How do you refer to the guy you share your life with?
- Thread starter earllogjam
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jeff black
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rob_just_rob
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My sort-of girlfriend. She doesn't find that endearing, though, so I may need to give her a new title :wink:
LMAO, maybe when you aren't around....
The term "husband" implies that you are legally married which most gay guys are not. "Boyfriend" is another one of those hetrosexual borrowed terms to describe gay relationships. I'm not sure why these gender based terms bother me but it probably has to do with choosing our own terms for our own relationships. Much like preferring the term "gay" over homosexual or the term "black" over negro.
What about the term Ms. Quasi-Right?
Maybe you can say it with a sweet inflection in your voice.
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It depends on the situation, the people we are with, and the "comfort" level as to whether it is necessry to reveal such private information.
We live an outwardly straight life, nd have done so for more than 20 years. Only a small number of very select and trusted friends know our situation. so, you can say we are very deep in that well known closet. And, we (he more than I)are quite comfortable there.
If it is within a group of people with whom we "both" (and I stress "both")feel comfortable, and a qualification is indeed necessary, then I usually introduce him by his name and add, "my life partner." But, usually I just give his name with no further information provided.
In other situations, he is just introduced by his name.
"Husband" I dislike since it implies marriage and that I am the "wife" ( and v.v.), which I find extremely offensive.
"Spouse" also implies marriage.
"Boyfriend" I could have used when I was a pre-teen, but not now.
"Partner" could be taken as a business relationship.
"Lover" is too....well I just don't like it since we are so much more to each other than lovers!
"Sigificant other" and "Mate".... implies you couldn't think of anything else.
However, "Friend," and sometimes "Best Friend" (depending on the situation) are good catch-all terms and I use them a lot, because we indeed are Friends....and Best Friends.
We live an outwardly straight life, nd have done so for more than 20 years. Only a small number of very select and trusted friends know our situation. so, you can say we are very deep in that well known closet. And, we (he more than I)are quite comfortable there.
If it is within a group of people with whom we "both" (and I stress "both")feel comfortable, and a qualification is indeed necessary, then I usually introduce him by his name and add, "my life partner." But, usually I just give his name with no further information provided.
In other situations, he is just introduced by his name.
"Husband" I dislike since it implies marriage and that I am the "wife" ( and v.v.), which I find extremely offensive.
"Spouse" also implies marriage.
"Boyfriend" I could have used when I was a pre-teen, but not now.
"Partner" could be taken as a business relationship.
"Lover" is too....well I just don't like it since we are so much more to each other than lovers!
"Sigificant other" and "Mate".... implies you couldn't think of anything else.
However, "Friend," and sometimes "Best Friend" (depending on the situation) are good catch-all terms and I use them a lot, because we indeed are Friends....and Best Friends.
I always say boyfriend. On occasions where I'm feeling onery, I'll say significant other.
I was engaged once... the guy always got offended when I continued to refer to him as my boyfriend as opposed to my fiance after we got engaged. WTF? Is it really all that different?
I was engaged once... the guy always got offended when I continued to refer to him as my boyfriend as opposed to my fiance after we got engaged. WTF? Is it really all that different?
When I was married husband, when it was a long term guy I was seeing boyfriend although calling him my bf always made me feel about twelve, I wouldn't call someone I was seeing a lover because to me that denotes the relationship is only about sex.
Can I borrow him? I'll supply the maid outfit.
I call my guy Mr. Snoozan on here, but generally just my husband. I'm glad there are gay couples using the terms "husband" and "wife." I honestly feel that it's a very special comittment that shouldn't be the exclusive territory of those of us who (whom?) the goverment allows to legally marry.
Maybe the Swedish folks here could help? A friend of mine from Sweden said they have a word for someone who is more than a friend but less than a spouse however it always means someone with whom someone else is romantically involved.
Principessa
Expert Member
I always say boyfriend. On occasions where I'm feeling ornery, I'll say significant other. hmmm, okaythat's interesting.
Yes, it is. By calling him boyfriend rather than fiance you were pretty much saying you didn't want to get married, at least not to him. Or he may have felt that you were ashamed of him in some way.
Traditionally when a young woman becomes engaged she is so happy she wants to shout it from the mountain tops. The fact you insisted on still calling him your boyfriend was pretty much a death knell for the relationship. :frown1:
How about sweetheart?
Damian Johnson
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Hey thanks Hung Muscle, that's something coming from you, and it's good to know I'm in the same league as Cabbage Patch Kids, Hello Kitty and baby bonnets.
If Damian was the guy I shared my life with, I'd call him my Sexy Bitch :tongue::wink:
