Sucking a guy’s cock was something that was originally forced upon me. I am not sure I can discuss ages but let’s say I was at a summer place with other of my age at the time. One person was very much a bully. Chicky was his nickname and he was a brut. He really was mean and bossy. Others would try to be friendly to him, including me, but he just was a condescending type. What happened and opposite of the movies was one day I had enough and punched him. Everyone yelled, “Fight, fight” and before I even realized it I was in a fist fight that I had no chance of winning. And the opposite of movies, he didn’t back down and when he beat me up all the others congratulated him and I was left on the ground alone with a bloody lip and bruises. What made it even worse? Chicky liked to brag about girls he had fucked and having a big dick. In fact he did, it was very thick and round when soft in the showers. It was like as if two penises were pressed together to form one. I would often glance at it or cough trying to get peeks and was both jealous and fascinated. It seemed to be so unfair that a mean undeserving guy like this was better endowed than all the rest of us.
After our fight, Chicky would continue on occasion to bully me. Sometimes in the shower he would also make fun of my much smaller penis laughing and calling it a weenie. There was even an occasion or two where he took his cock and slapped it against me in front of others laughing. But, I was not the only one he did this to or picked on.
It was about a week later that we both had another confrontation and our punishment was we had to stay behind and clean this room. But, of course when everyone was gone including anybody to supervise, Chicky basically made me do all the cleaning while he laid in bed. After I had finished cleaning and now being dirty I went in the shower area to wash off. Chicky came in naked as well and suddenly pushed me against the wall. “You like my dick don’t you, I see you always staring at it. I know why; mine is so much bigger than yours-ha-ha” “Get away from me” but the way I stammered exposing with my voice my nervousness and excitement. It was true of course that I hated him but liked and admired his dick. “Look how we compare” Chicky laughed and slapped his cock hard against mine. Then he said words that I probably fantasized about but never intended to ever do, “Suck it.” He then pushed me real hard down grabbing my head and his cock brushed against my mouth as I tried to pull away. But, my gowing erect dick totally betrayed me. Chicky saw it and said, “Man you got a baby’s cock but I knew you wanted my dick, look you are hard” and he laughed. He pulled my head right at his cock and I actually only pretended to resist as somehow I was compelled and I opened my mouth and that fat cock of his even not hard totally filled my mouth. He started pushing back and forth fucking my mouth with his penis ever expanding including even growing thicker. I quickly forgot about anything else but this big fleshy penis in my mouth and loving how alive and big it felt. “Get those godamn teeth off of me, he instructed. This was the first time I had ever sucked a cock and so not being experienced I just complied with his fucking motion. Several times I chocked and coughed and he would pull back. Some might think in reading this that it was kind of a rape. But, actually it wasn’t. I knew inwardly I wanted him to take control and I wanted to suck his cock. His penis was much bigger and better than mine as he had pointed out and this all seemed correct. It didn’t take long and suddenly I felt Chicky tense up and started shooting his load in my mouth. I definitely gagged at that and then spitted the cum out almost vomiting. Chicky withdrew his cock turned to wash his cock off and without saying a word walked out of the shower. I stayed there and when he was out of sight jacked off quickly. When I came out Chicky said, “I may want you to suck me again and if you refuse I am going to tell everyone what just happened.” I said, if you tell then I never will do it again, you will get in big trouble, so you better not.” As soon as I said those words I realized I had just told him I was willing. However, after this incident and perhaps with his own concern about getting in trouble he pretty much ignored me. I would sometimes quietly masturbate in my bed under the covers late at night thinking how exciting it was to see a much bigger penis than mine and to feel its size and power in my mouth. But, I didn’t like of course the person that big cock was attached to. If anything my envy was even more wishing I had a big cock and my desire was to suck it again but it never happened. The summer soon was over. But, that incident began a trail of future experiences for me with oral sex on men.
