how gay am I?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by rehsinup, Oct 31, 2010.

  1. rehsinup

    rehsinup New Member

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    So, here's the deal:

    I've never done anything with a man except one time in the Bay area (SF) I was pretty drunk and I had a CL ad response that actually brought a guy (CD) to my room. We didn't do more than kissing (peck) cus he felt I was too drunk ( I might have been)

    Other than that, I've had zero contact with males.

    I CONSTANTLY fantasize about being with shemales or men. I mean... a lot. I enjoy a great pussy and I eat the crap out of it, I even have a girlfriend. But, in the back of my head I always revert to this fantasy of me sucking cock and taking a large one up my butt. I want to pleasure a cock in a bad way in my dreams.

    I jack off daily... and I used to swallow my own cum, but I started not liking that a few years ago.

    I watch tons of gay and tranny porn but I can't bring myself to be with a man.

    Am I just in the closet? I started thinking about his when I opened my acct. here. 1%? 10%? 50%? 90%?
     
  2. maxcok

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    You're probably not 99% -100% straight, obviously not in your fantasies, but I think you should forget about trying to pin down your orientation to a percentage at this stage. You sound like a fairly open minded guy with a certain amount of self awareness, but you could be intimidated or conflicted on some level to move beyond your fantasies and actually do something with another man.

    Why don't you find a guy or a few different guys you feel some attraction with, give it a go a few times, and see how it feels, see how you feel? Nothing wrong with experiences, and no way to know otherwise. Just be safe and go about it in a way that makes sense to you and fits as well as it can in your normal comfort zone. Try to be relaxed, and maybe look to someone with more experience. Unless it's just a random anonymous hookup, probably would help to clue in the other guy, so he knows it's all new to you.

    Have you had any sexual interaction with men? Opportunities?
     
    #2 maxcok, Oct 31, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2010
  3. rehsinup

    rehsinup New Member

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    no interaction other than the one mentioned above. I like your advice. I almost hooked up with a dude last year but our schedules didn't match and then I just chickened out after a while.
     
  4. maxcok

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    Well, you don't need to rush into anything just to say you've done it. You'll have a better sense of how you feel in the experience if you try to keep the extraneous stressors to a minimum, and as I said, try to stay close to your normal comfort zone. Maybe start thinking about how that would work for you, what kinda guy(s) interest you, and don't be afraid to follow through on opportunities that present when it feels right.

    You don't sound like an eggshell to me. I don't think you'll shatter over a few experiences.

    Just be safe, be smart and relax.
     
    #4 maxcok, Oct 31, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2010
  5. rehsinup

    rehsinup New Member

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    thank you for the advice
     
  6. maxcok

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    You're welcome. I think it's sound. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
     
  7. D_Anton_Pavlovich_Jerkhov

    D_Anton_Pavlovich_Jerkhov Account Disabled

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    No, it really doesn't matter to define how gay you are. It is just a number, and numbers can change all the time.

    My impression is that you are not interested in a relationship with another man. You are just curious to know how it feels to be with another man. And I can only congratulate you on your courage to admit your desire, lust, curiosity, whatever. Most men won't even deal with the idea of having homosexual leanings, and most of men do anyway.

    I think that eventually you are going to have the experience you need. Just take your time, and, as the other poster said, don't rush into anything.

    Your biggest question is probably this one: how are you going to fit this new experience into your life as a "straight" man, having a girl-friend, planning on marrying her, raising a family, etc...?

    If you ask me, this is your hardest dilemma.
     
  8. maxcok

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    ^ Best not to plan on that kind of future till you sort this out first. It's not generally good to mess around with other people's feelings and expectations till you know more about yourself. I don't know whether you're in a committed, monogamous relationship, but if you are, you'll have to decide how to approach that, and whether and how much you want to reveal your feelings and fantasies. There are plenty of fellas who have wives and girlfriends, who still explore M/M experiences, sometimes even with the knowledge and blessing of their partner.







