How do you know a person is gay, really?

maxcok

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I only fight with those who I must to defend myself and those I love; and then I fight to the death. Fighting for kicks is primitive and I do everything to avoid it.

Honorable warlords always choose their battles wisely.
What the hell are you talking about?? What's with all the primitives and the stone wheels and the warlords and such? And who's fighting? Whatever it is, I think I'll disengage now.
You fight the ones you love 'to the death'?






You are very confusing, but you still have a nice dick. I would think after the third time you would at least say thank you. I don't say it that often, y'know.
 

AlphaSpartan

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What the hell are you talking about?? What's with all the primitives and the stone wheels and the warlords and such? And who's fighting? Whatever it is, I think I'll disengage now.
You fight the ones you love 'to the death'?






You are very confusing, but you still have a nice dick. I would think after the third time you would at least say thank you. I don't say it that often, y'know.
That's the first time I've seen you say something positive to me (unless I have overlooked). I do humbly appreciate the compliment.

I am a follower of heavy/power metal culture, many of us turn to teachings of the greatest conquerors and wise men as guidance in our own lives. I'm sorry for confusing you, I often forget this culture (though I feel it is great) is not and probably will never be a popular one. And to clarify: I was saying I'd fight to the death for my loved ones. Peace, brother.
 

maxcok

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That's the first time I've seen you say something positive to me (unless I have overlooked). I do humbly appreciate the compliment.

I am a follower of heavy/power metal culture, many of us turn to teachings of the greatest conquerors and wise men as guidance in our own lives. I'm sorry for confusing you, I often forget this culture (though I feel it is great) is not and probably will never be a popular one. And to clarify: I was saying I'd fight to the death for my loved ones. Peace, brother.
Oh, okay, so you live in a fantasy world peopled by primitives who foot pedal stone wheeled carts, though they have heavy metal music, and are ruled over by honorable conquering warlords and wisemen. Is that about right? Now I think I'm starting to understand. And I though I was confusing to people. Peace be also with you.


Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you could benefit from some more social interaction with real flesh and blood people. IMHO.
 

crossy

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Gaydar is totally unreliable. The macho police chief where I used to live is as gay as a Disney Cow. He eventually "came out" after an incident.
 

lopo2000

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Well that's wrong. I never told anyone I was gay, I just kind of figured it out when I hooked up with a dude and didn't find it all that bad. I got drunker, sucked his dick, and by God I figured out then that I had some homosexuality in me.

After that my gaydar started getting a LOT better. I used to think it didn't exist, or that all homosexuals were completely obvious. So far the best way to tell, in my opinion is to shoot him an original compliment on something you can tell he does to make himself look better, like his hair or belt, while avoiding hitting on him by continuing platonic conversation. He will give you eye contact and depending on his response and the way he responds (looking away or not, appreciating or not, trying to act like they really did/didn't like the fact that you complimented them and not succeeding at acting, etc.)

Here's my take: gay men will try to figure out if your gay. Pick up on that however you will. Eyes, questions, answers, etc. The most efficient gaydar knows the different kinds of gay to pick up on:
a) Insecure gay (usually not fortunate with looks). Baggy clothes, out of style, real low hat, etc.
b) Inspector gay. Checks you out, then checks if you're gay by starting a conversation or responding quickly and interestingly/flirty to one you started.
c) Twink. You know.
d) Overly-straight acting gays. Kind of like the insecure kind but better with women and feeling safe in their closet.

All those you can check right from the first sight of the guy. Then after you know them for a while theres always:

e) Friend who "knows" you don't know he's gay and acts like he just wished he could tell you something but never would or always puts it off (or some variation).

It's not 100% but if a straight person is comfortable with their sexuality completely they usually wont be any of these. I'm sure someone is about to tell me they aren't either, but eh, it's my gaydar and I do what I can with it.

I actually am so impressed with your reply! And sadly, I might be the first category. lol...

I have a question, so let's say I compliment a closeted gay, what is his most likely response?
 

closetbi

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I can't predict what a response would be, but at that point it's a lot easier to ask yourself "is this person taking a compliment like a gay person or not?"
 