The next time it happened was in college. A guy in one of my classes asked if I wanted to go to a bar on a Saturday night. We hung out and I think pretended to each other like we were there to meet women. But, having no success with minimal effort anyway, we eventually headed back to his apartment. We had a beer or two there and talked or probably retrospectively tested one another with conversation about being horny. “I wish there was a girl here to suck my dick” he said. “Me too” I responded not wanting to expose myself if he was straight. But it was kind of obvious and we both without having to say too much more looked at each other and then nodded and took off our pants and shirts. I was disappointed to see that he was somewhat heavy with a very hairy upper body and only very slightly larger than me in cock size. His cock and body did not turn me on at all. But, it was too late so we did like a 69 and I finished him my hand. I don’t recall that I came. This also was a onetime encounter because I did not find him or a cock like mine in the least bit exciting.
My only sexual experience with a woman came about perhaps a year later. I had started an internship at college and had to drive 4 hours to a resort to get medical records that could not be shipped. I was smart enough at this resort town area to have gotten the school to pay for a room and went on a Friday because that would not interfere with my other classes. This town had a street with a row of bars so that evening I went to several. One of them was a 3 story building and the upstairs I learned was a swinger’s bar. It was not an on premises place and mainly there were couples sitting at bars or tables I assumed to find a match. I didn’t realize all of this immediately and so had gotten a beer and was sitting alone at a table watching slowly understanding the environment. I wanted to leave feeling out of place but not so obvious. Right before I was planning to get up this older couple walked by and the guy turned to me and asked, “By yourself?” I reacted defensive at first because I wasn’t sure it was couples only. I said I was just there not knowing anything. He laughed and without prompting both he and his wife sat down. “It’s OK, it’s bi night here.” He added, “Usually that is more about women but it’s OK with guys too.” They both introduced themselves and we talked for a good 30 minutes. He acted like a host kind of explaining the place and how it worked. This was for people to have a drink, a good time, and if they hooked up that was fine but there was no on premises sexual activity. Finally he said that they were going back to their hotel room down the street and why I don’t come back with them for a drink and we could talk more. I knew they were inviting me and although I was a bit nervous having not been with a woman I found him attractive as an older man.
At their swanky hotel room we all had a drink and they asked me if I had ever done any swinging. I told them no and that actually I had never been with a woman. They were surprised, “A young guy like you, why not.” I didn’t really have an honest answer that I wanted to share. “Maybe he likes guys” his wife said. I lied and said I have had very little experience but I did have a guy friend that we did some things. “Well, let’s all get comfortable” his wife said and they quickly undressed. I neglected to mention that she was heavy set with big breasts and when he took off his pants I was really disappointed with his flabby body and dare I say little dick. It was smaller than mine by an inch in length and maybe even a bit thinner than mine too. Once I removed my clothes he didn’t hesitate and started sucking my dick. He took my hand and placed it on his. I didn’t find the small feel of it to be a turn-on in the slightest. He then moved about while his wife started massaging me and placed his little penis near my mouth. I felt obligated to suck it and his wife then started sucking mine. In fact, I didn’t like that either of them were looking at me when I was sucking him. The only comfort I had with her was that at least she didn’t see me as super small even though I am like 5” as her husband as I said was smaller. It was easy to fit his entire cock in my mouth but I found it boring and only was doing so out of the feeling of obligation. There was no power feeling, no fleshy stretchable sensations, and perhaps he sensed I wasn’t that into it. He then moved away and his wife got on the back and said to me come here as she sort of moved me into a missionary position. There was no condom involved and so with much uncertainty I entered her since I was hard. My penis felt to me very small inside her as she was loose in sensation and as I fucked back and forth like I had seen in video porn. I was surprised that it felt like I was in an almost empty space. In fact, I had to look down to make sure I was inside her. It was not what I expected it to feel like as like I said there was hardly any feeling. I tried fucking harder but I was afraid several times like I was slipping out. Then I pictured in my mind that I had Chicky’s big thick cock to fuck with and that idea turned me on. I was able to cum with that fantasy because I knew something of his size would have felt different for her and especially for me if I had a big one.
