How Does It Feel To Be A Woman Of Color On This Site?

Juiceypeen

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This question was inspired by recent events. With black women being at the top when it comes to recent political action and being the most consistent toward positive change in more than a few areas. I figured i'd ask women of color on this site what it's like being here. If you exist here that is. So far, haven't seen you. Should of course get around to checking out the entire site but how's it going?

What has been some of your experiences here? When i say women of color. I don't just mean black/african america.
 

MickeyLee

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Some ladies might not want to spotlight their ethnic background cuz of the fairly blatant exotification and fetishizing that can happen around here.

On a broader scope, much love to the POC ladies, with all their intersectional identities, for holding it down against Trumpty and his horde. You ladies pulled us all together, carried a good deal of the weight and sadly faced much of the backlash.

Smooch to the ladies registering voters, to the ladies organizing rallies/actions, to the ladies keeping calmer heads and focus during protests, to the ladies manning the polls, to the ladies counting votes.

Ya all wore masks, cuz ya give a damn, but we all saw ya amazing faces. Here's to seeing you on the ballots in 2022!!
 
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Fairly shite, much like anywhere else I have been. My ethnic group/demographic is almost never considered important. Others are always considered to have it "worse". So. Very few allies, and mostly ignored or dismissed. Try to talk about it, and end up talked over. Tons of hypocrites who claim to care about injustices and minorities, but in truth it is only so much lip service.

Edit: Oh. And a bunch of those same hypocrites who have the audacity, the arrogance, and the idiocy to think they know better than my demographic what would be good for us. Try to tell me what I should and shouldn't do and what is and isn't good.
 
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Scarletbegonia

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Fairly shite, much like anywhere else I have been. My ethnic group/demographic is almost never considered important. Others are always considered to have it "worse". So. Very few allies, and mostly ignored or dismissed. Try to talk about it, and end up talked over. Tons of hypocrites who claim to care about injustices and minorities, but in truth it is only so much lip service.

Edit: Oh. And a bunch of those same hypocrites who have the audacity, the arrogance, and the idiocy to think they know better than my demographic what would be good for us. Try to tell me what I should and shouldn't do and what is and isn't good.

welcome to being the new “good ethnic group.”
Once my people mainstreamed (and we can visually do so, in many cases), we were held up for that assimilation. And yes, church ladies and their ilk tried to speak for us. But, hey, we hit middle class.
When we dared to do better, we were demonized.
 
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welcome to being the new “good ethnic group.”
Once my people mainstreamed (and we can visually do so, in many cases), we were held up for that assimilation. And yes, church ladies and their ilk tried to speak for us. But, hey, we hit middle class.
When we dared to do better, we were demonized.

Koreatown riots in LA were not that long ago. Asians being harassed and/or physically assaulted, because racist fucks blame Asians as a whole for Covid is a very current issue. I have not really left my home in months, because I do not want my partner to potentially go to jail because of protecting me from someone who has no more brains than a goldfish. I do not know anything about being the new "good ethnic group".
 
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Juiceypeen

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Some ladies might not want to spotlight their ethnic background cuz of the fairly blatant exotification and fetishizing that can happen around here.

On a broader scope, much love to the POC ladies, with all their intersectional identities, for holding it down against Trumpty and his horde. You ladies pulled us all together, carried a good deal of the weight and sadly faced much of the backlash.

Smooch to the ladies registering voters, to the ladies organizing rallies/actions, to the ladies keeping calmer heads and focus during protests, to the ladies manning the polls, to the ladies counting votes.

Ya all wore masks, cuz ya give a damn, but we all saw ya amazing faces. Here's to seeing you on the ballots in 2022!!

I legit hadn't thought of that. Me speaking on the experiences of men of color regarding dick size and blacklivesmatter has already made me a bigot in the eyes of some. So i should have understood that to be the case. My bad. Not exactly the same thing but it is similar enough for me to have known and not asked. Great point.

If women of color don't want to respond out of safety and sanity i'll more than understand. This is america after all. Wish i could like you comment a thousand times.

Fairly shite, much like anywhere else I have been. My ethnic group/demographic is almost never considered important. Others are always considered to have it "worse". So. Very few allies, and mostly ignored or dismissed. Try to talk about it, and end up talked over. Tons of hypocrites who claim to care about injustices and minorities, but in truth it is only so much lip service.

Edit: Oh. And a bunch of those same hypocrites who have the audacity, the arrogance, and the idiocy to think they know better than my demographic what would be good for us. Try to tell me what I should and shouldn't do and what is and isn't good.

Just wanted to say thank you for commenting. As mickey lee said though. I unknowingly helped make women of color a target with this. So if you receive any negative comments from this i'm sorry. Hadn't thought about it in that way but now that i have i apologize. I'm also sorry you have to go through all that. And very much feel your pain as a black male. Not nearly as much since i do still have the privilege of being a male but the being black part helps me understand to a degree.
 

Scarletbegonia

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Koreatown riots in LA were not that long ago. Asians being harassed and/or physically assaulted, because racist fucks blame Asians as a whole for Covid is a very current issue. I have not really left my home in months, because I do not want my partner to potentially go to jail because of protecting me from someone who has no more brains than a goldfish. I do not know anything about being the new "good ethnic group".

There’s a reason the phrase was in quotes.
The dominant culture will hold up success (and usually phrase it in some form of in spite of themselves/their background) and laud that person as a beacon to their “race” and suggest that this “race” can almost compete with the dominant culture.
Such adulation usually results in opportunity with a huge side dish of pigeonholing.
I am supposedly good with money. I’m betting you have had the same about math.
and while it might be true, it isn’t because of genetics, but the values of our parents.