SomeGuyOverThere

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Except for the effeminate gays, I don't think it's possible to really reliably tell from a distance.

Body language can be a give away - watch how they act around others and how they react to other people who show interest in them. In general, when one person finds another attractive, they'll lean in towards them and make an effort to make physical contact. Further they'll give plenty of eye contact, and their eyes will tend to move in a triangular pattern from the other person's right eye, to their left eye to their mouth and back again. They'll also smile more than usual and try and block off other people by standing in between them and the person they are trying to woo.

If you don't see them interacting, and don't interact with them, then i doubt there's any way to tell.

But the thing about body language is that it won't tell you other things, maybe the guy is closeted and doesn't recognise his own feelings, or maybe they're just very comfortable with that person, good friends will often touch and smile a lot and that isn't necessarily sexual.
 

rob_just_rob

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You can't tell, short of following them around and making notes as to who they're having sex with.

It comes down to self-identification, and even that (as one can see by spending any time at LPSG) can be notoriously misleading.
 

closetbi

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Yes asking is the only way to know how the identify themselves openly. But if you're asking then your intentions are revealed way too early and most of the fun is gone.
 

D_Hacffurthe Eatprick

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Yes asking is the only way to know how the identify themselves openly. But if you're asking then your intentions are revealed way too early and most of the fun is gone.
Not necessarily. It's quite flattering to be given a lot of attention by a handsome, well-built guy. It's your right to know their intentions so that you don't accidentally hurt anyone's feelings by misreading the signals. Some straight guys I know are very warm and tactile towards me and other males and could be/have been mistaken for being gay. Fortunately I know them and have not made that mistake but others don't and several have misinterpreted their actions. These guys are comfortable enough in themselves to laugh it off and to not take offense but the other person would have probably felt like a fool and very embarassed.
 

Rowan Ravenseed

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Hey Vigarus can i be very warm and tactile with you? heheheheh

Yeah so I think this is a bit of a loaded question that could maybe do with some breaking down.

Because the word gay is an inaccurate word so is the word gaydar. The mindset of any gay or bisexual identifying person toward their own sexuality is always an extremely complex thing. As with heterosexual men and women.

So if sexual identity is an amalgamation of psychology and biology then gaydar must be the same.

So on the psycology side of thing you could say gaydar is a complex ability to read subtle body language and key social signals people give to indicate they are sexually available to that person, on a biological side as the article the poster has linked Solving the Mystery of Gaydar | Psychology Today indicates that there is also a chemical componant to "gaydar"

Both of these explain why many str8 men claim not to have gaydar on the psycological side of things reading the minutia of body language requires a strong sense of intution and sensativity two traits that were untill recently discourages in men

and on the chemical side of things of the brain is not familiar with recieving this particular chemical signal then it would go unnoticed in much the same way as humans dont recognise the chemical signals of bees or ants
 

B_Nick4444

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Not necessarily. It's quite flattering to be given a lot of attention by a handsome, well-built guy. It's your right to know their intentions so that you don't accidentally hurt anyone's feelings by misreading the signals. Some straight guys I know are very warm and tactile towards me and other males and could be/have been mistaken for being gay. Fortunately I know them and have not made that mistake but others don't and several have misinterpreted their actions. These guys are comfortable enough in themselves to laugh it off and to not take offense but the other person would have probably felt like a fool and very embarassed.


what he said -- I noticed I was being observed by this eye-popping, mouth-watering hunk this morning at the gym, but I have no idea if he is gay or straight

all day I've been replaying his image in my head, and he has gotten my juices flowing in a way I rarely experience

it's maddening, because I can't tell, and didn't have time to engage him in conversation

He was working out not too far from me, and I made it clear I was open to establishing eye contact.

I must have been trying to finish up my "Good Mornings" too quickly, because I suddenly pulled my hamstring and had to leave

In pain, I packed my gear and was walking out the dressing room doorway, paused to take a sip, and guess who showed up at the fountain at the same time

Coincidence? Not by coincidence?

