How does your monthly cycle impact your libido?

[shamrockfaced]

First of all, a comment: I first started visiting this site quite a long time, but nowadays I find this AaW section the place where I repeatedly come to. The ladies here are very helpful for the legit questions, and hilarious when they slap down the other crap. Much of the other stuff is very tiring.

I'm wondering, how does your libido change with your monthly cycle? And, has that changed over time (with age)?

I've been with my So for nearly 20 years and our sex life has always been very very good. My libido has always exceeded hers, but I think that is not unusual. At 40, I still have the sex drive of a 16 year old.

Over time, I have noticed that she has a time of the month where she's hot for sex with a drive that matches mine : typically about 4-5 days during ovulation time. Those are happy days. However, we don't have much sex during her period (for obvious reasons). This is expected. Now, the week before her period I have started to refer to as 'I hate you week' where her mood towards me is pretty much 'I hate you' and sex is absolutely the last thing on her mind. This has become more pronounced over time (or, it's taken me 17 years to figure it out). The other days of the month are less hot/cold and we will have sex once a day or every other day. Two weeks out of four, it's basically off limits.

Does this happen for anyone else?

The next part of the question is: are your orgasms different, during different times of the month? This week, is "I hate you week". Sex is pretty much off the table. However, last night, she knew I was very ready to go and after having some drinks we watched some porn. This got her pretty hot as there are certain videos she really likes. she ended up having a toe curling orgasm during sex. This morning, I woke her up with my tongue on her clit and she had a rocking orgasm again. It seems both orgasms were more intense than 'normal'. I wondered if they were any different because of the time of the month (not a horny time, but once it gets started it turns out well).

When I asked her about the difference, she said "don't overthink it" and went to sleep. Lol. Overthink is sort of what I do.

BTW, having sex at all during "I hate you week" is extremely rare. Twice in a day during this time has probably never happened. Maybe that's why I'm thinking about it so much.

Thoughts?

 

[693987]

I track my cycle and certain other things via an app on my phone, though I used to keep a journal. I have always had a pretty high libido, but I do generally avoid sex during menses. It just doesn't feel very good for me, not so much me being worried about mess/etc. I'm around 30 years old and notice that the unpleasant symptoms for my menses are getting worse as I age. I get more tired, have worse cramps, and the bleeding is heavier. I do still have interest in and want sex during menstruation, but the other things typically outweigh the desire. I do masturbate still during my menses, as I've noticed that orgasms seem to help it overall be shorter. Anecdotal, don't know if there's any science behind it or not. I can't say I've noticed a difference in my orgasms, whether solo or with my sweetie during that time of the month.

 

[Terriblackcherry]

I keep track of my periods also. I tend to be the most aroused 3-4 days before my cycle.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Honestly I'm so damn irregular there's no way I could find a pattern.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I can offer non menopausal but not bleeding viewpoint.

I notice the cycle by breast sensitivity, mainly. And all men are assholes (AMAA)for about five days.
Libido chills but doesn't disappear during AMAA days. It's harder to enjoy myself on those days, because I'm hating life.

 

[shamrockfaced]

I track my cycle and certain other things via an app on my phone, though I used to keep a journal. I have always had a pretty high libido, but I do generally avoid sex during menses. It just doesn't feel very good for me, not so much me being worried about mess/etc. I'm around 30 years old and notice that the unpleasant symptoms for my menses are getting worse as I age. I get more tired, have worse cramps, and the bleeding is heavier. I do still have interest in and want sex during menstruation, but the other things typically outweigh the desire. I do masturbate still during my menses, as I've noticed that orgasms seem to help it overall be shorter. Anecdotal, don't know if there's any science behind it or not. I can't say I've noticed a difference in my orgasms, whether solo or with my sweetie during that time of the month.

How many days is your menses, roughly? Do you experience

I can offer non menopausal but not bleeding viewpoint.

I notice the cycle by breast sensitivity, mainly. And all men are assholes (AMAA)for about five days.
Libido chills but doesn't disappear during AMAA days. It's harder to enjoy myself on those days, because I'm hating life.

I think this succinctly identifies what I see happening, and would explain what I've observed with the orgasm thing. For about 5 days, she's in the AMAA phase, and I'm the man in the house.

It's actually really hard at times, because it affects other areas of life. For instance, there are certain conversations that I've started deferring (regarding general life such as financial decisions etc) for a few days because we don't communicate well during AMAA. We've discussed this, and she also has talked to her Dr. Doc's response was basically, "welcome to the aging process".

On the physical side, my mood swings when we're not fucking. And when we're not getting along, it's worse. When we're making love regularly, communication and life is better for all parties. She's in complete agreement with me on this.... And then AMAA hits for those 5 days. Haha.

I think the more I learn about this stuff, the more I just need to get over it and stop having a pity party when this is happening. Since my libido is 24x7/365 (and probably only cycles between high and raging) I have found myself taking things very personally. 'why does she hate having sex with me?' 'why can't I get her in the mood, seemingly no matter what I try?'

But I just need to get over it and understand what us happening.

 

[nailz]

I have a very high libido anyway but it's even higher in the few days leading up to and even during my period. I'm on oral contraception (it's part of the reason I'm on it, before I was on the pill I had to take two sicks days from work the cramps were so bad) so it's super regular, I barely cramp and it only lasts 3-4 days.

Sometimes we have standing sex in the shower, but mostly it's just anal for those few days.
A good hard shag in the shower seems to shorten my periods even more

 

[693987]

I bleed for 2-3 days. It's typically once a month, but has stretched out to being almost two months between cycles. I get breast tenderness, want to eat everything, and am tired even before it actually starts. I've been with my sweetie for coming up on four years, and we've been close friends for nearly eight. I've asked him about mood stuff, and he says I don't really change. I don't feel like I change much either. I think I'm annoyed at stuff a tad more easily, but that's it.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

You mention aging process.
I'm 49. My current partner is 65.
Age changes on both sides.
And depression.
And work.
But you adapt.
On both sides. Some days I just want to do my guy raw, but his brain isn't in it. So the peen leaves.
Some days he's raring to go but my pain is too high or firing in inconvenient places.

Because we respect each other, and can act like grown ups, we either rain check or go with some other way to be intimate.

Are we bummed when it won't work at that moment? Yeah, sure.
But we have the next date to dream about.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I bleed for 2-3 days. It's typically once a month, but has stretched out to being almost two months between cycles. I get breast tenderness, want to eat everything, and am tired even before it actually starts. I've been with my sweetie for coming up on four years, and we've been close friends for nearly eight. I've asked him about mood stuff, and he says I don't really change. I don't feel like I change much either. I think I'm annoyed at stuff a tad more easily, but that's it.

I know there are days I cannot make relationship decisions because I'm in an altered state.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I have a very high libido anyway but it's even higher in the few days leading up to and even during my period. I'm on oral contraception (it's part of the reason I'm on it, before I was on the pill I had to take two sicks days from work the cramps were so bad) so it's super regular, I barely cramp and it only lasts 3-4 days.

I've tried so many kinds of BC. Still doesn't regulate me for some reason.

Poo

 

[C41ara]

I avoid having sex during "those days", i just don't like at all. And my libido got high after, it's like a signal to remind me the monthly cycle is over.

 

[plushbunni]

OP, you and your partner might want to look into PMDD.

Google describes it as causing "extreme mood shifts that can disrupt work and damage relationships. Symptoms include extreme sadness, hopelessness, irritability, or anger, plus common PMS symptoms such as breast tenderness and bloating."

Through my other research, this might be caused by a temporary change in hormones that causes low serotonin during the week before menstruation.

I have had to take evening primrose and sometimes anti-depressants during this stage to get a handle on it.

Sorry this as happening to y'all!

 

[AlteredEgo]

I'm not always the kindest woman during PMS, and God alone can save you if I'm hungry that week, but I am almost as horny as the week before, when I ovulated. Just before, and just after ovulation, I am more interested in sex than anything else. Even thing I really enjoy matter less to me that week. I just want to get laid. Repeatedly. During PMS that's toned down a bit, but I'm still very interested. I may have some pain to work around, and my partner has to be still in the mood despite my mood swings, or help me remember to eat so I'm not a complete asshole. I'm almost always interested, but I do have pretty extreme pain, and can't perform on those days. For me, about three days a month are completely out, because it hurts too much. I'm not worried about blood and mess.if he's not.

 

[shamrockfaced]

OP, you and your partner might want to look into PMDD.

Google describes it as causing "extreme mood shifts that can disrupt work and damage relationships. Symptoms include extreme sadness, hopelessness, irritability, or anger, plus common PMS symptoms such as breast tenderness and bloating."

Through my other research, this might be caused by a temporary change in hormones that causes low serotonin during the week before menstruation.

I have had to take evening primrose and sometimes anti-depressants during this stage to get a handle on it.

Sorry this as happening to y'all!

Maybe so. Example: last thursay night (1 day after ovulation day), we celebrated me taking friday off by staying up late and fucking all night long. Until about 3:30am, that is. We were going to do it again on Sat but were both passed out because we had a day of very intense activity (we workout alot together and ran 15 miles sat morning). Sunday night, we had sex but she was much lesss into it. By monday, she hates me and we barely speak tues thru thursday. She starts to defrost on friday and we hit it off again last night. Crazy ups and downs. I will say, sex is not everything, but we both know and agree that when we're fucking, the entire relationship goes so smooth: parenting, finance, etc. To me, the asnwer is simple : have sex everyday, 2-5 times a day! 25 days of the month shes in agreement.

Im not really complaining. We've been together over 20 yrs. Its still just confusing. Haha.

Btw, thanks for all the feedback. Increasingly i'm weirded out by this site, but this AaW forum is awesome with some hilarious and insightful posts.

 

[MickeyLee]

Thanks to head-meds my periods are few and far between, very light and last a day or two. Even before meds altered my cycle I often went months without a period, when it came it was always respectful to the rest of my body. I would get "the ovulation pinch" in the active ovary. Maybe some mild joint pain, think growing pains during my actual period. Nipple sensitivity has always been a dead give away. I walk around with rock hard, very tender nipples.

Never been one for mood swings. If anything I Spock out for shark week. I look at my impulses and reactions more carefully. I get insanely hungry, horny and domestic. Like, I will fuck the boy sway-backed, bake a cake and eat half of it by myself. I give in to wants real easy.

I swear by sex on my period. Helps shorten the duration and lessens any cramping. And the horny rides my bones. We just take a few expensive mattress precautions. There is even a set of black towels for the occasion.

Short version: ply me with sex and take-away, I am peaceful dragon all month long.