Man, we've all been there.It is painful at the beginning, but it gets better over time.... trust me.I was married for 3 years when we decided to end it.That wasn't easy and the ending of my subsequent year long relationship multiplied my pain.
I turned to alcohol when suddenly one day I decided that this wasn't the way to go.Life is too damn short and there are lots of fish in the proverbial sea of life.The key is to take some time for yourself and discover yourself again, then go and fall in love again....it may seem impossible to you right now, but trust me;when you fall in love again,your ex will become a fond memory to you.
In my own life, I can look back with fondness and a smile at "all the girls I've loved before" and my "soulmates" and the ones I "couldn't live without".....trust me...you can and you will.
God bless!
Yeah, guy- pretty much what he said. 2 years and 2 months is a long time, so I definitely apologize for what you're going through. Typically in these situations I advise that you take some time for you. Feel sad, cry if you need to- let out the negative. There are emotions you must come to terms with. It's not like you can just say "Fuck this, I'm going to be happy now and life is swell!" No, you've experienced a lost- your life is now without her- something very unfamiliar to you. Accept that pain, and like I said- cry if you need to- do it until you don't want to shed another tear.
Once that's passed, begin the healing. For 2 years and 2 months, you've been half of a whole. Now, you must embrace building yourself back up to a whole. During the time you were with her, you grew into the man you are today, leaving behind the man you were 2 and 1/4 years ago. Accept, love, appreciate, and admire the person you are today- because as much as you love her, you must love yourself even more now. Normally, in situations like this, I recommend going to a video store or to a library, get a movie or a book you believe you'd really enjoy. This allows you to spend quality time with yourself, escape your own world, and see similarities and the differences between you and the main character. You can often recognize things about yourself you didn't know. Then, try hanging out with some friends- and get to know them again. You could have always been someone's best friend, and at the same time, forget what it's like to just be "one of the guys". You're healing in your own image- because now it's not about what "we" liked to do, but about what "YOU" like to do.
In this process, you must remember the good times you had- there's no denying that they ever existed. And as strange as this is going to sound- allow yourself to dislike her for the pain that she's caused you- she's no longer your perfect little angel, and things will never be what they were. And when you're ready to be set free completely, forgive her (don't forget, but forgive)- not for her, but for you. You don't even have to tell her that you forgive her (more than likely, since she's not woman enough to give you the closure you deserve, she's probably going to wonder what the hell you're talking about). But set yourself free the pain and the hurt, believe that tomorrow is always going to be even better than today, and move forward with your life.
And think of it this way- after you heal, you can feel sorry for her- because you're going to be a better man. A better man she may never get to experience again.
I gotta say- you sound like you were a great boyfriend, and very focused. Don't let this harden your heart. Stay a good person. I hope this helps, and best of luck, kiddo.
Dante'