How do you tell gay guys you arent interested..

Charlie14

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I wanted to apologize if I offended any gay guys.. that was not my intent. I guess I could have explained myself a little better in the first post.

I hadn't considered it from your perspective and how you probably get a lot of bad reactions when you try to meet people.

I am not one of those types of people. It just seems that I have met some very very persistent and imo rude guys.

If someone came up to me and just said I was good looking or hot and asked me out and I said I wasn't interested and it ended there it would be different...

I simply thought there might be some way of nipping the problem in the bud.. or that maybe I could understand why guys seemed to be singling me out..
 

DC_DEEP

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No offense taken, charlie. I was just amused that if you changed the genders & orientations around a bit, it is something women have complained about since the beginning of time.

I'm sorry that you have met an unusual number of guys who persist after you say "no thanks." But ya know, women have to deal with that same thing, he always thinks she means no except him. How should she react when he asks her for the third time to dance?
 

Sabln7

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I am older, not a particularly good looking man, and not hung at all, and yet, my whole life, men and women both have been very open about touching me, hugging me, approaching me. My best friend is always amazed when we are out at the number of folks who touch or come on to me. (He is much more attractive.) He says his father was like me, and he thinks that some people exude a phremone that makes them seem more approachable. I suspect that the real reason is that I carry myself with an attitude of openness, give people eye contact and smile, and am generally just nice to people, even strangers. As far as handling the ones who approach you and in whom you are not interested, just say, "I am not interested, sorry." or "I am in a committed relationship, sorry." Most folks will back off.
 

DC_DEEP

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Sabln7 said:
I suspect that the real reason is that I carry myself with an attitude of openness, give people eye contact and smile, and am generally just nice to people, even strangers. As far as handling the ones who approach you and in whom you are not interested, just say, "I am not interested, sorry." or "I am in a committed relationship, sorry." Most folks will back off.
Excellent, Sabln7. I believe that most people (if they really want to) can tell, from across the room, how open and approachable another person is. Seems like Charlie is approached more, though, by those who don't want to make the effort to "read" him, and by some bizarre stream of coincidences, those who can't take "no" for an answer.

Even when I was trying to convince myself and others that I was straight, I never understood the playing-hard-to-get game. Time after time, I would ask some girl out, she would say no, and I would go on my merry way - only to find out later through friends that she really wanted me to pursue her. I just figured no meant no. I guess that's part of my frustration with the whole rape issue, too. Straight men are trained in their early years that no could possibly mean yes, then just a few years later, they have to unlearn that early training. So much easier just to be straightforward and honest in such matters - if you want it, say yes. If you don't, say no. And if someone tells you no, then go no farther with it.
 

Matthew

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Charlie14 said:
I wanted to apologize if I offended any gay guys.. that was not my intent. I guess I could have explained myself a little better in the first post.

I hadn't considered it from your perspective and how you probably get a lot of bad reactions when you try to meet people.

I am not one of those types of people. It just seems that I have met some very very persistent and imo rude guys.

If someone came up to me and just said I was good looking or hot and asked me out and I said I wasn't interested and it ended there it would be different...

I simply thought there might be some way of nipping the problem in the bud.. or that maybe I could understand why guys seemed to be singling me out..
I'm gay and, like most people, I have been pestered by both men and women that I was not interested in. The few who don't take no for an answer are unquestionably annoying. In my experience the latter are mostly men, although I did once have a woman grope me at a Bee Gees concert :eek: . I think it's just one of those annoying things in life. Now, if the person is physically intimidating or threatening you, it's a whole different ballgame; but that doesn't sound like what you were describing, Charlie14.

I bet you're not being singled out - guys hit on guys all the time, and we can't always tell the straight ones from the gay ones (sometimes the straight "why the fuck are you looking at me" stare is eerily similar to the gay "i'm cruising you really hard" stare). Personally I don't hit on guys I know are straight. Why bother?
 

