, remember the good and the bad as another chapter of your life. Best of luck.
     
  4. Unnamed

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    eat chocolate ice cream and watch Lifetime
     
  5. cloudedwithchaos

    cloudedwithchaos New Member

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    I live in an exceptionally small part of Canada. Three guys that are actually attractive and not perv-ish are my ex, his brother and his brother's boyfriend.

    I don't want to forget him, I just wanna stop feeling things for him. If he didn't say and do things that were so easy to read into. I'd have a much easier time getting over him. But he makes it seem like he still loves me and still wants me to be close.

    For those wondering why we ended. I lied. That's why we broke up, I lied about the same thing... more than once. I crossed a boundary. I thought the boundary was stupid and I loved him anyway. As his boyfriend I should have respected that but I fucked up and I get that. I miss him and I'd go to hell and back again and again to show that I love him and that I can be trusted.
     
  6. B_rzl

    B_rzl New Member

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    theres no real cure for getting over someone, for me (and i consider myself intelligent, who knows irrational from miles away) it took six months of not being able to move on with anything. so what did i decide? no ,more falling in love, because it always brings more sorrow then joy when you look at it from a safe distance... little did i know thats not how life works, and im in love again today ;-)
    and ive also had an experience like that with my best friend, he got mad because of one stupid thing i said, he even knew i didnt mean it but we werent speaking for a year. we got back together and i asked him why, he said, i just wanted to set you str8...
    and if you were the reason for brake up, you will NOT stop having feelings for him. move on with everyday activities, try to change that bitchy part of your personality, and if he makes it look like that thats what it really is, so sta good and kind, if you stay friends and youve changed he will see it, then maybe (probably) everthing will get back to the way it was, and admit it, its what you actually want :) good luck!
     
  7. B_jasonbig

    B_jasonbig New Member

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  8. B_rzl

    B_rzl New Member

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    i just read both your posts together, ou wrote two different things. if the first is true, listen to jason here. if second, read my post. if both well then ou want to get back, he wants to stay close and situation resolved itself, call him for coffee and talk like two adults and you will agree to stay friends, and things will get better.
    how do you know he still wants you close?
     
  9. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    It is going to take a lot of time, and you making positive changes to your life. Start working on yourself. Fix anything you don't like. Go get a kickass body, and some counseling to help you get over wanting somebody who treated you badly. In a few years, you may run into him. You'll think, "What the hell? I must have been lonely as hell to hook up with you.".
     
  10. avg_joe

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    Good idea. I'll take that.
     
  11. cloudedwithchaos

    cloudedwithchaos New Member

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    the kickass body would be nice anyway
     
  12. B_rzl

    B_rzl New Member

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    m8, you didnt tell us have you decided is he a bad person or not?
     
  13. cloudedwithchaos

    cloudedwithchaos New Member

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    The second post is much more honest, the first post is just my "I want off this ride." Post.

    I do love him, I do miss him

    Like I said about things that he does that are so easy to read into.

    Example:
    Me: I have to go to this work party near your house, do you wanna go with me?
    Him: No.
    Me: Well do you at least want to do something together to make the 30 minute commute and bus ride worth it.
    Him: No, I really don't feel like going anywhere tonight.
    Me: Alright, so how's your night going?
    Him: Good, I'll give you a ride home later if you want though.
    Me: That would be awesome, thanks.

    It's not that he offered to give me a ride that I thought was weird, it was that he flat out refused to leave the house than offers to drive 10 minutes to come to me, and then drive another 30 back to the town I live. Doesn stay, pretty much just says "bye" I hop out of his truck and he leaves.

    It's been 4 months, almost 5 since we've broken up, and he said that i'm the only guy he's had sex with since before our relationship. He's a superficial 10, amazing body, amazing penis and can get laid if he wants to. If he's not lying that would be really easy to read into, like... he wants to keep me close but not too close where I'll hurt him again

    Edit: He's an ass, he's snarky and he's snippy and sarcastic. Yes he's a bad person, but then by that logic so am I
     
    #13 cloudedwithchaos, Nov 17, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2011
  14. crescendo69

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    "He's an ass."
    "For those wondering why we ended. I lied."

    Did you lie to protect the relationship? Would you do it again with a new boyfriend? Why is he the ass? It sounds complicated.

    Either way, it sounds like you need to start finding another ass, I mean, activity to help get your mind clear. Join a group for more social contacts. Even a non-gay one can increase your possibilities of meeting someone else.
     
  15. crescendo69

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    I just read your last post, so that explains a little more. But still..

    Move on.
     
  16. Tense0000

    Tense0000 Active Member

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    Time is the only remedy......keep busy....go out with other friends.... then you will realize how there are other great people out there and respect you better.
     
  17. cloudedwithchaos

    cloudedwithchaos New Member

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    He's an ass, but i'm not saying that like a bad thing. Normal people would say he's a snippy, snarky and sarcastic person. I am all of those things as well.

    I lied because I didn't know what else to do. I figured if I told him the truth, he'd dump me for sure. I figured it would be the only way to protect us. AS WRONG AS I KNOW LYING IS NOW
     
  18. aninnymouse

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    I don't get it... You lied, about what? I'm still not getting that. I think you need to have a honest conversation with him, and see what you two really want to do. Does he want to give you another try? If so, would you be willing to get back with him?

    Here's the thing. You don't just get over someone. Not at all. It takes time, and even after time has passed, you'll still have feelings for them. If you'd like to turn the feelings off, not so easy. IT seems especially harder since you're in a place where there's not that many options, and it's easy to bump into someone again. It seems like it'd be easier to cut all ties, but....not sure if that's feasable.
     
  19. Stephenmass

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    This whole post doesn't make much sense. Why is he an ass if you are the one that lied? And what was the lie? In that conversation you gave us as an example, he simply didn't want to go to the party, but offered to pick you up. What is wrong with that?
     
  20. B_jasonbig

    B_jasonbig New Member

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    he prob gave you a lift home cus nighttime means shag, no effort involved, party going is effort and serious
     
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