How important is the Physical portion of the relationship?

[MrMXYZPTLK]

So has anyone ever broken up with someone due to something PHYSICAL? not Emotional.

Examples would be:
- He/She was a great guy but he sucked in bed.
- His Penis was to Small/Big
- He/She sucks at blow jobs
- He/She is to Fat/Skinny
- I didn't like His/Her Hair style
- His/Her natural oder was very unpleasant
- and so on and so on.

Everyone says if love someone, it doesn't matter what they look like or how good of shape they are in.

So here is my question. Has there ever been so something physically unpleasant with a person to you, that you could not over look it?

 

[Riven650]

Physical attraction plays a big role in the initial bonding of a relationship, and once together I think we tend to make allowances for our partner' physical shortcomings. If the relationship goes sour though, it is easy to allow those shortcomings to bug us.

So to answer your direct question: I have often found myself not wanting to get into a relationship with someone who's physical shortcomings have been the deal breaker. But when in a relationship it has not been the physical things that make me want to quit the relationship. Wanting to quit has always been stimulated by behaviour.

 

[MrMXYZPTLK]

Physical attraction plays a big role in the initial bonding of a relationship, and once together I think we tend to make allowances for our partner' physical shortcomings. If the relationship goes sour though, it is easy to allow those shortcomings to bug us.

So to answer your direct question: I have often found myself not wanting to get into a relationship with someone who's physical shortcomings have been the deal breaker. But when in a relationship it has not been the physical things that make me want to quit the relationship. Wanting to quit has always been stimulated by behaviour.

Wow, just wow. Super good and inteligent answer!!!

 

[Riven650]

:smile:

 

[pcghabsy]

I haven't been in a long-term relationship, so it has been very important. Thus far. If I were looking to "settle down" with someone, I am sure things would be a bit different.

 

[redbear52]

As Riven said, although the physical attractions are what get you hooked on another person (one of the things, anyway) physical attributes don't usually drive you away.

The exception would be really grossly mismatched libidos, though. I have known guys in relationships, and I have had one or two myself, in which the female partner seemed to lose all interest in sex after a while, after marriage or after having children. And I have heard a woman or two complain about a boyfriend who, after he turned 30, seemed to be interested in doing nothing more physical than sit on the sofa, watch football, and eat potato chips.

I think this type of thing can be tolerated by a couple for a while, and perhaps by some even permanently, but it puts great stress on the relationship.

 

[syagash]

I have been in a long term relationship and am finding that the physical/sexual short comings of my partner and her closed minded attitude to sex is bothering me more and more.
There are sex acts that my partner won't do and never did even when we were younger(oral/anal):frown1:.
I find myself looking at and talking to other women now when I never used to and I think this is a large part of why.

 

[Riven650]

I have been in a long term relationship and am finding that the physical/sexual short comings of my partner and her closed minded attitude to sex is bothering me more and more.
There are sex acts that my partner won't do and never did even when we were younger(oral/anal):frown1:.
I find myself looking at and talking to other women now when I never used to and I think this is a large part of why.

When you say... "physical/sexual short comings of my partner and her closed minded attitude to sex is bothering me"... I'd suggest you try to tease these two things (that bother you about your wife) apart a bit. I reckon that the second part (about her attitude; and what she will or won't do, etc.) is the bit that causes you to be bothered about the first part. This problem is fixable. I think you and your partner should read a book my wife and I read together a few weeks back (a friend of ours is reading it now - and, no, I don't have any connection to the author or publisher): The Sex-Starved Marriage. A Couple's Guide To Boosting Their Marriage Libido. By Michele Weiner Davis. Long title, I know, but a very good read. It helped my wife and I come to terms with a few things in our relationship that needed sorting out. Misunderstandings, basically. And we have been enjoying sex a LOT more since )

All the best and good luck.

 

[syagash]

When you say... "physical/sexual short comings of my partner and her closed minded attitude to sex is bothering me"... I'd suggest you try to tease these two things (that bother you about your wife) apart a bit. I reckon that the second part (about her attitude; and what she will or won't do, etc.) is the bit that causes you to be bothered about the first part. This problem is fixable. I think you and your partner should read a book my wife and I read together a few weeks back (a friend of ours is reading it now - and, no, I don't have any connection to the author or publisher): The Sex-Starved Marriage. A Couple's Guide To Boosting Their Marriage Libido. By Michele Weiner Davis. Long title, I know, but a very good read. It helped my wife and I come to terms with a few things in our relationship that needed sorting out. Misunderstandings, basically. And we have been enjoying sex a LOT more since )

All the best and good luck.

I think that the pressures and stress of both of us having demanding careers and kids with no family support makes things harder than they need to be.

Time will tell if we make it or if one of us looks for and finds an out.

 

[Riven650]

I think that the pressures and stress ...
... Time will tell if we make it or if one of us looks for and finds an out.

Sometimes that can make the grass look greener on the other side of the fence. Sounds to me like you're already on the slippery slope towards relationship breakdown. I can tell you've lost a lot of faith in your relationship, but try to remind yourself of what you and your kids stand to lose should you quit now. Please, for the sake of them, your wife and yourself, try to dig deep and put renewed effort into fixing things. That book I mentioned WILL help. Take turns reading it aloud with your partner.

 

[Wrat]

The physical part of thte relationship gets you close so you can learn about your partner. After that it's just like being around every other human being. You get the good and the bad, and your commitment is what keeps you focused on the good.
There are things that my wife won't do, and it's too bad, but she does everything else so well, and so enthudiastically, I can't complain. But I like her most for who she is, not what she will do for me.

 

[Riven650]

...
... But I like her most for who she is, not what she will do for me.

:You_Rock_Emoticon::beerchug2:

 

[B_625girth]

never had a problem with the physical part. it was the compatability part. I heard, "I don't want to lose you, you're the best fuck I ever had. We need more than just sex in our relationship." too many times. many times I wasn't trying very hard on purpose because I just didn't dig the chick.

and it works the other way, also. where you're head over heels and she ain't.

 

[MrMXYZPTLK]

very good insights everyone. Me personally I didn't date in highschool. reguardless of having a big dick. Alot of girls say they don't like a guy that is skinnier than they are. In highschool I was 5'9" but 130 pounds. Girls wanted a guy with muscles.