After my experience with the married couple, I didn’t feel much of a desire to be with women nor small endowed men. When I finished college and began my career I was not dating or involved with anyone sexually. It was only masturbation for me but with not much stimulus. One day driving I saw a sign for an Adult Book store. I went inside and had entered from the back of the store and walked past a number of video booths some open some closed. There were a few unsavory looking characters kind of hanging around back there so I quickly walked past them to the magazine and toy section. However, at the front desk I asked the clerk about the video booths. He said you could choose to watch different films and that I had to buy tokens to use them. I did that and went to one of the booths and quickly closed the door. I started to watch one of the movies and it almost scared me but a guy’s penis poked through a hole in the side of the booth. It was of average size and I looked at it with curiosity as it was the first uncircumcised penis that I saw that close up. I took it in my hand and jacked it back and forth just to see the foreskin slide but it was not a great turn on either. After a few minutes I heard a whisper through the booth, “Do you want to suck it?” I didn’t and said wait a minute. But, what I did was pulling up my pants and quickly left. But, when I was driving home I was finding myself more turned on about the entire episode. What I realized and liked was I didn’t have to deal with the person just their cock. I wouldn’t know how they looked, their body, their personality, nor was I interested. Plus, I had no shame because the best thing was they couldn’t look at me either. I could gaze at their dick, study it, play with it and again without them seeing me. That idea turned me on and I wanted to go back.
The next day I want back or should I say the next evening. Now it was more crowded and like some of these guys I kind of hung around too. A black guy gave me a wink and went into a booth and I went in the one next to it. I picked correctly. Through the hole slid a big black semi-hard cock and I almost came from just holding it at first in my hand. It really felt heavy and I liked the way I could squeeze it and make it longer. I loved that he couldn’t see me or I him. So, I took my erect cock and put it right to the side of his so I could compare mine to his. I was careful so they wouldn’t touch but being right next to each other I could see how small I looked next to his. It really was amazing how just a few inches on a penis make one look twice as big as the other. I was so turned on and I took him in my mouth loving the feeling. I experimented with several different techniques trying to discover by his cock reactions what was feeling best. I won’t say for sure he was Chicky dimensions and in fact I thought next time I needed to sneak in a measuring tape to accurately know the size. I found that if I sucked it slow and used a combination of my hand to jack his cock that he would softly moan and when I would feel it pulsating I then sucked hard and could feel the cock getting ready to cum. I wanted to swallow and not stop at that point of no return and did so. I felt like the big powerful cock in my mouth was in a crazy way giving me that power for the few seconds of him cuming and the brief aftermath as I would continue to now gently suck until he pulled away. I was shocked to discover that I had cum while sucking him or at least had a lot of precum dripping. I realized this was perfect for me as I didn’t have to deal with the person as a whole just their male essence.
Over the course of the next few months I would when possible visit the Adult Store. However, there were too many times when the cock poking through was not one that would impress me or be a turn-on and I knew I had to come up with a better solution.
To be continued
After our fight, Chicky would continue on occasion to bully me. Sometimes in the shower he would also make fun of my much smaller penis laughing and calling it a weenie. There was even an occasion or two where he took his cock and slapped it against me in front of others laughing. But, I was not the only one he did this to or picked on.
It was about a week later that we both had another confrontation and our punishment was we had to stay behind and clean this room. But, of course when everyone was gone including anybody to supervise, Chicky basically made me do all the cleaning while he laid in bed. After I had finished cleaning and now being dirty I went in the shower area to wash off. Chicky came in naked as well and suddenly pushed me against the wall. “You like my dick don’t you, I see you always staring at it. I know why; mine is so much bigger than yours-ha-ha” “Get away from me” but the way I stammered exposing with my voice my nervousness and excitement. It was true of course that I hated him but liked and admired his dick. “Look how we compare” Chicky laughed and slapped his cock hard against mine. Then he said words that I probably fantasized about but never intended to ever do, “Suck it.” He then pushed me real hard down grabbing my head and his cock brushed against my mouth