How do you tell gay guys you arent interested..
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Charlie14 @ Nov 7 2005, 06:35 PM) [post=358940]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>
What do you mean "maybe your gay"? Wouldn't I know if I was gay? Or are you just giving me a hard time?
[/b][/quote]
"they" are probably giving you a hard time, but not the hard time "they" would like to give you! LOL
part of this site is about having some fun and thus diminishing the tension some sexual topics can inculcate within ourselves.
as for guys always flirting with you, etc........i dunno. i am told that i am pretty handsome, etc, but i have never had many guys or girls flirt with me. some people just give off certain vibes or scents that say "i am kind and i will not be mean to you regardless of if i like you in a special way or not." you should feel good about it, not insulted....these guys find you attractive enought to actually tell you so. and they're risking rejection to boot.
they'll understand if you are not gay and are not into them. just be nice about it is all.
What do you mean "maybe your gay"? Wouldn't I know if I was gay? Or are you just giving me a hard time?
[/b][/quote]
"they" are probably giving you a hard time, but not the hard time "they" would like to give you! LOL
part of this site is about having some fun and thus diminishing the tension some sexual topics can inculcate within ourselves.
as for guys always flirting with you, etc........i dunno. i am told that i am pretty handsome, etc, but i have never had many guys or girls flirt with me. some people just give off certain vibes or scents that say "i am kind and i will not be mean to you regardless of if i like you in a special way or not." you should feel good about it, not insulted....these guys find you attractive enought to actually tell you so. and they're risking rejection to boot.
they'll understand if you are not gay and are not into them. just be nice about it is all.
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You can do one of a number of things:
1) Feel revolted scared uncomfortable or whatever you choose and tell em to fuck off, either directly or indirectly
2) Realise that either their gaydar aint working properly and its incorrectly picked up signals you may be interested or pursuadable, or that they are too thick, predatory or whatever to realise you aren't up for anything and tell them to fuck off either directly or indirectly.
3) Recognise that you're hot for some guys and (women), take it as a compliment, and give a friendly/playful "sorry but not for me" response.
Personally its just a question of regonising that all guyz "hit" on men/women that are not reciprocally attracted and that unless the pursuer is being dense a playful hey not thanks is all that is needed. That way both parties have some fun out of it.
1) Feel revolted scared uncomfortable or whatever you choose and tell em to fuck off, either directly or indirectly
2) Realise that either their gaydar aint working properly and its incorrectly picked up signals you may be interested or pursuadable, or that they are too thick, predatory or whatever to realise you aren't up for anything and tell them to fuck off either directly or indirectly.
3) Recognise that you're hot for some guys and (women), take it as a compliment, and give a friendly/playful "sorry but not for me" response.
Personally its just a question of regonising that all guyz "hit" on men/women that are not reciprocally attracted and that unless the pursuer is being dense a playful hey not thanks is all that is needed. That way both parties have some fun out of it.
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Charlie14 @ Nov 7 2005, 12:07 AM) [post=358781]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>
How do you let gay guys know you aren't interested before they make a move on you? Is there some secret sign that let's gay guys know you aren't interested no matter what?
Also, do gay guys have somekind of super power to be able to tell if a guy is big even when he has baggy clothes on?
[/b][/quote]
Just say, "No. Thanks."
As for your second question... I think you are a fucking idiot to ask something like that.
How do you let gay guys know you aren't interested before they make a move on you? Is there some secret sign that let's gay guys know you aren't interested no matter what?
Also, do gay guys have somekind of super power to be able to tell if a guy is big even when he has baggy clothes on?
[/b][/quote]
Just say, "No. Thanks."
As for your second question... I think you are a fucking idiot to ask something like that.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Charlie14 @ Nov 6 2005, 09:07 PM) [post=358781]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>
Is there some secret sign that let's gay guys know you aren't interested no matter what?[/b][/quote]
Yes. But if we told you what it was, it wouldn't be a secret anymore.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Also, do gay guys have somekind of super power to be able to tell if a guy is big even when he has baggy clothes on?[/b][/quote]
Yes.
Is there some secret sign that let's gay guys know you aren't interested no matter what?[/b][/quote]
Yes. But if we told you what it was, it wouldn't be a secret anymore.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Also, do gay guys have somekind of super power to be able to tell if a guy is big even when he has baggy clothes on?[/b][/quote]
Yes.
- jonb,
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Charlie14 @ Nov 6 2005, 09:07 PM) [post=358781]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>
How do you let gay guys know you aren't interested before they make a move on you? Is there some secret sign that let's gay guys know you aren't interested no matter what?
Also, do gay guys have somekind of super power to be able to tell if a guy is big even when he has baggy clothes on?
[/b][/quote]
Simplest solution: When he makes a move on you, tell him he's not your type. Most gay guys can take a hint.
How do you let gay guys know you aren't interested before they make a move on you? Is there some secret sign that let's gay guys know you aren't interested no matter what?
Also, do gay guys have somekind of super power to be able to tell if a guy is big even when he has baggy clothes on?
[/b][/quote]
Simplest solution: When he makes a move on you, tell him he's not your type. Most gay guys can take a hint.
Recognise an advance as flattery: accepting a compliment doesn't mean you accept the proposition. Decline politely. A bit of courtesy speaks better of one's character than a display of outrage or indignity. Just because a gay man finds you attractive doesn't mean he assumes that you're gay, but how will he know whether or not you're interested unless he offers? He asks, you say, "No, thanks," and that's the end of it. No muss, no fuss.
Sounds like some guys are kind of sensitive aobut this subject.
If some of these guys weren't so persistent I probably wouldn't vcare.. but it seems like some of these guys think that if they are persistent enough I will change my mind.. that's why I was wondering if there is some way I can let guys no I am 100% repressed.
But anyway.. nevermind.. I guess I'll just deal with it..
As for the guy that called me an idiot.. overreact much? I think that anyone that would overreact like that is a fucking idiot.
If some of these guys weren't so persistent I probably wouldn't vcare.. but it seems like some of these guys think that if they are persistent enough I will change my mind.. that's why I was wondering if there is some way I can let guys no I am 100% repressed.
But anyway.. nevermind.. I guess I'll just deal with it..
As for the guy that called me an idiot.. overreact much? I think that anyone that would overreact like that is a fucking idiot.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Charlie14 @ Nov 6 2005, 09:07 PM) [post=358781]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>
How do you let gay guys know you aren't interested before they make a move on you? Is there some secret sign that let's gay guys know you aren't interested no matter what?
Also, do gay guys have somekind of super power to be able to tell if a guy is big even when he has baggy clothes on?
[/b][/quote]
I'm sorry. You 're really making me laugh at your questions.
In answer to your first question: How would you let a WOMAN know that you were not interested? Use the same method on guys.
In answer to your second question: No there are no secret powers. There must be something about your outward appearance that people( both men and women ) find attractive.
I hope that you can be as tactful in turning away gay men as you would be in turning away a woman who isn't your type. That's a quality that everyone can admire. Good luck.
How do you let gay guys know you aren't interested before they make a move on you? Is there some secret sign that let's gay guys know you aren't interested no matter what?
Also, do gay guys have somekind of super power to be able to tell if a guy is big even when he has baggy clothes on?
[/b][/quote]
I'm sorry. You 're really making me laugh at your questions.
In answer to your first question: How would you let a WOMAN know that you were not interested? Use the same method on guys.
In answer to your second question: No there are no secret powers. There must be something about your outward appearance that people( both men and women ) find attractive.
I hope that you can be as tactful in turning away gay men as you would be in turning away a woman who isn't your type. That's a quality that everyone can admire. Good luck.
I'm sorry. You 're really making me laugh at your questions.
In answer to your first question: How would you let a WOMAN know that you were not interested? Use the same method on guys.
Aren't there ways to let other guys know you are gay? Why is it so strange to think there might be a way to let guys know you aren't gay?
![<]()
In answer to your second question: No there are no secret powers. There must be something about your outward appearance that people( both men and women ) find attractive.
