Hm...
Never had a child....damn, how could I forget to have a child?? :biggrin1:
Maybe because I'm a single woman in my prime....or maybe just because I'm one of those rare women who think about sex every 60 seconds (yes, really), but sex is pretty important in my life. Maybe it wouldn't be so important if I had a regular loverman in my life to satisfy me. Maybe, Maybe.
But I don't (have a regular lover), so it is (pretty damn important)
Other things come close - like jumping out of a helicopter, jumping out of an airplane over the coast of Oahu, riding my motorcycle faster than I can freefall (over 120 mph but don't tell the police!), getting an amazing deep tissue massage.... but even though I've done those things over and over and over again, they still don't compare to the ultimate letting-go experience of an orgasm....especially when it is simultaneously experienced with one's lover...
Me too! Well, ok I haven't jumped out of a helicopter or airplane or ridden a motorcycle over 120 mph :biggrin1: But I AM another of those women who think about sex about every 60 seconds. And like you, I don't have a regular lover, and really never have. I have been in a long-term relationship but unfortunately the guy I was in the LTR with had medical problems that affected his sex drive. :frown1:
Maslows hierarchy of needs gave us (in order) food & water, clothing, shelter and sex. And that is pretty much where it fits in my life, particularly as I enjoy regular good sex and have done so for many long years.
Once I had a major medical scare and it enlightened me. After, I appreciated that our time can be limited and our future is always uncertain. From that point on I decided not to wait or to tolerate something less, if I could have it now and have something good.
Sex is one of many ways to keep a relationship fresh and alive. It is pleasurable, intimate and enjoyable. After, you both feel refreshed, and you both feel closer to each other. The converse, lack of sex in a relationship, breeds anxiety, hostility, depression and worse.
So recreational sex is one of lifes little pleasures, and if you don't enjoy it now when you can, who knows what the future may bring?
And again, me too! Even down to having the medical scare! I nearly died in 2003. I was in critical condition and could not eat or drink anything for over a week - they kept me alive through hydration by IV.
Unfortunately, simply wanting the pleasure isn't enough. You have to find someone who wants to have sex WITH YOU, and who isn't a psycho! That's where I have a problem... That and the fact that IRL I'm very shy.
what about freedom? Knowledge? Social Acceptance?
If sex was right above shelter, wouldn't people not even try to achieve the above mentioned without sex?
Actually, freedom, knowledge and social acceptance are not as important as sex in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (BTW I was a psych major in college and of the personality theorists, my own personal philosophy comes closer to Maslow's than any of the others I learned about).
Sex is in the same category as food, water, clothing, shelter, etc. - Basic physical needs.
Just under that comes safety. Although I'd say that safety is also a basic physical need, so I'd actually lump that in with the first category.
Under that comes love and belongingness (that's where the social acceptance comes in).
After that comes esteem (knowledge, etc.) needs.
And after that comes self-actualization - which very few people actually attain.
I'm personally ok in the basic physical needs department WITH THE EXCEPTION OF sex, so of course that dominates my thoughts.
I'm also hung up on (and have been all my life) the "love and belongingness"/social acceptance needs.
OMG!!
I cannot even
imagine going 3 years without sex....especially at 21 !
Wow.
Just
Wow.
This is what is so wonderful about human beings - we are all connected, we are all one, yet ....we are all sooooooooooo different! To each his/her own. But ...wow.!
I've gone for 4, 5 and 6 years without sex, and didn't have sex at all until I was 21. However in my case it was NOT BY CHOICE. It was a combination of being shy and being thought of as unattractive/ugly, and a "weirdo" by my peers... My looks have improved and most people where I live now wouldn't think of me as a weirdo (although people in my hometown probably still would!), but I'm still very shy IRL as a result of the things that have happened to me, although I'm improving in that department as well.
Although I will say that the period of 6 years I went without sex was not for the above reason. I was involved with someone who had medical issues that caused ED, and even Viagra didn't help. Not only that but part of that time
I was seriously ill myself and so there wasn't a whole lot I could do at that time.
Problem is, I really feel like I was cheated out of opportunities to have a good sex life, and want to make up for lost time before it is too late!