How do you know a person is gay, really?

[Roark1976]

my gaydar is so good that sometimes i can tell that they're gay before they even know it. or at least curious.
years in the south have made me pretty efficient at separating the weak ones from the herd.

 

[lopo2000]

I myself as a straight gay, break every gayradar ability. I like fashion, am emotional, like to make eye contact and am funny. So those qualities are things that not many but rarely some straight guys have. So check those off your gaydar list.

I'm in love with you already... I love emotional guy...

 

[B_Nick4444]

Boy, how lucky you are! I really hope you meet him the second time though...

Thanks! I'm still drooling, fantasizing, and dreaming of the possibilities, but I should mention I've been through this before, to find out the guy's interest is non-sexual

Which is why my best friends are all straight, and not coincidentally good-looking and hot

 

[B_Lightkeeper]

If they sing "show tunes" while getting fucked? :wink:

 

[lopo2000]

Thanks! I'm still drooling, fantasizing, and dreaming of the possibilities, but I should mention I've been through this before, to find out the guy's interest is non-sexual

Which is why my best friends are all straight, and not coincidentally good-looking and hot

I don't know why, but besties with straight guys always caused me troubles...hmmm

 

[Mustimus]

You cant never know.Coz I had a big big trouble about this in the past.

 

[lopo2000]

You cant never know.Coz I had a big big trouble about this in the past.

If you don't mind sharing?

 

[dong-in-khakis]

..with me the bottom line is you can't tell 100% for certain and know for sure in your mind that you're right until you're given that "sign". In my experiences over the past three years it seems safe to say that you can "feel" it coming from the other person. There are different types of gay men, for example, feminine and masculine, which make it hard to distinguish at times. The last time I thought I "felt" something coming from a guy, I was right. It's the look on his face and the movement of and the direct or indirect expression of his eyes.

The particular guy I'm speaking of I noticed immediately. He caught my attention right away and I felt he saw the look in my eyes. I felt I saw it in him as well. The next time I saw him, his face looked sort of like "omg, there he is" or something. When I signed his form that day, I looked up at him to give him the paper, he nervously looked around for a second, then back at me and gave me the quickest and sexiest wink I've ever seen.

To me it's always in the facial expression and in the eyes. I may be wrong but I believe that's pretty much accurate.

 

[B_Lewis1]

do what I do
Grab your crotch in a subtle way at least 4 times while talking to him

if he looks 2 out of the 4 times hes gay

that sounds rediculous but so telling

 

[maxcok]

..with me the bottom line is you can't tell 100% for certain and know for sure in your mind that you're right until you're given that "sign". In my experiences over the past three years it seems safe to say that you can "feel" it coming from the other person. There are different types of gay men, for example, feminine and masculine, which make it hard to distinguish at times. The last time I thought I "felt" something coming from a guy, I was right. It's the look on his face and the movement of and the direct or indirect expression of his eyes.

The particular guy I'm speaking of I noticed immediately. He caught my attention right away and I felt he saw the look in my eyes. I felt I saw it in him as well. The next time I saw him, his face looked sort of like "omg, there he is" or something. When I signed his form that day, I looked up at him to give him the paper, he nervously looked around for a second, then back at me and gave me the quickest and sexiest wink I've ever seen.

To me it's always in the facial expression and in the eyes. I may be wrong but I believe that's pretty much accurate.

Lopo, I think Dong here has given you one of the best well-reasoned and serious answers. You should also take into account cultural differences, as you say in your country it's taboo to outwardly express homosexual interest. Even if a guy has those tendencies, he may be conflicted, or in a situation where he feels he needs to cover it up. Even if a guy is comfortable with his orientation, you might get entirely different signals depending on whether or not he is attracted to you.

Bottom line, in the absence of surefire gaydar, your best approach is to try to get the guy in a private setting and feel him out (not literally, though that sometimes works). At the end of the day, if he has not shown you clear interest, you just have to ask. Good luck.

 

[scottbud]

As a straight guy I have to say there is no such thing as gaydar (it is as valid a statement as some of the pontifications above) but I am both bemused and amused when gay men who work in public: sales assistants, health "professionals" and other assorted work when a gay man "assumes" I am straight and deliberately goes out of his way to act like an arsehole. If the cap fits. This doesn't apply to all homosexual but saddly there is some secret league that a minority belong to who just try to make everyone awkward. I am not making assumptions I am reporting on experiences.

Wow thats weird If I think a hot guy is straight I try even harder to be nice! cause straight guys are soooo hot!

 

[lopo2000]

Thank you guys, now what I need is to sharpen my gaydar skill. Faces, eyes, movement, etc. Thank you guys!

 

[maxcok]

Wow thats weird If I think a hot guy is straight I try even harder to be nice! cause straight guys are soooo hot!

Ooooh yeah, especially like the one you just quoted.







God, I hope you're being sarcastic.

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

if a man is smoother than me, he is probably gay... that's how i can tell. oh, and if his nails and eyebrows are shaped better than mine too.

 

[joeweekend]

It's totally a matter of gut instinct. Which is rarely truly wrong.

 

[B_Lonely]

I found myself that I can't tell if someone is gay. Perhaps my gaydar is broken! I would find it interesting to see if someone could peg me as gay if they met me on the street.

 

[Rikter8]

do what I do
Grab your crotch in a subtle way at least 4 times while talking to him
if he looks 2 out of the 4 times hes gay
that sounds rediculous but so telling

I had a guy at work do this in front of me constantly...

Finally I stepped back and said, dude, why do you keep grabbin your crotch - you got Crickets or something??

But then it gave me an excuse to check it out too

 

[D_Harvey Schmeckel]

I can only talk for myself and say I don't have gaydar. If it weren't for the internet I wouldn't get laid at all!

Hello! I had a wonderful stay in your city at the Broadlands Hotel for a couple of weeks many years ago. See my entry above in this thread. Could it be that India just does not have enough of an emergent gay community, movement, identity, whatever, for people to find/recognize one another easily?

Pardon my ignorance but I have never been as perplexed about sexual signals in my life as the six weeks I spent in India. So much male/male physical and emotional intimacy, but it never stuck me as gay in the Western sense.

 

[lopo2000]

I had a guy at work do this in front of me constantly...

Finally I stepped back and said, dude, why do you keep grabbin your crotch - you got Crickets or something??

But then it gave me an excuse to check it out too

So, your seemingly non-interest is a cover... hehehe

 

[D_Stony_Scrotalump]

Thanks for liking my emotional side, girls and guys usually mistake me for being gay. My eyebrows tend to be fixed and I have a young face. And I'm an emotional guy as well. It just kind of pisses me off when guys usually don't want to be my friends since they think most of the time I'm gay because I usually give eye contact as well when I speak. So it doesn't mean anything when guys give you eye contact it just means they respect your opinion.

Also the fashion thing is a huge stereotype. I myself am fond of the fashion industry so it means nothing about a guys interest in that type of industry.