Well, my advice would be not to set yourself up for a big disappointment, but keep making an effort. Show what you look like up front, provide as much information in your profile as you can without going overboard, and don’t lock anyone in a conversation from the jump. If you initiate by giving them the option to respond or ignore, it cuts down on potential awkwardness and it softens the sting of rejection. It also displays that you’re not trying to hide anything, and that’s a very important impression to make if you want someone to like you as a fuck, or a partner, or a friend.
That being said, I’m not some guru on dating and hooking up. I’m sure there are lots of strategies that work for other people that I just don’t know or that don’t work for me.
But try not to take anything too seriously online. It’s not worth getting too invested in the opinion of someone who doesn’t really know you at all. I think another thing to remember is that people often think/say they want one thing, but they’re not in touch with what they actually want or don’t want. I don’t look for friends because I have plenty, but I still make new friends sometimes. It’s just something that seems to happen organically.
The harsh reality is that good looking and athletic people are usually attracted to each other, but there are always exceptions, and anybody that’s worth your time is going to be a little more complex than that. I gravitate toward people who take good care of themselves, and sometimes those guys are very stocky bearish types. I think looking healthy is way more important than looking pretty. I sometimes joke that I’m looking for a soldier, not a prince.
If I remember correctly, someone once told Iris Apfel “You’re not pretty, and you’ll never be pretty, but you have something much better. You have style.” And I think that’s a great way to think. You might be overweight or whatever, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be magnetic, desirable, or good-looking.
Hope I said something helpful!
