How do you know if they are gay?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Himura, Nov 1, 2009.

  1. Himura

    Himura Member

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    Ahh! I have the worst gaydar in the world. A lot of the guys that I think are gay are the ones I want to be gay the most!

    I've been out for about 8 months, and I believe that I am ready to start dating. I live in Texas and go to college. Can anyone think of some ways that you can tell if a guy is gay? Any ways to tell if a woman is gay? (For those of you :D)
     
  2. voidout

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    why don't you look up some local, if there is any, gay nights at the clubs or bars, etc etc...
     
  3. Himura

    Himura Member

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    I'm talking about random situations when you meet people that you would be interested in knowing if they are gay or not.

    thanks though :)
     
  4. Principessa

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    I think it will take time for you to acquire good gaydar now that you are out. Mine has waxed and waned over the years. However, since that whole ridiculous metrosexual trend, unless a man is flaming like a Weber grill, I have no clue.
     
  5. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I agree with you completely. If they come on to me, then I think maybe that's the best indication. But sometimes drunk straight guys come on to me also. Good luck to you.
     
  6. bored2009

    bored2009 Member

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    From your avatar i would definitely come on to you if i was drunk and straight. Hot body. ;-)
     
  7. D_Portelay Porquesword

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    It is hard to tell these days. I avoid that situation by placing no expectations on anything or anyone.

    I met someone recently that passes for straight. I would have never known if not for the fact he asked me out. LOL

    Good luck
     
  8. SomeGuyOverThere

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    Effeminate men used to be the obvious ones, but the metrosexuals muddy the water a lot. I have a friend who I was pretty sure was gay, turns out he has a girlfriend (damn!).

    The way to do it is watch their eyes - eye contact can mean many things, but is usually just directness and confidence. However if a guy gives you eye contact then has a quick glance at the rest of you, then back up to eye contact, that's the classic "check out".

    There are some subtle tells too: Again with the eyes, if they, when talking to you, alternate between giving you eye contact and looking at your mouth, that's a subtle sign of attraction. Similarly fiddling with phallic objects (bottles, cans, pens) when talking to you can be a sign of attraction, but it can also be nervousness.

    There are some general body language tells too, but they're very subtle and situational, and hence, difficult to explain.

    If it's just a random in the street, straight guys just glance at guys they pass to see if they know them, gay guys tend to look for a second longer to judge their looks.

    My gaydar is a bit shit, I have to analyse people :p
     
  9. voidout

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    that's what i'm sayin'.
     
  10. bigbulgelicker45

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    My gaydar's so bad people have to remind me that I'm gay.
     
  11. MercyfulFate

    MercyfulFate New Member

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    There was a study on facial recognition based on sexuality, and people could almost always pick out who was gay.

    It's generalizing, but there is a difference if you can spot it.
     
  12. Rowan Ravenseed

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    I'm not an expert but generally if some-ones attracted to you then either they will will lots of eye contact but wont be able to keep eye contact unless they want you to know in which case they will constantly be staring you in the eyes.

    The best sign of attraction though is touching.... if they frequently touch themselves or you generally thats a sign of attraction.... men will tend to re-adjust themselves more than usual if there attracted to some-one.

    If im attracted to some-one i tend to laugh a lot and fidget with my hair constantly brushing it out of my face ( although im relativly masculine when im attracted to some-one or trying to flirt i tend to behave more like a female would)

    Physical contact is a good sign though generally some-one who is attracted to you will make lots of physicall contact with you....
     
  13. MercyfulFate

    MercyfulFate New Member

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    The touching part is true, a waiter at a restaurant my girlfriend and I frequent likes to touch me on the shoulder or arm, a lot. My girlfriend thinks it's adorable, haha.
     
  14. malkavian_astraga

    malkavian_astraga New Member

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    I have a pretty good gaydar, and I can't explain to u how I can tell whose gay and who isn't. But I have to deal with a lot of closet cases in my career field, and have found that u just know who isn't and who is gay. A general word would be in most cases unless ur in an area where gay people constantly frequent, I have found the guy to be str8. U can no longer just look at a guy and say,"he's feminine so he's gay" since metrosexuals have become a larger group of people in society. But many of those guys don't tend to take offense to being asked if u aren't sure. Don't project on guys cuz that can be disapointing. If ur attracted to a guy, don't be upset to find he's str8, most guys are. Also, if u give someone enough alcohol they generally speaking don't care who they are sleeping with. J/K. I know that wasn't too helpful but some people are just born without gaydar.
     
  15. jockmaestro

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    I think you should just take the guy's dick out of your mouth and ASK HIM! ; )
     
  16. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

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    Jon, I just finished responding to your blog post, but my reaction here is, "If they "come-on" to you then just how "straight" can they be.

    I'm gay, so maybe I just don't understand straight boy boundaries too well.

    This subject is of particular interest (and pain) to me because a couple of years ago I had a great deal of trouble with a guy at work who it seemed very much had a crush on me and seemed to actually hit on me on at least one occasion (which involved, it seemed, very suggestive, intimate, though not genital, touching.)
     
  17. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

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    And that means. . .?
     
  18. Symphonic

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    You can't. Gaydar is imaginary. Either that or I am a fluke that trips off many of these radar systems.
     
  19. D_Harry_Crax

    D_Harry_Crax Account Disabled

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    Well, here's how you know someone is gay. I met a high school senior today on a university campus, I didn't know he was gay and never said, he didn't know I was gay and I never said (and I easily pass for straight until you watch me and listen to me closely for a while), but within 2 minutes of talking with him, he mentioned that the Democrats need to do something about same-sex marriage and Don't Ask/Don't Tell.
     
  20. Himura

    Himura Member

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    lol... so see if they are democrats?

    I actually think that's a good idea
     
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