How far people will go for attention.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by DV8, Jul 4, 2011.

  1. DV8

    DV8
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    I've always enjoyed meeting and truly getting to know new people. From time to time, you meet people who aren't exactly as confident and comfortable with themselves as they may seem in the beginning. Hell, they may tell you that they share a common interest with you, in which they don't. I've even known straight men to flirt and pursue gay men just for some sort of acceptance. At some point the truth comes out, and it's stated that they only wanted the attention. I understand that no one wants to be rejected, but whatever happened to "just be yourself?"

    Anyone else experience this and get annoyed as hell? I know that we should all try to be sympathetic and understanding to others, but to what extent? Is it understandable to feel betrayed because erroneous information was provided?

    Thoughts?
     
  2. D_Tim McGnaw

    D_Tim McGnaw Account Disabled

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    It depends on how much effort I've put into the situation and what I was expecting from it. If someone gave me every reason to believe that my attention could and would lead to sex, or romance or something else mutually rewarding and then pulls the whole "whoa man, back off I was just looking for some attention"-thing then yes I'll probably be slightly or sometimes extremely annoyed, depending on how much effort I expended on the interaction.

    I'm less concerned about the misrepresentation (I mean we all do a little PR for ourselves now and then) than I am about the waste of my time and effort. Though granted if the deception is of a high order I will be pretty freaked out.

    I'd like to think I'm a good enough judge of character to always know when someone is putting on an act, and most of the time I can, though I've been spectacularly wrong on more than one occassion. But when I can tell someone isn't being 100% frank and upfront with me I tend to ask myself why they're behaving in that way. I, for instance, don't mind that someone might be insecure enough to feel like they had to put on some degree of front for my sake, as long as I can see that it's a genuine reaction to a genuine lack of self confidence but that underneath this pretence they're a genuinely gorgeous and attractive person who actually doesn't need to put an act on at all.

    However if someone is putting on an act purely to manipulate me into flattering their egos or doing something for them or otherwise conning me then I completely resent that, and tend to regard them as con artist and bullshitter.
     
  3. Kotchanski

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    It was quite common when I was in school to hear the advice:

    If you don't have confidence or experience in X, fake it and eventually you'll believe it enough to go out and get it.

    All well and good with the little things, but when this advice is handed to struggling children for any and all issues they may be having, it can lead to some seriously fucked up situations where you simply can't stop and say "Well you know I've been talking about X for 5 years... well, it's all bollocks, I was told doing this would help, but it hasn't and now I'm stuck in a circle where I have to keep up the lie or fuck up every friendship I currently have"

    It is entirely possible for an otherwise completely genuine, decent individual to get themselves stuck like this, and the terror of coming clean, even when no harm has been done to others is overwhelming.

    I'd like to think that in a situation where someone came clean to me, I'd at least remain calm while they explained themselves before deciding if the harm they'd done to me was greater than the harm they'd done to themselves.

    Blatant attention seeking however, with no other reasons behind it that might explain it, will probably end the friendship on the spot.
     
  4. rbkwp

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    Interesting topic
    Was a time when i could not get enuf of people
    In that i mean 'hands on working with people' easiest way to describe it, as i am not overly educated and by the age of 30 i was enjoying my employment as such i never had the thought of further education as part of my future apart from taking short courses relevant to the type of work i was doing
    In saying that i achieved middle management positions with ease in all my jobs, (once that happened it was time to move on, not really doing the hands on' stuff i wanted to do--bugger the xtra $ for sitting doing nothing? ha) plus had a succesful non profit business for a period taking in all maner of persons.ha
    Anyway
    getting back to the people aspect of your post
    When travelling overseas, and seing all the destitutes' thats what made my mind up to work with peoiple
    NZ at the time had full employment so i had not known people of little means, but could forsee it happening to good ole NZ ha
    Hence a carrer of working with ALL manner of lessor persons.
    THEN haha Health eventually suffered as was overdoing it really, Minister brother suggested i start looking after myself
    So i did hah semi-retired early and thats the guts of it'
    Have the odd friends who have been there and are genuine, of course many have also dropped off pursuing there own goals in life, No Worries.
    Empathy for the down & outers who dont often seek attention is perhaps a little off topic, but as important we all agree
    enz
     
  5. Bbucko

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    I don't have patience or any time left for fakers and liars; sorry if that sounds rough, but it's the truth.
     
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