Some girls say they can tell if a guy is big.. I though maybe gay guys might know even more aobut guys than girls.
I hope that you can be as tactful in turning away gay men as you would be in turning away a woman who isn't your type. That's a quality that everyone can admire. Good luck.
It seems like people assume I am some gay basher or something.. like I said. I have no problem with gay guys. I just have a problem with some guys not seeming to understand no. Like they can sell me on being gay.
In answer to your first question: How would you let a WOMAN know that you were not interested? Use the same method on guys.
Aren't there ways to let other guys know you are gay? Why is it so strange to think there might be a way to let guys know you aren't gay?
In answer to your second question: No there are no secret powers. There must be something about your outward appearance that people( both men and women ) find attractive.
Some girls say they can tell if a guy is big.. I though maybe gay guys might know even more aobut guys than girls.
I hope that you can be as tactful in turning away gay men as you would be in turning away a woman who isn't your type. That's a quality that everyone can admire. Good luck.
It seems like people assume I am some gay basher or something.. like I said. I have no problem with gay guys. I just have a problem with some guys not seeming to understand no. Like they can sell me on being gay.
I'm surprised no one has picked up on this aspect of the message. The emphasis below is mine:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Charlie14 @ Nov 7 2005, 12:07 AM) [post=358781]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>How do you let gay guys know you aren't interested before they make a move on you?[/b][/quote]
If they haven't actually done anything to indicate an interest, then it's presumptuous of you to jump to conclusions.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Charlie14 @ Nov 7 2005, 12:07 AM) [post=358781]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>How do you let gay guys know you aren't interested before they make a move on you?[/b][/quote]
If they haven't actually done anything to indicate an interest, then it's presumptuous of you to jump to conclusions.
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Charlie14 @ Nov 7 2005, 05:07 AM) [post=358781]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>
How do you let gay guys know you aren't interested before they make a move on you? Is there some secret sign that let's gay guys know you aren't interested no matter what?
Also, do gay guys have somekind of super power to be able to tell if a guy is big even when he has baggy clothes on?
[/b][/quote]
Starting off from the top, I simply make it known to them that I'm hetero and hetero alone. Personally, I have no problems with gay men as friends, I work with one, my sister's male friend is, and he makes more money than I ever could.
Tho, for one guy who just wouldn't quit after I had a bad day at work and I was waiting at the bus stop, he asked for my #, so I gave him one that explained his future with me if he didn't understand my dis interest: 911-187.
Look, I know it may've sounded brusk, but my tact factor after the bad day at work had diminished down to a sugar granule, so don't anybody think that's how I'd react all the time.
How do you let gay guys know you aren't interested before they make a move on you? Is there some secret sign that let's gay guys know you aren't interested no matter what?
Also, do gay guys have somekind of super power to be able to tell if a guy is big even when he has baggy clothes on?
[/b][/quote]
Starting off from the top, I simply make it known to them that I'm hetero and hetero alone. Personally, I have no problems with gay men as friends, I work with one, my sister's male friend is, and he makes more money than I ever could.
Tho, for one guy who just wouldn't quit after I had a bad day at work and I was waiting at the bus stop, he asked for my #, so I gave him one that explained his future with me if he didn't understand my dis interest: 911-187.
Look, I know it may've sounded brusk, but my tact factor after the bad day at work had diminished down to a sugar granule, so don't anybody think that's how I'd react all the time.
If they haven't actually done anything to indicate an interest, then it's presumptuous of you to jump to conclusions.
Actually, it isn't presumptuous.. because they HAVE in fact made moves on me. What I wanted to know is if there was some way to prevent guys from making moves on me.
I never assumed anything about anyone. It's not like I am imagining people hitting on me or making lewd comments.
Just forget it.. I am sorry I even asked.
Next time I will just give someone a warning not to cross the line and if they do then I will put them in the hurt locker.
Actually, it isn't presumptuous.. because they HAVE in fact made moves on me. What I wanted to know is if there was some way to prevent guys from making moves on me.