Freddie53

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I read through the posts and you are wondering what and why some gays might be coming on to you. You admitted you are big and the outline shows in tighter pants. You can tell in baggy pants if you watch the person walk. Also there is the smile, the cute ass. the perfectly porportioned body. Your handsome as hell dude with a wodnerful personality to boot! I'm jealous!

And there is a wonderful personality that is accepting of people. Something you have control of. Don't change. It is your greatest strength. People feel comfortable around you. Just accept that people feel like you are their best friend. All the posts are correct. Jacinto's post was the best in that regard. (DoubleMeatWhopper).

You can acknowledge a compliment without accepting the advace. Last I heard homosexuality is not a virus and you can't catch it. And most gay guys are more sensitive than straight guys. Be kind, decline, and move away graciously. Move away means strike some distance even if you are still talking slightly distance your physical body from his physical body even if only two or three inches. Don't ever move in closer.

And no, this is not the time to check out a guy's package. I know you want to know if he is hung. All guys do, straight or gay. This is one time to keep you eyes on the head that is on the neck, not the head on the dick.
 

Alley Blue

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Matthew said:
sometimes the straight "why the fuck are you looking at me" stare is eerily similar to the gay "i'm cruising you really hard" stare. Personally I don't hit on guys I know are straight. Why bother?

You've REALLY hit the nail on the head. This is exactly where I think the confusion lies. Some people who claim there "gaydar" is so acute really are way off in picking up the *right* signals. Some guys confuse a beignine glance for "I wanna f*ck you like an animal".

Perhaps the look of benignity and lust can easily be confused.......

PS.

Charlie14, I asked this earlier, and I'll it again, are you really all that big to point were people can clearly see a "huge" outline in your pants??? How big are you?
 

Charlie14

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Alley, I am almost 11 inches long and super thick. Even when soft I am about the same thickness -- which is close to a soda can. But I wear tight underwear and baggy clothes. I did that even before the guys made moves on me.
 

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I don't think that kind of bulge can completely be hidden. oh yeah when you are motionless in baggy pants in front of the mirror yes. But as you move around and the pants rise and fall. Yeah a cock like that is going to show to those who are watching.

Which is why this is a Large Penis Support Group. And it has turned out to help all guys. I have learned to accept that I am not large. And the really large guys like you rarely brag. They have issues themselves. And the really hung rarely consider a not hung guy as any less of a man. Some would change places. Like Some women have breat reduction surgury.

You do your best to not fluant it and don't worry about it. Let it be the other guy's problem, not yours.
 

panthera

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It seems like people assume I am some gay basher or something.. like I said. I have no problem with gay guys. I just have a problem with some guys not seeming to understand no. Like they can sell me on being gay.[/quote]
I think some of the defensiveness you are picking up on here results from something gays experience frequently. With very few exceptions, it is okay for my straight friends to talk - sometimes in passionate detail - about their interest in people of the opposite sex. But when I comment on what a beautiful ass that new guy at the garage has or how well I'd fit in the cashier's big mouth then its too much intimate detail. So a lot of us tend to overreact.
A gentleman who is attracted to you will cease and desist if you ask him to nicely. A jerk won't. You are under no obligation to explain anything. If the polite refusals (Thanks, but no thanks. - I'm only into women. - Sorry, not into guys but thanks for asking. - Glad you want to get to know me, but I don't want to have sex with you.)
don't do it then feel free to say something like: "Leave me alone. I am not interested in sex with you or any other man."
If that or something equally strong and direct doesn't do it you are dealing with someone who is way out of line. It is not gay bashing to tell them to leave you alone or you are calling the cops.
You are not gay bashing, you are just asking realistic questions.
As to the secret powers thing. Hmm. I think I posted here once that when I am single and out looking I always go for it. I hate the scene passionately so am out and about in mixed society. I succeed about 1 out of 5 times. Two of the "no thanks" come from straights - and they tell me so directly. So, nope, sorry, no secret powers here. Just a man - and we men tend to go for it. Women do, too - just in other ways.
As for being hung and obvious - gad, this is getting long - I am, it shows and you know what? To hell with what anybody thinks about it. If a guy wants to see - and straight guys are often curious - I show him. If he wants more, he gets it; if not then no problem. Over here in Europe it is no big thing; that's just another fucked up American problem.
 

