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- Nov 29, 2009
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of casual sex without feeling badly about it after wards? Or maybe how do you simply have a FB?
I'm curious because, at 35, I still can't seem to do this. I want to. Really, I do, but each time I get close, I just can't.
Example, I met this guy...lol, does it always start out that way? Anyway, he's pretty cool, we've been chatting, talked on the phone, he's a bit arrogant, never had children, two years younger, athletic, funny, smart, and about an hour and a half away. We both have busy lives, but...when he suggested we should be 'friends with benefits' and 'exclusive' I immediately (well, not immediately, I am a bit jaded, I think, about men and their truthfulness so I was willing to give him the rope, if you know what I mean, to hang himself? Sad, but it's hard to trust after being burned a few times) anyway, I began to wonder how many women he had set up in this kind of 'relationship' with such great benefits. I mean, he's busy, he can call me and we can go have sex. He says the same thing to me, I can just call and wow, sex. Or see a movie, or hang out...so that's confusing me too!
Sounds good, actually great....then my mind kicks in. I start to think well, he doesn't want to have a 'relationship' with me b/c I have a child, or he's got several women he's screwing, or he's just going to use me! Now the last really gets me because well, won't I be using him as well? So, see my problem?? I just can't get my mind wrapped around this thing. And worse, while I might have thought him sorta brash and a bit of a bragger, now that he's saying the FB thing I'm thinking I like him! More. And then again, not. It's just so damn hard to wrap my mind around 'just sex' and not feel all these confusing and conflicting thoughts.
I'm screwed. And no, not the way I was wanting.
I guess what I'm asking after this huge post -- is how do you go into an FB with just that -- the expectation that it will ONLY be an FB?
sry for such a long post! geesh.... I'm a bit confused, can you tell?
I'm curious because, at 35, I still can't seem to do this. I want to. Really, I do, but each time I get close, I just can't.
Example, I met this guy...lol, does it always start out that way? Anyway, he's pretty cool, we've been chatting, talked on the phone, he's a bit arrogant, never had children, two years younger, athletic, funny, smart, and about an hour and a half away. We both have busy lives, but...when he suggested we should be 'friends with benefits' and 'exclusive' I immediately (well, not immediately, I am a bit jaded, I think, about men and their truthfulness so I was willing to give him the rope, if you know what I mean, to hang himself? Sad, but it's hard to trust after being burned a few times) anyway, I began to wonder how many women he had set up in this kind of 'relationship' with such great benefits. I mean, he's busy, he can call me and we can go have sex. He says the same thing to me, I can just call and wow, sex. Or see a movie, or hang out...so that's confusing me too!
Sounds good, actually great....then my mind kicks in. I start to think well, he doesn't want to have a 'relationship' with me b/c I have a child, or he's got several women he's screwing, or he's just going to use me! Now the last really gets me because well, won't I be using him as well? So, see my problem?? I just can't get my mind wrapped around this thing. And worse, while I might have thought him sorta brash and a bit of a bragger, now that he's saying the FB thing I'm thinking I like him! More. And then again, not. It's just so damn hard to wrap my mind around 'just sex' and not feel all these confusing and conflicting thoughts.
I'm screwed. And no, not the way I was wanting.
I guess what I'm asking after this huge post -- is how do you go into an FB with just that -- the expectation that it will ONLY be an FB?
sry for such a long post! geesh.... I'm a bit confused, can you tell?