I'm not bi, but I think for the purposes of this question, my perspective might help. If not, well, just disregard it!
Well, the only reason to tell her is if you intend on having sex with guys while you're in a relationship with her. If not, does it matter? If so, are you worried she would be more upset that you are attracted to men, or that you are going to have sex outside your relationship?
Bottom line is, there is no other way to tell her than to just tell her. One of my best friends decided many years into his marriage that he was bi - he kinda figured it out when he kept meeting with guys on the downlow and eventually contracted HIV. At that point, he told his wife. Two things here - he was so in denial about what he was doing that he never actually practiced safe sex; and he probably never would have told his wife he was cheating, except he now has an incurable disease that he couldn't hide from her.
My point is - have integrity, don't attempt to manipulate or control the situation. If you feel like you must tell your truth, then that is what you must do - simply, and from a place of inner strength and compassion for yourself and for her. That's kinda always the case, actually, for any personal truth, BTW.
Good luck. Remember that you might lose her over this - but if so, then she's not the one for you anyway.
She might... But it won't change who you are, any more than you can change who she is. If she has a problem, then you are incompatible on a fundamental level. And you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with somebody who you're not completely ccompatible with.Thanks all for you great replies. You hit all the points. My main concern is that she would take it badly. She already knows that I don't mind anal play but I don't know what will happen if I go further.
I agree..if you havent actually done anything sexual with a guy why bring up something that can potentially ruin your relationship?? Its just like a guy in a hetro relationship telling his partner, he likes the look of another girl or finds her attractiveDon't. You're not active with guys? She doesn't need to know same way you don't need to know if she finds women attractive.
May be, just maybe, I want to be who I am? If she doesn't loves me, or belives that I'm gonna cheat on here, thats not because I'm bi, is because she unable to trust me and understand me.I agree..if you havent actually done anything sexual with a guy why bring up something that can potentially ruin your relationship?? Its just like a guy in a hetro relationship telling his partner, he likes the look of another girl or finds her attractive
( which we men do at times) and then it all goes pear shaped!!
We are allowed to admire and be attracted to and even watch porn and have a wank to a screen..... do we have to tell our wives and girlfriends everything?? Dont cross the bridge before you even get to it....only causes damage. If on the other hand it gets sexual.. you may wanna indicate something.
Thing is, these ladies know anyway! They just dont wanna hear you say it. They feel they need to react if its said
Suggest you have an MFMF with a bi couple. Then let nature take its course. If she has another gal sucking her nipples or clit, she will be OK with you sucking the other guy's cock.