I never assumed anything about anyone. It's not like I am imagining people hitting on me or making lewd comments.
Just forget it.. I am sorry I even asked.
Next time I will just give someone a warning not to cross the line and if they do then I will put them in the hurt locker.
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Charlie14 @ Nov 8 2005, 05:14 AM) [post=359089]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>Aren't there ways to let other guys know you are gay? Why is it so strange to think there might be a way to let guys know you aren't gay?
![<]()
[/b][/quote]Well, first, you need to get rid of all your Dolce and Gabbana...
Seriously, speaking from a gay man's perspective, there's no real secret here. Gay men take the time to notice other guys. If I feel like I'm being "checked out" by some guy, even if it's only very casually, I assume the guy is gay. Other men are more or less invisible to straight men.
I also believe that a lot of guys would be seriously put off by an advance from another man. (That's the point of this thread.) I can't speak for all gay men here, but I'd say that I err on the side of caution, unless I'm certain that the guy is gay, I wouldn't assume that he is. How would I know? See above...
If gay guys are just checking you out, there's not a lot you can do about it, that's what gay guys do. And it's not because they think you're gay, it's because they find you attractive. And you should really try to take it as a compliment. But if you feel like you're being approached by gay men, my guess is that they're sensing "checking you out" signal.
Seriously, speaking from a gay man's perspective, there's no real secret here. Gay men take the time to notice other guys. If I feel like I'm being "checked out" by some guy, even if it's only very casually, I assume the guy is gay. Other men are more or less invisible to straight men.
I also believe that a lot of guys would be seriously put off by an advance from another man. (That's the point of this thread.) I can't speak for all gay men here, but I'd say that I err on the side of caution, unless I'm certain that the guy is gay, I wouldn't assume that he is. How would I know? See above...
If gay guys are just checking you out, there's not a lot you can do about it, that's what gay guys do. And it's not because they think you're gay, it's because they find you attractive. And you should really try to take it as a compliment. But if you feel like you're being approached by gay men, my guess is that they're sensing "checking you out" signal.
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Charlie14 @ Nov 8 2005, 08:46 AM) [post=359083]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>
Sounds like some guys are kind of sensitive aobut this subject.
If some of these guys weren't so persistent I probably wouldn't vcare.. but it seems like some of these guys think that if they are persistent enough I will change my mind.
[/b][/quote]
I know exactly what mean. But being that you know that no matter how persistent they are, they arent going to change your mind, why not be secure in that fact and simply ignore them. Regardless of what they might "think" will happen, you already know that its out of the question. The only time I feel anxiety over something is if I'm afraid that somehow, something may happen that I really did not want to happen. Why waste any of your energy on what there thinking.....you know it'll never happen. Being your secure in knowing this, you shouldnt allow there unwanted attention and non-physical advances to bother you.
Sounds like some guys are kind of sensitive aobut this subject.
If some of these guys weren't so persistent I probably wouldn't vcare.. but it seems like some of these guys think that if they are persistent enough I will change my mind.
[/b][/quote]
I know exactly what mean. But being that you know that no matter how persistent they are, they arent going to change your mind, why not be secure in that fact and simply ignore them. Regardless of what they might "think" will happen, you already know that its out of the question. The only time I feel anxiety over something is if I'm afraid that somehow, something may happen that I really did not want to happen. Why waste any of your energy on what there thinking.....you know it'll never happen. Being your secure in knowing this, you shouldnt allow there unwanted attention and non-physical advances to bother you.
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Charlie14 @ Nov 8 2005, 10:05 AM) [post=359127]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>
If they haven't actually done anything to indicate an interest, then it's presumptuous of you to jump to conclusions.
Actually, it isn't presumptuous.. because they HAVE in fact made moves on me. What I wanted to know is if there was some way to prevent guys from making moves on me.
I never assumed anything about anyone. It's not like I am imagining people hitting on me or making lewd comments.
Just forget it.. I am sorry I even asked.
Next time I will just give someone a warning not to cross the line and if they do then I will put them in the hurt locker.
