Forgive this post, but it is done in a moment of panic. I just received an e-mail from my parents reminding me that my birthday is on Monday a week from tomorrow. I have always hated my birthday and want forget about it and wish others would do the same. This parental e-mail was for lunch on Monday. I have long ago been distanced from my parents. They were distant to me as a child without a thought. They were happiest in the Studio 54/club set while posing as the dutiful country house family upstate. I liked my parents best when they were models on the catwalk or getting ready for glamorous parties. That made sense to me. That I could understand. On the catwalk or in a club they were doing something which needed to be done. I begrudgingly attended the cocktail parties as the cute child that was well dressed and said nothing but smiled and was charming and was sent back to the hotel room alone. I realize that people have endured horrific abuse as children and I know about being beaten as a child so I don't mean to sound stupid. As an adult I decided that my parents were not people that I would want to know, knowing what I know about them. It seems as though when they figured that out they realized they were extraordinarily inept parents and thought they might try to be 'good' parents in my adult life. I could not want anything less. It causes me tremendous stress to be obligated to spend three days a year with them at Christmas and if I could get out of that I would be more relieved than anyone here can imagine. The thing is that things have gone badly for me financially and even though I just asked them for help and they said "no." I wonder if I still oblige them with at least Christmas. Birthday? That having been said, I know how they change their wills and wonder if I have to do this to MAYBE inherit later. The fact is I have been held hostage by them my entire life and I am tired of it. So I will RSVP no birthday lunch just because and hope I can have some out of town 'interview' or party that I have to be at. Jesus Christ. Never put yourselves above your children would be the moral of this pathetic story. Sorry to bother. But there you go.