How do you refer to the guy you share your life with?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by earllogjam, Jan 9, 2008.

  1. earllogjam

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    I've heard all these before...

    Partner
    Lover
    Husband
    Friend
    Significant Other
    Boyfriend
    Mate
    Spouse

    Each has its nuance and everyone has a preference for the term they commonly use.

    Which one do you use and why do you like it? Any terms bother you?
     
  2. midlifebear

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    In Spanish it's relatively easy "mi pareja." Doesn't matter if you're talking about your wife or your husband, the noun is always feminine.

    In English I just introduce him as my husband.
     
  3. Drifterwood

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    The Chancellor of the Exchequer (IRS to you guys I think).
     
  4. oberon902

    oberon902 New Member

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    I've used every one of those terms in various situations and the term was used for that situation. I certainly wouldn't say "my lover" to people I didn't know and "boyfriend" seems a bit immature. I think I probably use "significant other" abbreviating it to "sig other" more than any other term since it doesn't have a gender connotation. However, outside of terms, I most frequently call him by his given name or "Dr." since he's an MD.
     
  5. Principessa

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    non-existent :frown1:
     
  6. Fire Agate

    Fire Agate New Member

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    same:tongue:
     
  7. B_Monster

    B_Monster New Member

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    POOKEEEYYYY...... Im horny, (Victor,Victoria.)
     
  8. B_Hung Muscle

    B_Hung Muscle New Member

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    Good question.

    I generally try not to refer to him as "my" anything. Call me crazy, but it sounds way too heterosexual and possessive.

    So, if we're out somewhere, I introduce him by his name without defining him in relation to me.

    If forced, though, I'll say "my partner."

    By the way, you're adorable, earllogjam....
     
  9. Industrialsize

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    I call him my "husband"(we're from massachusetts and are legally married)
     
  10. Bbucko

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    I'm single now, but during my last relationship, we used the term "partner" more or less by default, even though I find it tepid and brittle.

    Previous relationships were "lover", but it used to have broader connotations. Now it sounds like all one does with a lover is fuck, but at one time it meant a combination of "partner", "lover" and "best friend".

    I use "husband" only with irony, unless the guys involved have actually been married in Massachusetts, Canada or overseas.
     
  11. Not_Punny

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    Q: What does a bull call his main squeeze?
    A: His significant udder.
     
  12. earllogjam

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    Hotmilf *groan* :tongue:

    I like the term "friend" and use it quite frequently in mixed settings but it is a bit ambiguous when you at a gay party, where I usually use the term "partner". The term does leave me cold though - reminds me of a business arrangement of sorts. "Friend" works for the most part but the problem with "friend" is that it doesn't imply any sort of commitment or seriousness to a relationship. "Special Friend" makes it sound like you shacked up with someone who is mentally retarded.

    I avoid the terms husband, spouse, and boyfriend because they seem too conventionally hetrosexual and imply a sort of masculine/feminine dynamic which there is none. "Mate" implies procreation so I don't use that. "Lover" seems too sexual and "Significant Other" seems too preciously politically charged to feel comfortable.

    My better half?....hmmm.
     
  13. ManlyBanisters

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    I kinda like the phrase 'my man'. It's more grown up than boyfriend - unfortunately I feel it sounds a bit fake / forced in my accent - I use 'friend' too, when I want to be ambigous. But then I'm not a gay man - so prehaps your question wasn't aimed at me (?)
     
  14. earllogjam

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    "my man" sounds OK for a gal to say but if a guy says "my woman" it sounds odd, like he's a neanderthal living in a trailer park.
     
  15. ManlyBanisters

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    I always think of the Blues when I hear 'my woman' - the words 'my woman' should always be followed by the phrase 'done left me'. :rolleyes:

    But is it better or worse than 'my girl' or 'my lady'. Both are a bit passé - but less neanderthal than 'my woman'. I've heard lesbian couples using 'my woman' - sounds OK in that context. Would you use 'my man' for your partner?
     
  16. Lex

    Lex
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    I think you should call him whatever you are both comfortable with. I don't like "lover" as it does not speak to the permanence of the relationship.

    I have used many of the other terms in different situations, although you will see me mostly refer to Bubba as my Hubby or Husbear.

    The more you post and the more I read, the more I am happy that you are here. Thoughtful, balanced, mature posts.

    Very nice to post with.
     
  17. beretta8

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    I kind of like "other half" I usually introduce him by his name
    I abhorr "lover" its just so movieish or romance novelly
    My family refers to him as my "friend" which is fine I guess....they could say
    "and this is his cocksucker......"
     
  18. earllogjam

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    lol - what about "my little woman" *cringe*

    "My girl" seems a bit sappy now, a bit too adolescent first romance for me. And "my lady" conjures up knights and damsels in distress.

    I've only used "my man" in a campy kind of way while joking with friends. It sounds a bit like Jane referring to Tarzan.
     
  19. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I like husband, if it's applicable.

    Otherwise I see nothing wrong with boyfriend. It is what it is.

    How do the genders involved make a difference?
     
  20. earllogjam

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    I like that word, "Husbear", seems to be a nice medium. Maybe we need to come up with some new words insead of borrowing names that don't fit quite right.

    "My Bubba" seems to work too.
     
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