as I tried to pull away. But, my gowing erect dick totally betrayed me. Chicky saw it and said, “Man you got a baby’s cock but I knew you wanted my dick, look you are hard” and he laughed. He pulled my head right at his cock and I actually only pretended to resist as somehow I was compelled and I opened my mouth and that fat cock of his even not hard totally filled my mouth. He started pushing back and forth fucking my mouth with his penis ever expanding including even growing thicker. I quickly forgot about anything else but this big fleshy penis in my mouth and loving how alive and big it felt. “Get those godamn teeth off of me, he instructed. This was the first time I had ever sucked a cock and so not being experienced I just complied with his fucking motion. Several times I chocked and coughed and he would pull back. Some might think in reading this that it was kind of a rape. But, actually it wasn’t. I knew inwardly I wanted him to take control and I wanted to suck his cock. His penis was much bigger and better than mine as he had pointed out and this all seemed correct. It didn’t take long and suddenly I felt Chicky tense up and started shooting his load in my mouth. I definitely gagged at that and then spitted the cum out almost vomiting. Chicky withdrew his cock turned to wash his cock off and without saying a word walked out of the shower. I stayed there and when he was out of sight jacked off quickly. When I came out Chicky said, “I may want you to suck me again and if you refuse I am going to tell everyone what just happened.” I said, if you tell then I never will do it again, you will get in big trouble, so you better not.” As soon as I said those words I realized I had just told him I was willing. However, after this incident and perhaps with his own concern about getting in trouble he pretty much ignored me. I would sometimes quietly masturbate in my bed under the covers late at night thinking how exciting it was to see a much bigger penis than mine and to feel its size and power in my mouth. But, I didn’t like of course the person that big cock was attached to. If anything my envy was even more wishing I had a big cock and my desire was to suck it again but it never happened. The summer soon was over. But, that incident began a trail of future experiences for me with oral sex on men.
The next time it happened was in college. A guy in one of my classes asked if I wanted to go to a bar on a Saturday night. We hung out and I think pretended to each other like we were there to meet women. But, having no success with minimal effort anyway, we eventually headed back to his apartment. We had a beer or two there and talked or probably retrospectively tested one another with conversation about being horny. “I wish there was a girl here to suck my dick” he said. “Me too” I responded not wanting to expose myself if he was straight. But it was kind of obvious and we both without having to say too much more looked at each other and then nodded and took off our pants and shirts. I was disappointed to see that he was somewhat heavy with a very hairy upper body and only very slightly larger than me in cock size. His cock and body did not turn me on at all. But, it was too late so we did like a 69 and I finished him my hand. I don’t recall that I came. This also was a onetime encounter because I did not find him or a cock like mine in the least bit exciting.
My only sexual experience with a woman came about perhaps a year later. I had started an internship at college and had to drive 4 hours to a resort to get medical records that could not be shipped. I was smart enough at this resort town area to have gotten the school to pay for a room and went on a Friday because that would not interfere with my other classes. This town had a street with a row of bars so that evening I went to several. One of them was a 3 story building and the upstairs I learned was a swinger’s bar. It was not an on premises place and mainly there were couples sitting at bars or tables I assumed to find a match. I didn’t realize all of this immediately and so had gotten a beer and was sitting alone at a table watching slowly understanding the environment. I wanted to leave feeling out of place but not so obvious. Right before I was planning to get up this older couple walked by and the guy turned to me and asked, “By yourself?” I reacted defensive at first because I wasn’t sure it was couples only. I said I was just there not knowing anything. He laughed and without prompting both he and his wife sat down. “It’s OK, it’s bi night here.” He added, “Usually that is more about women but it’s OK with guys too.” They both introduced themselves and we talked for a good 30 minutes. He acted like a host kind of explaining the place and how it worked. This was for people to have a drink, a good time, and if they hooked up that was fine but there was no on premises sexual activity. Finally he said that they were going back to their hotel room down the street and why I don’t come back with them for a drink and we could talk more. I knew they were inviting me and although I was a bit nervous having not been with a woman I found him attractive as an older man.
