How is it to be not 100% Straight as a Man?

FrankieGuile

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But the point of Marilyn’s post is that gay men can also be turned straight. Your argument presupposes there is such a thing as an immutable “gay” and immutable “heterosexual”. That’s a highly contentious concept. Straight men sometimes have sex with men but are not gay and don’t go on to be gay. They anre physically able to respond sexually to stimulus. Equally men with no interest in men can develop that at a later point of their lives. Were they always in denial? “Gay” men have gone on to develop relationships with women. Were they always just “bi” and didn’t know it?
Human sexuality is far more grey and actually changeable. Fluid. The Concept of two sexual polarities is a very modern one and not particularly secure as a definition. That a gay man or a straight man can physically respond to the opposite can be shown. The world just isn’t as neat as you like to think.
Contentious or not, that is my point and your response begs the questions in the rest of my post which were conveniently ignored. What do you call a man who never has had, and never will have, any interest romantically or sexually in another man? Conventionally, society calls this man, "straight." But if you're unwilling to do so, then what do you call him? Or, do you erase him by saying he does not exist?
 

Lovetobetouched

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Contentious or not, that is my point and your response begs the questions in the rest of my post which were conveniently ignored. What do you call a man who never has had, and never will have, any interest romantically or sexually in another man? Conventionally, society calls this man, "straight." But if you're unwilling to do so, then what do you call him? Or, do you erase him by saying he does not exist?
why do you need to label anyone? I’m not erasing such a person but I’m saying men with other ranges of sexuality are no less men. That’s your implication. There is 100% pure straight and everything else is ….? What? Gay, straight-ish…. Not straight??? Your narrow definition, if it exists at all, and surely every man has been at least a little curious, even for a minute or two, leaves a very narrow absolute that humans. And humans dont fit into Such absolutes in almost every other measure. I would say your idea of some theoretical 100% straight purity is as much a fantasy - a wishful fantasy - that you have…. You’ve been watching too many John Wayne films.
 
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FrankieGuile

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why do you need to label anyone? I’m not erasing such a person but I’m saying men with other ranges of sexuality are no less men. That’s your implication. There is 100% pure straight and everything else is ….? What? Gay, straight-ish…. Not straight??? Your narrow definition, if it exists at all, and surely every man has been at least a little curious, even for a minute or two, leaves a very narrow absolute that humans. And humans dont fit into Such absolutes in almost every other measure. I would say your idea of some theoretical 100% straight purity is as much a fantasy - a wishful fantasy - that you have…. You’ve been watching too many John Wayne films.
Labels are useful to identify who we are in a wide range of areas including sexual preference, gender identity, political ideology, religious beliefs and cultural background, among many others. If labels were not needed then they would not be part of our language. The usefulness of labels cannot be wiped away because some people reject their use. My point is that claiming there are shades of "straight" obliterates the conventional meaning of the word. So, if one has no romantic or sexual interest in people of the same sex and will never engage romantically or sexual in a same-sex relationship, what do you call that person? When you say, "surely every man has been at least a little curious..." you are projecting your own feelings on others and denying such straight people exit (by the conventional meaning of the word). That is, indeed, erasing such a person. So now that I have addressed your question "why do you need to label anyone," I should ask you: "why is it important to change the meaning of the term "straight" to mean something other than a person who has never "been at least a little curious even for a minute or two," as you described it?
 

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Being dismissive does not address the question begged by the respondent. A good label for your response would be "bullying."
Hey take it down a notch or two. Don’t be such a dork. Pedantic and splitting hairs. His comment wasn’t in the slightest “bullying”. Get a life. Goodbye
 
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FrankieGuile

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Hey take it down a notch or two. Don’t be such a dork. Pedantic and splitting hairs. His comment wasn’t in the slightest “bullying”. Get a life. Goodbye
And, still, no one has tackled the question made pertinent by the OP: "why is it important to change the meaning of the term "straight" to mean something other than a person who has never "been at least a little curious even for a minute or two," as he described it?
 

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And, still, no one has tackled the question made pertinent by the OP: "why is it important to change the meaning of the term "straight" to mean something other than a person who has never "been at least a little curious even for a minute or two," as he described it?
Cool whatever. I’m not hung up on labels. You clearly are. If that helps you. Great.

to answer your question. What if a man who never considered MSM until some day when the circumstances created an environment and he tried it. Was he always gay and didn’t know it? Does an immutable sexuality sometimes change? What if it’s a one-off? Does his straight hymen grow back eventually or does he forever remain bi?
 

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Cool whatever. I’m not hung up on labels. You clearly are. If that helps you. Great.

to answer your question. What if a man who never considered MSM until some day when the circumstances created an environment and he tried it. Was he always gay and didn’t know it? Does an immutable sexuality sometimes change? What if it’s a one-off? Does his straight hymen grow back eventually or does he forever remain bi?
In response to your statements and questions: 1) labels are important for defining things; 2) people who dismiss labels are prone to muddled thinking; 3) yes, such a person had homosexual tendencies -- we can't know if that person knew it or not; 4) it's a contradiction in terms to suggest anything "immutable" can sometimes change so the question should not be answered as it was asked -- but it was a clever, yet unsuccessful, attempt at epistemology; 5) if it is "one-off" then refer to my item 3 above; 6) males do not have hymens so there is nothing to grow back so I assume you were being facetious; and, 7) I would consider such a person as forever bi just as I would consider a spouse who cheats only once on his or her spouse forever an adulterer. Otherwise, one pollutes the traditional definition of "straight," necessitating a new word for a person who never engages in the sexual activity you describe. Why is such a label threatening to you?
 
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In response to your statements and questions: 1) labels are important for defining things; 2) people who dismiss labels are prone to muddled thinking; 3) yes, such a person had homosexual tendencies -- we can't know if that person knew it or not; 4) it's a contradiction in terms to suggest anything "immutable" can sometimes change so the question should not be answered as it was asked -- but it was a clever, yet unsuccessful, attempt at epistemology; 5) if it is "one-off" then refer to my item 3 above; 6) males do not have hymens so there is nothing to grow back so I assume you were being facetious; and, 7) I would consider such a person as forever bi just as I would consider a spouse who cheats only once on his or her spouse forever an adulterer. Otherwise, one pollutes the traditional definition of "straight," necessitating a new word for a person who never engages in the sexual activity you describe. Why is such a label threatening to you?
So no one ever knows if they are straight until after they lived. Once dead, one can be finally sure that one never had a homo inclination so was purely straight and had never ”polluted the traditional definition if straight.” As you say. So in that case, only if someone can speak from the grave, can we be ever sure that someone is straight? Otherwise, the most certain anyone can be is only ever “straight so far”….
 

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So no one ever knows if they are straight until after they lived. Once dead, one can be finally sure that one never had a homo inclination so was purely straight and had never ”polluted the traditional definition if straight.” As you say. So in that case, only if someone can speak from the grave, can we be ever sure that someone is straight? Otherwise, the most certain anyone can be is only ever “straight so far”….
No, that was not the intended message but only the logical consequence of the kind of thinking that suggests one cannot be straight as long as there is a possibility of homosexual engagement. Such an argument is nonsense. So, to avoid doubt, a person can certainly be straight, and should be considered so, long before their time ends, as long as that person's behavior is consistent with the traditional definition of straight. Indeed, it describes most people on the planet according to surveys, studies, polls, etc.
 

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great, i can enjoy things others think are for "pussies".

but thats more a state of mind than depending on my sexuality.

i like what i like and dont let others bad opinion make me stop. always been that way.

if ppl dont like me cause of that, so be it. life is too short to he bothered with those guys ha
 
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