[/b][/quote]
I know how you feel. I have the reverse problem. I have plenty of straight women groping my chest, ass, and crotch. Even though I have boyfriend(s), these oblivious women always ask when am I going to get a "woman" and get "settled down" and have "children". ( Like that is what I dream of every waking hour. Note: This is sarcasm.) I don't like the hassles either. Charlie, how about this for a solution--you send those guys to me and I will send these women after me to you. Charlie, I want to highly recommend that you DO NOT put these men in "the hurt locker". Some gay men are actually into violence and brute force. Added sexual turn-on. I know that you are pretty frustrated. I get frustrated as well with the women thinking that they can change me as well. You can't control people's behavior. People like what they see that's all.
I just tell people that come on to me that I'm not interested in: I'm not interested. Stop pursuing me. Then I make myself unavailable. Then for those persistent persons without a clue--I make a call to the police and have them handle it. You aren't going to stop men or women from admiring you if they think that you are sexy to them. That's what is so weird about sexual attraction. So the best thing I can say about your dilemma: make yourself as unattractive and as unavailable as you can to the one who is admiring you. Go to some different places. Be around some different people. Away from the one you are having problems with. Invisibleman
![<]()
If they haven't actually done anything to indicate an interest, then it's presumptuous of you to jump to conclusions.
Actually, it isn't presumptuous.. because they HAVE in fact made moves on me. What I wanted to know is if there was some way to prevent guys from making moves on me.
I never assumed anything about anyone. It's not like I am imagining people hitting on me or making lewd comments.
Just forget it.. I am sorry I even asked.
Next time I will just give someone a warning not to cross the line and if they do then I will put them in the hurt locker.
[/b][/quote]
I know how you feel. I have the reverse problem. I have plenty of straight women groping my chest, ass, and crotch. Even though I have boyfriend(s), these oblivious women always ask when am I going to get a "woman" and get "settled down" and have "children". ( Like that is what I dream of every waking hour. Note: This is sarcasm.) I don't like the hassles either. Charlie, how about this for a solution--you send those guys to me and I will send these women after me to you. Charlie, I want to highly recommend that you DO NOT put these men in "the hurt locker". Some gay men are actually into violence and brute force. Added sexual turn-on. I know that you are pretty frustrated. I get frustrated as well with the women thinking that they can change me as well. You can't control people's behavior. People like what they see that's all.
I just tell people that come on to me that I'm not interested in: I'm not interested. Stop pursuing me. Then I make myself unavailable. Then for those persistent persons without a clue--I make a call to the police and have them handle it. You aren't going to stop men or women from admiring you if they think that you are sexy to them. That's what is so weird about sexual attraction. So the best thing I can say about your dilemma: make yourself as unattractive and as unavailable as you can to the one who is admiring you. Go to some different places. Be around some different people. Away from the one you are having problems with. Invisibleman
Having a gay guy come on to you -- you should hope this is the biggest insult you receive this week.
I'm just trying to imagine a gay guy ever saying: "I'm going punch the shit out of any woman who flatters me and shows interest in a little nookie."
I'm just trying to imagine a gay guy ever saying: "I'm going punch the shit out of any woman who flatters me and shows interest in a little nookie."
HungMuscle, I'm surprised you haven't figured out yet - it's ok to punch the brains out of a gay guy who accidentally blinks his eyes in your direction, but it's not ok for a woman to punch a man who continues to grope her after she says no, or for a gay guy to get bent if a woman persists and insists he just hasn't had the right woman.
I posted a thread a while back about the dichotomy, but very few thought it was interesting enough to reply. I was basically asking if people thought it was ok for a woman in a bar to torture and kill a man simply for making a move on her (in the style of the "gay panic" defense in murder trials - think "Matthew Shepard.")
I posted a thread a while back about the dichotomy, but very few thought it was interesting enough to reply. I was basically asking if people thought it was ok for a woman in a bar to torture and kill a man simply for making a move on her (in the style of the "gay panic" defense in murder trials - think "Matthew Shepard.")
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