How important are tenderness and affection during sex?

Gillette

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I consider it very important but not at all times.

When tenderness and affection are expressed during sex I would call it 'making love'. Sometimes the gentle caresses give way to something more feral and that heat, that passion is equally important.
 

earllogjam

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Most gay sex that I have had for the most part is devoid of tenderness and affection yet most of the het sex I have had was always full of tenderness and affection. Perhaps this is more important for women.
 

earllogjam

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Men? Find and feel, fuck and forget them.

Men can get trapped into this situation and it becomes a conditioned response. I have known men who want a relationship, yearn for one, but can't break the one night stand habit and show fear at the idea of commitment.

You'd think if the guy really cared about you that tenderness and affection would just come naturally during the hop in the sack regardless of his past history of one night stands.
 

nudeyorker

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You'd think if the guy really cared about you that tenderness and affection would just come naturally during the hop in the sack regardless of his past history of one night stands.

I think tenderness and affection are an important part, of an ongoing relationship. On the other hand I like it a little rough and tumble sometimes. I think everyone is wired a little differently.
 

jason_els

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Most gay sex that I have had for the most part is devoid of tenderness and affection yet most of the het sex I have had was always full of tenderness and affection. Perhaps this is more important for women.

Or maybe you let your guard down more. Women (usually) take some getting to know before you have sex. The appreciate humor and flirting which helps you relax. I also think that even gay men tend to open-up more to women. Some of my earliest sexual encounters had tenderness and affection. I'd like there to be a lot more in the future.
 

Amber1

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Its massively important....

Most of all I need chemistry with someone.

Overall I like sex to be very heated and passionate with sum build up and I am not (how can I put it) a gently, gently person!!But I NEED sum tenderness there and sum affection....sum connection, friendship,bond?? Otherwise I feel like we mite aswell just be animals.

I dnt wanna fuck sum1 I hate!! I guess I wanna taste it all!! ;-)
 

killerb

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I consider it very important but not at all times.

When tenderness and affection are expressed during sex I would call it 'making love'. Sometimes the gentle caresses give way to something more feral and that heat, that passion is equally important.

exactly!

while it's not always necessary, sometimes the affection is nice...
one thing I hate is when it's over & I feel like I've been a human sex toy...
 

bradhottop

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It's very important to me. It adds a lot to the overall experience for me. I also like it rough and primal, so I incorporate periods of both in the same session. Start out slow, tender, kissing, etc. Work up to rough no holds bared, start back at the beginning and repeat, and repeat, and repeat...
 

Deno

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As much as I'd like to add a statement I have to decline to avoid any attempt at making myself sound imature. But I agree with you Hickboy.