At their swanky hotel room we all had a drink and they asked me if I had ever done any swinging. I told them no and that actually I had never been with a woman. They were surprised, “A young guy like you, why not.” I didn’t really have an honest answer that I wanted to share. “Maybe he likes guys” his wife said. I lied and said I have had very little experience but I did have a guy friend that we did some things. “Well, let’s all get comfortable” his wife said and they quickly undressed. I neglected to mention that she was heavy set with big breasts and when he took off his pants I was really disappointed with his flabby body and dare I say little dick. It was smaller than mine by an inch in length and maybe even a bit thinner than mine too. Once I removed my clothes he didn’t hesitate and started sucking my dick. He took my hand and placed it on his. I didn’t find the small feel of it to be a turn-on in the slightest. He then moved about while his wife started massaging me and placed his little penis near my mouth. I felt obligated to suck it and his wife then started sucking mine. In fact, I didn’t like that either of them were looking at me when I was sucking him. The only comfort I had with her was that at least she didn’t see me as super small even though I am like 5” as her husband as I said was smaller. It was easy to fit his entire cock in my mouth but I found it boring and only was doing so out of the feeling of obligation. There was no power feeling, no fleshy stretchable sensations, and perhaps he sensed I wasn’t that into it. He then moved away and his wife got on the back and said to me come here as she sort of moved me into a missionary position. There was no condom involved and so with much uncertainty I entered her since I was hard. My penis felt to me very small inside her as she was loose in sensation and as I fucked back and forth like I had seen in video porn. I was surprised that it felt like I was in an almost empty space. In fact, I had to look down to make sure I was inside her. It was not what I expected it to feel like as like I said there was hardly any feeling. I tried fucking harder but I was afraid several times like I was slipping out. Then I pictured in my mind that I had Chicky’s big thick cock to fuck with and that idea turned me on. I was able to cum with that fantasy because I knew something of his size would have felt different for her and especially for me if I had a big one.
After my experience with the married couple, I didn’t feel much of a desire to be with women nor small endowed men. When I finished college and began my career I was not dating or involved with anyone sexually. It was only masturbation for me but with not much stimulus. One day driving I saw a sign for an Adult Book store. I went inside and had entered from the back of the store and walked past a number of video booths some open some closed. There were a few unsavory looking characters kind of hanging around back there so I quickly walked past them to the magazine and toy section. However, at the front desk I asked the clerk about the video booths. He said you could choose to watch different films and that I had to buy tokens to use them. I did that and went to one of the booths and quickly closed the door. I started to watch one of the movies and it almost scared me but a guy’s penis poked through a hole in the side of the booth. It was of average size and I looked at it with curiosity as it was the first uncircumcised penis that I saw that close up. I took it in my hand and jacked it back and forth just to see the foreskin slide but it was not a great turn on either. After a few minutes I heard a whisper through the booth, “Do you want to suck it?” I didn’t and said wait a minute. But, what I did was pulling up my pants and quickly left. But, when I was driving home I was finding myself more turned on about the entire episode. What I realized and liked was I didn’t have to deal with the person just their cock. I wouldn’t know how they looked, their body, their personality, nor was I interested. Plus, I had no shame because the best thing was they couldn’t look at me either. I could gaze at their dick, study it, play with it and again without them seeing me. That idea turned me on and I wanted to go back.
The next day I want back or should I say the next evening. Now it was more crowded and like some of these guys I kind of hung around too. A black guy gave me a wink and went into a booth and I went in the one next to it. I picked correctly. Through the hole slid a big black semi-hard cock and I almost came from just holding it at first in my hand. It really felt heavy and I liked the way I could squeeze it and make it longer. I loved that he couldn’t see me or I him. So, I took my erect cock and put it right to the side of his so I could compare mine to his. I was careful so they wouldn’t touch but being right next to each other I could see how small I looked next to his. It really was amazing how just a few inches on a penis make one look twice as big as the other. I was so turned on and I took him in my mouth loving the feeling. I experimented with several different techniques trying to discover by his cock reactions what was feeling best. I won’t say for sure he was Chicky dimensions and in fact I thought next time I needed to sneak in a measuring tape to accurately know the size. I found that if I sucked it slow and used a combination of my hand to jack his cock that he would softly moan and when I would feel it pulsating I then sucked hard and could feel the cock getting ready to cum. I wanted to swallow and not stop at that point of no return and did so. I felt like the big powerful cock in my mouth was in a crazy way giving me that power for the few seconds of him cuming and the brief aftermath as I would continue to now gently suck until he pulled away. I was shocked to discover that I had cum while sucking him or at least had a lot of precum dripping. I realized this was perfect for me as I didn’t have to deal with the person as a whole just their male essence.
Over the course of the next few months I would when possible visit the Adult Store. However, there were too many times when the cock poking through was not one that would impress me or be a turn-on and I knew I had to come up with a better solution.
To be continued