It's maddening ...
 

kit_kat

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I have pretty good gaydar - if I think this is the coolest, funnest and most emotionally developed guy ever he usually turns out to be gay.
 

WatchStr8Sex

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Who really cares about people's sexuality?

We are all sexual beings - some gay, bi straight and not always completely defined - some people are straight but can have gay or bi experiences and every combination of the vast sexual panorama.

To define someone is like putting them in boxes - it is doomed to fail because human sexuality cannot be confined like that.

If people are sexual beings - that is the more important aspect

WatchStr8Sex
 

lopo2000

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Hey Vigarus can i be very warm and tactile with you? heheheheh

Yeah so I think this is a bit of a loaded question that could maybe do with some breaking down.

Because the word gay is an inaccurate word so is the word gaydar. The mindset of any gay or bisexual identifying person toward their own sexuality is always an extremely complex thing. As with heterosexual men and women.

So if sexual identity is an amalgamation of psychology and biology then gaydar must be the same.

So on the psycology side of thing you could say gaydar is a complex ability to read subtle body language and key social signals people give to indicate they are sexually available to that person, on a biological side as the article the poster has linked Solving the Mystery of Gaydar | Psychology Today indicates that there is also a chemical componant to "gaydar"

Both of these explain why many str8 men claim not to have gaydar on the psycological side of things reading the minutia of body language requires a strong sense of intution and sensativity two traits that were untill recently discourages in men

and on the chemical side of things of the brain is not familiar with recieving this particular chemical signal then it would go unnoticed in much the same way as humans dont recognise the chemical signals of bees or ants

You got your point there bud. I agree with you, but is there evidence (research finding, etc) that says gays have biological components? I am gay but I have a hard time searching for the reliable source for this...

Not necessarily. It's quite flattering to be given a lot of attention by a handsome, well-built guy. It's your right to know their intentions so that you don't accidentally hurt anyone's feelings by misreading the signals. Some straight guys I know are very warm and tactile towards me and other males and could be/have been mistaken for being gay. Fortunately I know them and have not made that mistake but others don't and several have misinterpreted their actions. These guys are comfortable enough in themselves to laugh it off and to not take offense but the other person would have probably felt like a fool and very embarassed.

True, very true... Furthermore, in my country asking just like that can be offensive already... gays are not welcome here...

what he said -- I noticed I was being observed by this eye-popping, mouth-watering hunk this morning at the gym, but I have no idea if he is gay or straight

all day I've been replaying his image in my head, and he has gotten my juices flowing in a way I rarely experience

it's maddening, because I can't tell, and didn't have time to engage him in conversation

He was working out not too far from me, and I made it clear I was open to establishing eye contact.

I must have been trying to finish up my "Good Mornings" too quickly, because I suddenly pulled my hamstring and had to leave

In pain, I packed my gear and was walking out the dressing room doorway, paused to take a sip, and guess who showed up at the fountain at the same time

Coincidence? Not by coincidence?

It's maddening ...

Boy, how lucky you are! I really hope you meet him the second time though...

Who really cares about people's sexuality?

We are all sexual beings - some gay, bi straight and not always completely defined - some people are straight but can have gay or bi experiences and every combination of the vast sexual panorama.

To define someone is like putting them in boxes - it is doomed to fail because human sexuality cannot be confined like that.

If people are sexual beings - that is the more important aspect

WatchStr8Sex

Well, it may be true for your condition, but can't be generalized to mine. Sexuality issue is kinda black/white matter in my place here...

I have pretty good gaydar - if I think this is the coolest, funnest and most emotionally developed guy ever he usually turns out to be gay.

You mean straight guys don't develop emotionally?
 

Phil Ayesho

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Next time you are being fucked in the ass... look down toward your own crotch...
Do you have a dick?

If yes, then you are gay.

This is an almost surefire method.
 

D_Stony_Scrotalump

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I myself as a straight gay, break every gayradar ability. I like fashion, am emotional, like to make eye contact and am funny. So those qualities are things that not many but rarely some straight guys have. So check those off your gaydar list.