    Oh, and p.s., follow the good advice of that tranny. Don't be overly intoxicated. You want to enjoy the experience and remember it.
     
    #8 maxcok, Oct 31, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2010
  9. Florida Boy

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    I think you are gay and scared shitless about it.
     
  10. erratic

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    Yeah, don't forget your girlfriend, man. It's cool if you want to fool around with guys, but she's got to approve of it if you do it while in a relationship with her.

    As for how gay you are, well the label's up to you. I'd say you're definitely queer, though. If you enjoy women and fantasize about men you're not straight or gay. For when you are ready to fool around with a guy(s), maxcok has given you some pretty good advice.

    It sounds like you don't fit any of the bullshit stories out there that we get fed about how straight and gay people are. That's going to make things a bit more confusing for you, but don't be afraid to reach out in places like this, and don't listen to the people who will try to pigeon hole you. It's almost impossible to control what your dick gets hard over. Be honest with yourself and honest with your partners and you'll find your life gets a lot less confusing.

    Best of luck.
     
  11. FuzzyKen

    FuzzyKen New Member

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    What I don't understand is why one would want to label themselves as being anything. When the time is right and the opportunity presents itself you will figure this one out. If you force things one way or the other it just makes your time of exploration more difficult. If you find a guy you are attracted to then go for it. The same is true of a female as well. For many it is not where one can find a friendly bodily orifice. The definition does not come from sex but instead an emotional commitment to one gender or the other.
     
  12. tgirlsrgreat

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    "I enjoy a great pussy and I eat the crap out of it,"

    aim just a little further north or showering beforehand will fix that!

    okay seriously, if you want some guidance on the tgirl thing i might be able to help.
     
  13. bootyfullgirl

    bootyfullgirl New Member

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    Not sure if you want a female's perspective...but here it is. I have had experiences with men just like you...so you are not alone. I wouldn't say you are gay unless you would consider being in an actual relationship with another man. I fantasize about women all of the time, but am married to a man who fantasizes about other men ;) We were just honest with each other, and it works out great.

    I put that I am 80% straight and 20% gay..I think it fits because I don't actually do stuff with girls, but I think about it all the time and would love to! I am like you...all I have done with girls is kiss them.

    Hope this is helpful...just be honest with yourself.
     
  14. lvsxy808

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    That's what I thought too. "Ew, there must have been a nicer way of phrasing that." :eek:

    Whereas this:

    I thought, "Well, yeah of course you'll do it in a bad way to start with, but you'll get better with practise."

    And no, I have no actual advice to give. For me it was all "cock cock cock," from the moment I was aware of such things.


    .
     
  15. cocktaste

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    Dude, it's up to you to make up your mind as to what and who you are. Nobody else. I wouldn't worry about it. If you still like doing females, but also get off thinking about males, you're probably bisexual. But sexuality is fluid. Don't get freaked out about it.
     
  16. deano-uk

    deano-uk Active Member

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    All sounds good advice, from one who has had a straight relationship for many years, kids and the who nine yards, frightened to be thought of as gay cos I didn't really know any others in my area (one cos I didn't mixed in knowingly gay circles) and thought it would be a difficult life to lead... but after many years of fantasing and later chatting online, meet up the a guy about 150 miles away or more - thought try it, see what i thought and went back to the wife and nothing felt the same anymore.. I meet up with another guy fell in love, told the family, left the wife and had a few more experiences before settling down in a new town with my partner/boyfriend, we have been together nearly two years now and I am so much more relaxed and feel alive.

    So take from that what you want, I would try it first before telling the girlfriend (yes it is cheating but you may find being gay is not for you - but do tell the guy, don't make it a sleezey start, but playout and try what you are both comfortable with and go from there, then if need be tell the girlfriend, you are bi and see how she takes it... (thats if you want to continue your female relationship, you might find the cock has more power than you realise.

    Enjoy, be safe
     
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