Alley Blue

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Charlie14 said:
Alley, I am almost 11 inches long and super thick. Even when soft I am about the same thickness -- which is close to a soda can. But I wear tight underwear and baggy clothes. I did that even before the guys made moves on me.

An 11 inch, beer can flaccid dick.....wow, maybe they stare out of disbelief?
 

panthera

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...I have it! Those men trying to "pick you up" aren't gay. They're straight! They just think that IS a beer can in your pants...I mean, what motivates a straight man? Beer, Football, Sleep, Food, Sex.
In that order.
(Just joking folks, don't flame me....)
 

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Charlie14 said:
Also, do gay guys have somekind of super power to be able to tell if a guy is big even when he has baggy clothes on?

I don't know about other guys, but that superpower was bestowed upon me when I was given my copy of the gay agenda (which I seem to have misplaced recently).

But seriously, folks...

OP, take it as a compliment that you're attractive enough for gay men to hit on, and don't worry that you're unconsciously sending out some kind of signal that you're gay or bi. You're in the same boat as a pretty girl who's happily married to the love of her life. Do you think straight guys stop hitting on her, many just as agressively and rudely as you're being hit on by gay men? That's just the way guys are, and simply because a man is gay or bisexual doesn't change that. You must know a pretty girl who gets hit on all the time by guys she isn't interested in. Ask her how she handles it.
 

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panthera said:
It seems like people assume I am some gay basher or something.. like I said. I have no problem with gay guys. I just have a problem with some guys not seeming to understand no. Like they can sell me on being gay.
As for being hung and obvious - gad, this is getting long - I am, it shows and you know what? To hell with what anybody thinks about it. If a guy wants to see - and straight guys are often curious - I show him. If he wants more, he gets it; if not then no problem. Over here in Europe it is no big thing; that's just another fucked up American problem.[/quote]

When did you say you were coming to America? Let me know when "Show and Tell" is coming to my area of the United States. I want to be there. I want to "sample" your goodies. LOL
 

Alley Blue

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panthera said:
...I have it! Those men trying to "pick you up" aren't gay. They're straight! They just think that IS a beer can in your pants...I mean, what motivates a straight man? Beer, Football, Sleep, Food, Sex.
In that order.
(Just joking folks, don't flame me....)

I think your on to something there!:D
 

panthera

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Freddie53 said:
As for being hung and obvious - gad, this is getting long - I am, it shows and you know what? To hell with what anybody thinks about it. If a guy wants to see - and straight guys are often curious - I show him. If he wants more, he gets it; if not then no problem. Over here in Europe it is no big thing; that's just another fucked up American problem.
When did you say you were coming to America? Let me know when "Show and Tell" is coming to my area of the United States. I want to be there. I want to "sample" your goodies. LOL[/quote]
Freddie, I'll make a deal with you. You impeach Bush, I'll come visit. Whaddya think?:D
 

GoneA

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panthera said:
When did you say you were coming to America? Let me know when "Show and Tell" is coming to my area of the United States. I want to be there. I want to "sample" your goodies. LOL
Freddie, I'll make a deal with you. You impeach Bush, I'll come visit. Whaddya think?:D[/quote]

I'm down for that.
 

panthera

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GoneA is done for what? For me? And all this time I thought you were...oh, now I get it. Never mind, just never mind.
 

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On the occassions I have been approached by another man who seemed to be "hitting on me" I treat them the same as any lady who has approached me and for whom I am not interested in pursuing. I smile and thank them for the attention and tell them I am not interested. Some folks will take that easily and like anything, some folks are harder to dissuade and discourage. I try to be nice and just let them no that I am not interested in any circumstance. Most folks will accept that.