It is patronizing, can open a few more doors (change the quotas they now say don’t exist, but do), and eventually re create a more definite danger for the group after assimilation.

Because some person thinks that because someone else is gaining, they are losing, and they go after the people they believe are “taking what is theirs.”

see also, incel.
 

TinyPrincess

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In real life my skin colour has only rarely brought comments - and of those only a few (in English speaking countries) has been negative or racially biased.

Here it's sometimes different. Some like to comment on my skin colour in ways that indicate sexual fetishes or racial bias. I've had ignorant comments made by whites, blacks and Indians here. Perhaps I should look for an Asian guy - so far I can't recall a poor comment made by an Asian guy here.

It's a complete turnoff. As much as I like my looks and skin colour (I honestly think I've been pleased in regards to my looks), it's not what I like to be measured by. It's my personality that counts - not my colour or general looks.

It's the same way I measure other. Sure good looks might attract me on a night out, but if the guy isn't pleasant to be around he's out in seconds.
 

Juiceypeen

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In real life my skin colour has only rarely brought comments - and of those only a few (in English speaking countries) has been negative or racially biased.

Here it's sometimes different. Some like to comment on my skin colour in ways that indicate sexual fetishes or racial bias. I've had ignorant comments made by whites, blacks and Indians here. Perhaps I should look for an Asian guy - so far I can't recall a poor comment made by an Asian guy here.

It's a complete turnoff. As much as I like my looks and skin colour (I honestly think I've been pleased in regards to my looks), it's not what I like to be measured by. It's my personality that counts - not my colour or general looks.

It's the same way I measure other. Sure good looks might attract me on a night out, but if the guy isn't pleasant to be around he's out in seconds.

Ok. If i may. That was said about me. So i have a few questions for you personally.

Why would white people promote that another race had a bigger (? Superior) dick size? What logic is there in that?

Your issues w seeing racism everywhere verges on pathological. But I suspect you will deny that, kinda proving my point for me. We can't see our own cognitive distortions...

Do you think it's wrong for a person of color to be concerned about the well being of people of color? I ask because you liked this comment. Part of the reason i asked this question of women of color is because i wanted to see if their experiences on this site so far matched mine. Again. Considering you liked this comment. Would you say that a person of color talking about the well being of people of color on any forum is a bad thing?

Or is it that you think anyone talking about any topic is a bad thing?
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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I'm a biracial woman who looks white, generally. I've been told here in the past that I can't possibly know what it's like to be discriminated against because of my skin color. The thing is, skin color isn't the only thing people judge about Hispanic/Latin people's. I speak with what people in other parts of the country consider to be an accent. I don't sound white, and my last name doesn't either. So being told that I can't possibly understand what is like to be discriminated against simply for something I was born with (parents of different ethnic backgrounds) because of the color of my skin (which is also stupid because part of the year in white, part of the year I'm brown) has made my eyes roll on this particular site in the past.
 

Juiceypeen

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I'm a biracial woman who looks white, generally. I've been told here in the past that I can't possibly know what it's like to be discriminated against because of my skin color. The thing is, skin color isn't the only thing people judge about Hispanic/Latin people's. I speak with what people in other parts of the country consider to be an accent. I don't sound white, and my last name doesn't either. So being told that I can't possibly understand what is like to be discriminated against simply for something I was born with (parents of different ethnic backgrounds) because of the color of my skin (which is also stupid because part of the year in white, part of the year I'm brown) has made my eyes roll on this particular site in the past.

Sorry that happened to you. A lot of times people don't really understand what they're saying when they say it. Was it people of color who said this? Obviously. Women, people of color, members of the lgbtq community and so on do know what it's like to be discriminated against. With that said. Do you think there's a difference there between lighter and darker skinned people when it comes to racist treatment?
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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Sorry that happened to you. A lot of times people don't really understand what they're saying when they say it. Was it people of color who said this? Obviously. Women, people of color, members of the lgbtq community and so on do know what it's like to be discriminated against. With that said. Do you think there's a difference there between lighter and darker skinned people when it comes to racist treatment?

The person who said it to me didn't have pics up and didn't tell me what their race was. Edit: it was in the politics section a few years ago when it happened.

There definitely is, I see it every day. Darker skinned persons and people with more defined non-white features absolutely have a harder time with societal bigotry.
 

TinyPrincess

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Do you think it's wrong for a person of color to be concerned about the well being of people of color?
I know you're banned with this account but still reading ;)

Absolutely not. However I would find it problematic if a person of colour is only concerned about his/her own colour. Personally I don't care about colour - I care about people. I'm concerned about nice people - no matter their colour.
 

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I am lily white but have a fair amount of Mexican blood from my Dad's side. I had an advisor in college who chastised me that I did not list that on my college application. He said I could have received a lot of benefits in the University of Texas system. I told him I had no intention of doing that, and he got visibly upset. I guess he had a quota.

I was becoming close to a guy in one of my classes, and one night we were discussing family. He came from a pretty well known family from Houston, and I shared my Mexican heritage. Suddenly I was shut down and shut out. I know for a fact that his family has just as much Mexican blood, but it's probably not something they admit in public.

I'm the one who dodged a bullet on that one.

So, no, I'm not a woman of color, and I can hardly empathize. And it pains me to know the struggles they experience and I barely recognize unless prompted.